I was silent, and Flora proceeded, fixing a sharp look on me, "I know that you lightly esteem me, and judge me unjustly; but still you cannot say that I am an ordinary person." 66 Extraordinary and nobly endowed, you unquestionably are,' replied I, "but in reality you are perhaps less extraordinary than you yourself believe. Besides, dearest Flora, I am not competent to judge of you, for I do not know you yet. You are frequently so unlike yourself, you appear as if you were not one person, but a compound of two, nay, of many. Yes, nor am I one person," rejoined Flora; "I have a double nature-a Fylgia and a Varsel-which is continually dancing about, and is my other self-which follows me like a shadow and places itself between me and all truth, night and day, at home and abroad, laughing or weeping, in the ball-room or at churchnay, even in church it interposes between me and heaven! How then is it possible that I can have peace; that I can be free! Ah, would that I could exchange my nature for that of a little sparrow in the field!" "And why a sparrow?" inquired I. .... "Because then nobody would trouble himself about me; because then I should know nothing of my But stop! I feel that one of my evil demons is near!" "Suffer him not to gain any power over you!" I entreated, with seriousness and warmth. "He has already power over me!" said Flora, bitterly, "and I stand on the brink of an abyss--and soon, soon enough I shall be dragged down, unless.... She became mute; the sound of soft steps was heard proceeding from the outer room, and St. Orme entered. Soon after came my stepmother and Selma, and all went to supper at the Silfverlings'. January 23d. New symptoms of disquietude. My stepmother had assumed her Metternich features and the telegraphic signs between her and the Chamberlain are increasing. I strongly suspect a conspiracy against my precious freedom. "We must go cautiously and a little diplomatically to work," I heard my stepmother say a short time ago to my uncle in a whisper. "You surely have not let Sophia surmise any thing? "No; but I delicately sound my depth as I proceed, and depend upon me, I know how to treat with the ladies," answered he. Moreover my stepmother torments me with eulogies on the Chamberlain, and the Chamberlain with questions as to my opinion of furniture; as, for instance, the form and shapes of tables, drawers, &c. He wishes, as he says, to be guided in the furnishing of some new rooms entirely by my taste. But what do I care about his furniture? If my stepmother sings my uncle's praise, he is no less liberal in extolling her. "She is one of the best ladies I know," was his observation again to-day. "Such tact, discrimination, and discretion! One may confide one's whole heart and soul to her, and I for my part-if I wish to do some good in secret-I know nobody whom I would so readily and with such perfect security make my confidant." I begin to be out of patience with all this. There is a rumour abroad of a marriage between Brenner and a handsome and rich young widow. This has annoyed me a little. Brenner's deportment appears to me strange. Why did he not speak to me about this alliance? Am I not his friend, his sisterly friend. And why. of conduct in him. it in such a light. I cannot bear any ambiguity But perhaps I am wrong to view January 24th. An at Coolness between my stepmother and me. tempt on her part to impose on me repelled. Ihaughty, and displaying my sense of liberty in a not very amiable manner. Looks of displeasure from Flora, regards of anxious entreaty from Selma. General discomfort. If things were to continue thus, it will be amusing! Ah, people say, life is stagnant when it is not quickened or incited by events from without. But such is not the case. I should conjecture that at such times the angels of heaven are attentively inclining to our life on earth, for then the chords quiver in its inmost depth, then are developed its finest nerves, then forms itself that which increases the power of heaven or of hell. Till the hour when the butterfly unfolds its wings it reposes quietly in the safe resting-place which it has chosen. Until that hour of transformation its life appears to be altogether internal. But the radiant day butterfly and the nocturnal sphinx are children of the same quiet summer hour. January 25th. A ramble out. Disagreeable, uncomfortable day, people's faces looking purple with cold, the sky grey, icicles on all houses, snow half an ell deep in all the streets; fretful thoughts, dull feelings! But "this too, like every thing else, will pass away," was the apothegm which Solomon the Wise gave to an Eastern Prince, who desired from him a motto that might strengthen his mind in adversity and humble it in prosperity; and this motto shall be mine too. January 26th. To-day coming down to dinner, I saw, on entering the inner apartment, my stepmother and the Chamberlain sitting on the sofa, engaged in a whispering, confidential conversation, which they suddenly broke off at my approach. My stepmother seemed to be in an extremely good humour, came to me soon after, and said to me in a marked manner, while with pleasant attention she was arranging some part of my dress : "I must tell you that we have just had a long conversation about you, and about several matters concerning you. Hem-hem-hem!" "About what matters concerning me?" inquired I, with an expression of dullness of comprehension. "Why, about matters all severally of importance; hem-hem-hem!" said my stepmother, smiling. And then she commenced a little speech about the pleasure she felt at seeing all around her happy; how that all her thoughts and efforts were directed to the attainment of this object; how utterly regardless she was of her own personal interests and happiness; and how she lived only for the welfare of others, &c. I thought of my bitter youthful reminiscences, and assumed a frigid demeanour at my stepmother's majestic speech. aux We went to dinner. The Chamberlain was 66 petits soins" with me, and shared the best morsels between himself and me, which I did not well relish. To the polite attention of my stepmother I also responded coldly, and Selma's looks, which seemed to ask, "What have we done to you?" I avoided. The conversation at table happened to turn on youth, which was extolled as the golden age of life: during that period the Chamberlain had, as he himself remarked, "had his share of the cup of enjoyment." I observed that I, on the other hand, preserved from my youth the bitterest recollections, such as to this day had a marring influence on my mind. I perceived in the troubled countenance of my stepmother that she was smitten with self-reproach; while I felt as if a heavy avalanche was pressing on my heart. In the afternoon, while working at a little collar, I made a somewhat peevish complaint of not having a particle of blond to trim it with. My stepmother immediately hastened into her room, and returned quickly with a quantity of beautiful blond, which she playfully put round my neck, begging me "to accept of that," and hoped it might answer my purpose." At the same time I felt myself clasped in her arms, and her soft breath on my cheeks, while she archly whispered, that 66 my eager desire for emancipation should not prevent her from holding me fast." In my present Spitzbergen mood I could not, however, see any thing in this embrace except an attempt to curtail my freedom; I, therefore, disengaged myself from her coldly, and re |