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MORAL POSITIONS.

A DREAM.

'His Lordship said that it took a long time for a moral position to find its way across the Atlantic. He was sorry that its voyage had been so long,' etc.-Speech of Lord Dudley and Ward on Colonial Slavery, March 8.

T'OTHER night, after hearing Lord Dudley's oration

(A treat that comes once in the year, as May-day does),
I dreamt that I saw-what a strange operation!—
A 'moral position' shipped off for Barbadoes.

The whole Bench of Bishops stood by, in grave attitudes,
Packing the article tidy and neat ;-

As their Reverences know, that in southerly latitudes
'Moral positions' don't keep very sweet.

There was B-th-st arranging the custom-house pass;
And, to guard the frail package from tousing and routing,
There stood my Lord Eld-n, endorsing it 'Glass,'

Though-as to which side should lie uppermost-doubting.

The freight was, however, stowed safe in the hold;
The winds were polite, and the moon looked romantic,
While off in the good ship the Truth' we were rolled,
With our ethical cargo, across the Atlantic.

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Long, dolefully long, seemed the voyage we made ;-
For the Truth,' at all times but a very slow sailer,

By friends, near as much as by foes, is delayed,

And few come aboard her, though so many hail her.

At length, safe arrived, I went through 'tare and tret'—
Delivered my goods in the primest condition-
And next morning read, in the Bridgetown Gazette,
'Just arrived, by "the Truth," a new Moral Position;

The Captain '- -here, startled to find myself named
As 'the Captain' (a thing which, I own it with pain,
I through life have avoided), I woke-looked ashamed-
Found I wasn't a Captain, and dozed off again.

MEMORABILIA OF LAST WEEK.

MONDAY, MARCH 13.

THE Budget-quite charming and witty-no hearing,
For plaudits and laughs, the good things that were in it ;-
Great comfort to find, though the Speech isn't cheering,
That all its gay auditors were, every minute.

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What, still more prosperity!-mercy upon us,
'This boy'll be the death of me'-oft as, already,
Such smooth Budgeteers have genteelly undone us,
For Ruin made easy there's no one like Freddy.

TUESDAY.

Much grave apprehension expressed by the Peers,
Lest--as in the times of the Peachums and Lockitts-
The large stock of gold we're to have in three years,
Should all find its way into highwaymen's pockets!1

A Petition presented (well timed, after this)

Throwing out a sly hint to Grandees, who are hurled
In their coaches about, that 'twould not be amiss
If they'd just throw a little more light on the world.2

A plan for transporting half Ireland to Canada,3
Which (briefly the clever transaction to state) is
Forcing John Bull to pay high for what, any day,
N-rb-ry, bless the old wag, would do gratis.

Keeping always (said Mr. Sub. Horton) in mind,
That while we thus draw off the claims on potatoes,
We make it a point that the Pats left behind

Should get no new claimants to fill the hiatus.*

Sub. Horton then read a long letter, just come
From the Canada Paddies, to say that these elves

Have already grown 'prosp'rous'-as we are, at home—
And have e'en got a surplus,' poor devils, like ourselves!5

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WEDNESDAY.

Little doing-for sacred, oh Wednesday, thou art
To the seven o'clock joys of full many a table,-
When the Members all meet, to make much of the part,
With which they so rashly fell out, in the Fable.

It appeared, though, to-night, that—as churchwardens yearly
Eat up a small baby-those cormorant sinners,
The Bankrupt-Commissioners, bolt very nearly

A moderate-sized bankrupt, tout chaud, for their dinners !6

1 'Another objection to a metallic currency was, that it produced a greater number of highway robberies.'-Debate in the Lords.

2 Mr. Estcourt presented a petition, praying that all persons should be compelled to have lamps in their carriages.

3 Mr. W. Horton's motion on the subject of Emigration.

4 The money expended in transporting the Irish to Canada would be judiciously laid out, provided measures were taken to prevent the gap

they left in the population from being filled up again. Government had always made that a condition.'-Mr. W. Horton's Speech.

