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And phansy with what joy
The master did regard
His dearly bluvd lost oss again
Who was this master good
Of whomb I makes these rhymes?
Good Lord! I wouldn't ave that mann
Now shortly after the groomb
This gentleman to wake up:
For two pound seventeen
For the keep of Mr. Jacob's oss,
Which the thief had took to ride.
"Do you see anythink green in me?" Mr. Jacob Homnium cried.
"Because a raskle chews
My oss away to robb,
And goes tick at your Mews
For seven-and-fifty bobb,
Shall I be call'd to pay?—It is
A iniquitious Jobb."
Thus Mr. Jacob cut
The conwasation short ;
The livery-man went ome,
Detummingd to ave sport,
And summingsd Jacob Homnium, Exquire, Into the Pallis Court.
Pore Jacob went to Court,
A Counsel for to fix,
And choose a barrister out of the four,
An attorney of the six :
And there he sor these men of Lor,
And watch'd 'em at their tricks.
The dreadful day of trile
In the Pallis Court did come;
The lawyers said their say,
The Judge look'd wery glum, And then the British Jury cast Pore Jacob Hom-ni-um.
O a weary day was that
For Jacob to go through;
The debt was two seventeen
(Which he no mor owed than you), And then there was the plaintives costs, Eleven pound six and two.
And then there was his own,
Which the lawyers they did fix
At the wery moderit figgar
Of ten pound one and six.
Now Evins bless the Pallis Court,
And all its bold ver-dicks!
The night was stormy and dark, The town was shut up in sleep Only those were abroad who were out on a lark, Or those who'd no beds to keep.
I pass'd through the lonely street, The wind did sing and blow; I could hear the policeman's feet Clapping to and fro.
There stood a potato-man In the midst of all the wet; He stood with his 'tato-can In the lonely Haymarket.
Two gents of dismal mien, And dank and greasy rags, Came out of a shop for gin, Swaggering over the flags:
Swaggering over the stones, These shabby bucks did walk; And I went and followed those seedy ones, And listened to their talk.
Was I sober or awake? Could I believe my ears? Those dismal beggars spake Of nothing but railroad shares.
I wondered more and more: Says one-" Good friend of mine, How many shares have you wrote for, In the Diddlesex Junction line?"
"I wrote for twenty," says Jim, "But they wouldn't give me one;" His comrade straight rebuked him For the folly he had
"O Jim, you are unawares Of the ways of this bad town; I always write for five hundred shares, And then they put me down."
"And yet you got no shares," Says Jim, "for all your boast;" "I would have wrote," says Jack, "but where Was the penny to pay the post?"
"I lost, for I couldn't pay here's 'taters smoking hot-I say,
That first instalment up; But
And at this simple feast each ragged capitalist Down on my left thumb-nail.
The while they did regale, I drew
All night I tumbled and tost, And And how money was won and lost.
Their talk did me perplex, thought of railroad specs,
"Bless railroads everywhere," I said, "and the world's advance; Bless every railroad share In Italy, Ireland, France; For never a beggar need now despair, And every rogue has a chance."
A WOEFUL NEW BALLAD
PROTESTANT CONSPIRACY TO TAKE THE POPE'S LIFE.
(BY A GENTLEMAN WHO HAS BEEN ON THE SPOT.)
COME all ye Christian people, unto my tale give ear,
'Tis about a base consperracy, as quickly shall appear;
"Twill make your hair to bristle up, and your eyes to start and glow, When of this dread consperracy you honest folks shall know.