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Canonize him !- by Judas, we will canonize him;
For Cant is his hobby and twaddling his bliss. And though wise men may pity and wits may despise him,
He'll make but the better shop-saint for all this.
Convoke all the serious Tag-rag of the nation ;
To witness their B-tt-rw-rth's Canonization !
Yea, humbly I've ventured his merits to paint,
Yea, feebly have tried all his gifts to portray ; And they form a sum-total for making a saint,
That the Devil's own Advocate could not gainsay. Jump high, all ye Jumpers ! ye Ranters, all roar !
While B-tt-rw-rth's spirit, sublimed from your eyes, Like a kite made of foolscap, in glory shall soar,
With a long tail of rubbish behind, to the skies !
NEW CREATION OF PEERS.
BATCH THE FIRST.
His 'prentice han'
He tried on man,
And then he made the lasses. * And now,' quoth the minister (eased of his panics,
And ripe for each pastime the summer affords), • Having had our full swing at destroying mechanics,
By way of set-off, let us make a few Lords. ''Tis pleasant—while nothing but mercantile fractures,
Some simple, some compound, is dinned in our earsTo think that, though robbed of all coarse manufactures,
We still keep our fine manufacture of Peers ;-
In engrossing the whole fabrication and trade of;
But showing on tother what rags they are made of.' The plan being fixed, raw material was sought,
No matter how middling, so Tery the creed be: And first-to begin with Squire W—rt-y, 'twas thought,
For a Lord was as raw a material as need be. Next came, with his penchant for painting and pelf,
The tasteful Sir Ch-rl-s, so renowned, far and near, For purchasing pictures, and selling himself, —
And both (as the public well knows) very dear.
Beside him come L-c-st—r, with equal éclåt, in ;
Stand forth, chosen pair, while for titles we measure ye ;
Sir John after nature, Sir Charles on the Treasury.
In his hand he upholds a prescription, new written;
And he asketh a seat 'mong the Peers of Great Britain !
And the strawberry-leaves were by rhubarb supplanted !
If nought but a Peerage can gladden thy life,
Sweet Doctor, we'll make a she Peer of thy wife.
Is to bask in its light from the brows of another ;
As o'er Vesey Fitzgerald 'twill shine through his mother.''
(It being no joke to make Lords by the heap),
His speech against Papists—and prosed off to sleep.
A CAMBRIDGE BALLAD. Choose between them, Cambridge, prayi
Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. *I authorized my Committee to take the step which they did, of proposing a fair comparison of Each a different mode pursues, strength, upon the understanding that whichever of the two should prove to be the weakest, should
Each the same conclusion reaches; give way to the other. - Extract from Mr. W. B-nkes is foolish in Reviews, J. Bankes's Letter to Mr. Goulburn.
G-lb-rn foolish in his speeches. Νικα ουδ' αλλος, αν ΑΣΣατοι δ'
Choose between them, Cambridge, pray; MEV
-Theocrikus. Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. B-NKES is weak, and G-Ib-rn, too, Each a different foe doth damn, No one e'er the fact denied ;
When his own affairs have gone ill ; Which is weakest' of the two,
B-nkes he damneth Buckingham, Cambridge can alone decide.
G-Ib-rn damneth Dan O'Connell. Choose between them, Cambridge, pray; Choose between them, Cambridge, pray; Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. G-Ib-rn of the Pope afraid is, B-nkes, accustomed much to roam, B-nkes as much afraid as he,
Plays with Truth a traveller's pranks; Never yet did two old ladies
G-1b-rn, though he stays at home, On this point so well agree.
Travels thus as much as B-nkes. Among the persons mentioned as likely to be raised to the Peerage are the mother of Mr. Vesey Fitzgerald, etc.
Choose between them, Cambridge, pray; | So, whichever first shall bray,
Choose him, Cambridge, for thy own
Choose him, choose him by his bra": Once, we know, a horse's neigh Thus elect him, Cambridge, pray.
Fixed the election to a throne;
COPY OF AN INTERCEPTED DESPATCH. FROM HIS EXCELLENCY DON STREPITOSO DIABOLO, ENVOY EXTRAORDINARY TO
HIS SATANIC MAJESTY.
St. James' Street, July 1.
An official young Demon, preparing to go,
From the Hell here, at Cr-ckf-rd's, to our Hell below-
To say that, first having obeyed your directions,
My next special care was to help the Elections.
When every good Christian tormented his brother,
From their all coming down, ready grilled by each other ;
With the old Penal Code,-that chef-d'autre of Law,
We could plainly perceive the fine touch of thy claw ;-
(Though Eld-n, with help from your Highness, would try)
Could we get up a thundering No-Popery cry;-
So like is to ours, in its spirit and tone,
To think that Religion should make it her own.
Of the chorus, as sung by your Majesty's choir,
Of myself and some others, who sing it with fire,'ı
Such audience, though yelled by a Sans-culotte crew,
That not only wear breeches, but petticoats too!'
'Con fuoco-a music-book direction.
Such then were my hopes ; but, with sorrow, your Highness,
I'm forced to confess—be the cause what it will,
Our Beelzebub Chorus has gone off but ill.
The Treasury pitch-pipe of late is so various ;
At the York music meeting, pow think it precarious.
But one or two capital roarers we've had;
And Huntingdon Maberly's yell was not bad.
Even Eld-n allows we got on but so-so;
We must, please your Highness, recruit from below.
Excuse me, Great Sir—there's no time to be civil ;-
MR. ROGER DODSWORTH.
To the Editor of the Times. Sır, - Living in a remote part of Scotland, and having but just heard of the wonderful resurrection of Mr. Roger Dodsworth from under an avalanche, where he had remained, bien frappé, it seems, for the last 166 years, I hasten to impartto you a few reflections on the subject.
LAUDATOR TEMPORIS ACTI.
To find thus a gentleman, frozen in the year
To serve for our times quite as well as the Peer ;-
Of our ancestors, such as we find it on shelves,
To shovel up one of those wise bucks themselves !
Let him learn nothing useful or new on the way;
And our Tories will hail him with “Hear' and · Hurra!'
! This reverend gentleman distinguished himself at the Reading clection.
What a God-send to them-a good, obsolete man,
Who has never of Locke or Voltaire been a reader ;-
And the L-nsd-les and H-rtf-rds shall choose him for leader.
And deeply with thee will they sorrow, good men,
So altered, thou hardly canst know it again.
Such oceans of tears, thou wilt fancy that he
And is only now thawing, dear Roger, like thee.
As matters, both public and private, now go,
A good rich Millenniumn will come à propos.
Instead of thy bankrupt old City of Rags,
Sound bullion throughout, from the roof to the flags-
A celestial Cocaigne, on whose buttery shelves
As your saints seldom fail to take care of themselves !
Divine Squintifobus, who, placed within reach
Can cast, at the same time, a sly look at each ;-
May, even in our own times, a jubilee share,
And so often has failed, we began to despair.
For the man who must being the Millennium about;
1'A measure of wheat for a penny, and three 3 When Whiston presented to Prince Eugene measures of barley for a penny. - Rev. c. 6. the Essay in which he attempted to connect his
2 See the oration of this reverend gentleman, victories over the Turks with revelation, the where he describes the connubial joys of para- Prince is said to have replied that he was not dise, and paints the angels hovering around aware he had ever had the honour of being Seach happy fair.'
known to St. John.'