5 The hon. gentleman then read a letter, which mentioned the prosperous condition of the writer; that he had on hand a considerable surplus of corn,' etc.

6 Mr. Abercromby's statement of the enormous tavern bills of the Commissioners of Bankrupts.

Nota Bene.—A rumour to-day, in the city,
Mr. R-b-ns-n just has resigned'-what a pity!
The Bulls and the Bears all fell a-sobbing,
When they heard of the fate of poor Cock Robin,
While thus, to the nursery-tune, so pretty,
A murmuring Stock-dove breathed her ditty :-
Alas, poor Robin, he crowed as long

And as sweet as a prosperous cock could crow;
But his note was smal, and the gold-finch's song
Was a pitch too high for Poor Robin to go.

Who'll make his shroud ?
'I,' said the Bank, though he played me a prank,

While I have a rag poor Rob shall be rolled in't;
With many a pound I'll paper bim round,

Like a plump rouleau—without the gold in't.'

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A HYMN OF WELCOME AFTER | That you would e'en have taken tea THE RECESS.

(Had you been asked) with Mr.

Goundry ! * Animas sapientiores fieri quiescendo.' AND now-cross-buns and pancakes Come, wise Sir Thomas, wisest then

Come, matchless country gentlemen; o'er

When creeds and corn-laws are Hail, Lords and Gentlemen, once more !

debated !
Thrice hail and welcome, Houses Come, rival even the Harlot Red,

Twain !
The short eclipse of April-day,

And show how wholly into bread

A 'Squire is transubstantiated. Having (God grant it!) passed away,

Collective Wisdom, shine again! Come, L-e, and tell the world, Come, Ayes and Noes, through thick That-surely as thy scratch is curled, and thin,

As never scratch was curled beforeWith Paddy H-mes for whipper-in ; Cheap eating does more harm than good,

Whate'er the job, prepared to back it; And working-people spoiled by food, Come, voters of Supplies—bestowers

The less they eat, will work the more. Of jackets upon.trumpet-blowers, At eighty mortal pounds the jacket ! Come, G-lb-rn, with thy glib defence

(Which thou'dst have made for Peter's Come-free, at length, from Joint-Stock Pence)

Of Church-Rates, worthy of a Ye Senators of many Shares,

halter;Whose dreams of premium knew no Two pipes of port (old port 'twas said bound'ry;

By honest Newport) bought and paid So fond of aught like Company,

By Papists for the Orange Altar 13

cares

1 An item of expense which Mr. Hume in vain * This charge of two pipes of port for the saendeavoured to get rid of. Trumpeters, like the cramental wine is a precious specimen of the men of All-Souls, must be 'bene vestiti.'

sort of rates levied upon their Catholic follow* The gentleman lately before the public, who parishioners by the Irish Protestants. kept his Joint-stock Tea Company all to him- • The thirst that from the soul doth rise sell, sirring · Te solum adoro.'

Doth ask a drink divine.'

Come, H-rt-n, with thy plan so merry, For peopling Canada from Kerry

Not so much rendering Ireland quiet, As grafting on the dull Canadians That liveliest of earth's contagions, The bull-pock of Hibernian riot!

Come all, in short, ye wondrous men Of wit and wisdom, come again; Though short your absence, all deplore it

Oh, come and show, whate'er men say, That you can, after April-day,

Be just as-sapient as before it.

ALL IN THE FAMILY WAY.

A NEW PASTORAL BALLAD. (Sung in the character of Britannia). "The Public Debt was due from ourselves to ourselves, and resolved itself into a Family Account.'-Sir Robert Peel's Letter.

TUNE-My banks are all furnished with bees.

My banks are all furnished with rags, So thick-even Fred cannot thin 'em! I've torn up my old money bags, Having nothing worth while to put in 'em.

My tradesmen are smashing by dozens,
But this is all nothing, they say;
For bankrupts, since Adam, are cousins,
So it's all in the family way.

My Debt not a penny takes from me,
As sages the matter explain;—
Bob owes it to Tom, and then Tommy
Just owes it to Bob back again.

Since all have thus taken to owing, There's nobody left that can pay ; And this is the way to keep going, All quite in the family way.

My senators vote away inillions,
To put in Prosperity's budget;
And though it were billions or trillions,
The generous rogues wouldn't grudge
it.

'Tis all but a family hop,

Hands round-why the deuce should 'Twas Pitt began dancing the hay;

we stop?

"Tis all in the family way.

My labourers used to eat mutton,

As any great man of the state does And now the poor devils are put on

Small rations of tea and potatoes. But cheer up, John, Sawney, and Paddy, The King is your father, they say: So, even if you starve for your daddy, "Tis all in the family way.

My rich manufacturers tumble,

My poor ones have little to chew; And even if themselves do not grumble, Their stomachs undoubtedly do. But coolly to fast en famille

Is as good for the soul as to pray; And famine itself is genteel,

When one starves in a family way.

;

I have found out a secret for Freddy,
A secret for next Budget-day;
Though perhaps he may know it already;
As he, too, 's a sage in his way.
When next for the Treasury scene he
Announces 'the Devil to pay,'
Let him write on the bills-Nota bene,
"Tis all in the family way.'

THE CANONIZATION OF ST. B-TT-RW-RTH. 'A Christian of the best edition.'-Rabelais.

CANONIZE him!-yea, verily, we'll canonize him; Though Cant is his hobby, and meddling his bliss, Though sages may pity and wits may despise him, He'll ne'er make a bit the worse Saint for all this. Descend, all ye spirits that ever yet spread

The dominion of Humbug o'er land and o'er sea,

Descend on our B-tt-rw-rth's biblical head,
Thrice-Great, Bibliopolist, Saint, and M.P.!

Come, shade of Joanna, come down from thy sphere,
And bring little Shiloh-if 'tisn't too far-
Such a sight will to B-tt-rw-rth's bosom be dear,
His conceptions and thine being much on a par.

Nor blush, Saint Joanna, once more to behold
A world thou hast honoured by cheating so many
Thou'lt find still among us one Personage old,

Who also by tricks and the Seals1 inakes a penny.

Thou, too, of the Shakers, divine Mother Lee !?
Thy smiles to beatified B-tt-rw-rth deign;
Two lights of the Gentiles' art thou, Anne, and he,
One hallowing Fleet Street, and t'other Toad Lane!3

The heathen, we know, made their gods out of wood,
And saints, too, are framed of as handy materials ;—
Old women and B-tt-rw-rths make just as good
As any the Pope ever booked, as Ethereals.

Stand forth, Man of Bibles-not Mahomet's pigeon,

When, perched on the Koran, he dropped there, they say,
Strong marks of his faith, ever shed o'er religion
Such glory as B-tt-rw-rth sheds every day.

Great Galen of souls, with what vigour he crams

Down Erin's idolatrous throats, till they crack again,

Bolus on bolus, good man !—and then damns

Both their stomachs and souls, if they dare cast them back again.

Ah, well might his shop-as a type representing

The creed of himself and his sanctified clan

On its counter exhibit the Art of Tormenting,'

Bound neatly, and lettered Whole Duty of Man.'

As to politics-there, too, so strong his digestion,

Having learned from the law-books, by which he's surrounded,
To cull all that's worst on all sides of the question,
His black dose of politics thus is compounded-

The rinsing of any old Tory's dull noddle,

Made radical-hot, and then mixed with some grains
Of that gritty Scotch gabble, that virulent twaddle,
Which Murray's New Series of Blackwood contains.

A great part of the income of Joanna Southcott arose from the Seals of the Lord's protection which she sold to her followers.

2 Mrs. Anne Lee, the 'chosen vessel' of the Shakers, and Mother of all the children of regeneration.'

3 Toad Lane in Manchester, where Mother Lee was born. In her Address to Young Believers, she says that it is a matter of no importance with them from whence the means of their deliverance come, whether from a stable in Bethlehem, or from Toad Lane, Manchester.'

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