MORAL POSITIONS. A DREAM. 'His Lordship said that it took a long time for a moral position to find its way across the Atlantic. He was sorry that its voyage had been so long,' etc.-Speech of Lord Dudley and Ward on Colonial Slavery, March 8. T'OTHER night, after hearing Lord Dudley's oration (A treat that comes once in the year, as May-day does), The whole Bench of Bishops stood by, in grave attitudes, As their Reverences know, that in southerly latitudes There was B-th-st arranging the custom-house pass; Though-as to which side should lie uppermost-doubting. The freight was, however, stowed safe in the hold; Long, dolefully long, seemed the voyage we made ;- By friends, near as much as by foes, is delayed, And few come aboard her, though so many hail her. At length, safe arrived, I went through 'tare and tret'— The Captain '- -here, startled to find myself named MEMORABILIA OF LAST WEEK. MONDAY, MARCH 13. THE Budget-quite charming and witty-no hearing, What, still more prosperity!-mercy upon us, TUESDAY. Much grave apprehension expressed by the Peers, A Petition presented (well timed, after this) Throwing out a sly hint to Grandees, who are hurled A plan for transporting half Ireland to Canada,3 Keeping always (said Mr. Sub. Horton) in mind, Should get no new claimants to fill the hiatus.* Sub. Horton then read a long letter, just come Have already grown 'prosp'rous'-as we are, at home— WEDNESDAY. Little doing-for sacred, oh Wednesday, thou art It appeared, though, to-night, that—as churchwardens yearly A moderate-sized bankrupt, tout chaud, for their dinners !6 1 'Another objection to a metallic currency was, that it produced a greater number of highway robberies.'-Debate in the Lords. 2 Mr. Estcourt presented a petition, praying that all persons should be compelled to have lamps in their carriages. 3 Mr. W. Horton's motion on the subject of Emigration. 4 The money expended in transporting the Irish to Canada would be judiciously laid out, provided measures were taken to prevent the gap they left in the population from being filled up again. Government had always made that a condition.'-Mr. W. Horton's Speech. 5 The hon. gentleman then read a letter, which mentioned the prosperous condition of the writer; that he had on hand a considerable surplus of corn,' etc. 6 Mr. Abercromby's statement of the enormous tavern bills of the Commissioners of Bankrupts. Nota Bene.—A rumour to-day, in the city, And as sweet as a prosperous cock could crow; Who'll make his shroud ? While I have a rag poor Rob shall be rolled in't; Like a plump rouleau—without the gold in't.' A HYMN OF WELCOME AFTER | That you would e'en have taken tea THE RECESS. (Had you been asked) with Mr. Goundry ! * Animas sapientiores fieri quiescendo.' AND now-cross-buns and pancakes Come, wise Sir Thomas, wisest then Come, matchless country gentlemen; o'er When creeds and corn-laws are Hail, Lords and Gentlemen, once more ! debated ! Twain ! And show how wholly into bread A 'Squire is transubstantiated. Having (God grant it!) passed away, Collective Wisdom, shine again! Come, L-e, and tell the world, Come, Ayes and Noes, through thick That-surely as thy scratch is curled, and thin, As never scratch was curled beforeWith Paddy H-mes for whipper-in ; Cheap eating does more harm than good, Whate'er the job, prepared to back it; And working-people spoiled by food, Come, voters of Supplies—bestowers The less they eat, will work the more. Of jackets upon.trumpet-blowers, At eighty mortal pounds the jacket ! Come, G-lb-rn, with thy glib defence (Which thou'dst have made for Peter's Come-free, at length, from Joint-Stock Pence) Of Church-Rates, worthy of a Ye Senators of many Shares, halter;Whose dreams of premium knew no Two pipes of port (old port 'twas said bound'ry; By honest Newport) bought and paid So fond of aught like Company, By Papists for the Orange Altar 13 cares 1 An item of expense which Mr. Hume in vain * This charge of two pipes of port for the saendeavoured to get rid of. Trumpeters, like the cramental wine is a precious specimen of the men of All-Souls, must be 'bene vestiti.' sort of rates levied upon their Catholic follow* The gentleman lately before the public, who parishioners by the Irish Protestants. kept his Joint-stock Tea Company all to him- • The thirst that from the soul doth rise sell, sirring · Te solum adoro.' Doth ask a drink divine.' Come, H-rt-n, with thy plan so merry, For peopling Canada from Kerry Not so much rendering Ireland quiet, As grafting on the dull Canadians That liveliest of earth's contagions, The bull-pock of Hibernian riot! Come all, in short, ye wondrous men Of wit and wisdom, come again; Though short your absence, all deplore it Oh, come and show, whate'er men say, That you can, after April-day, Be just as-sapient as before it. ALL IN THE FAMILY WAY. A NEW PASTORAL BALLAD. (Sung in the character of Britannia). "The Public Debt was due from ourselves to ourselves, and resolved itself into a Family Account.'-Sir Robert Peel's Letter. TUNE-My banks are all furnished with bees. My banks are all furnished with rags, So thick-even Fred cannot thin 'em! I've torn up my old money bags, Having nothing worth while to put in 'em. My tradesmen are smashing by dozens, My Debt not a penny takes from me, Since all have thus taken to owing, There's nobody left that can pay ; And this is the way to keep going, All quite in the family way. My senators vote away inillions, 'Tis all but a family hop, Hands round-why the deuce should 'Twas Pitt began dancing the hay; we stop? "Tis all in the family way. My labourers used to eat mutton, As any great man of the state does And now the poor devils are put on Small rations of tea and potatoes. But cheer up, John, Sawney, and Paddy, The King is your father, they say: So, even if you starve for your daddy, "Tis all in the family way. My rich manufacturers tumble, My poor ones have little to chew; And even if themselves do not grumble, Their stomachs undoubtedly do. But coolly to fast en famille Is as good for the soul as to pray; And famine itself is genteel, When one starves in a family way. ; I have found out a secret for Freddy, THE CANONIZATION OF ST. B-TT-RW-RTH. 'A Christian of the best edition.'-Rabelais. CANONIZE him!-yea, verily, we'll canonize him; Though Cant is his hobby, and meddling his bliss, Though sages may pity and wits may despise him, He'll ne'er make a bit the worse Saint for all this. Descend, all ye spirits that ever yet spread The dominion of Humbug o'er land and o'er sea, Descend on our B-tt-rw-rth's biblical head, Come, shade of Joanna, come down from thy sphere, Nor blush, Saint Joanna, once more to behold Who also by tricks and the Seals1 inakes a penny. Thou, too, of the Shakers, divine Mother Lee !? The heathen, we know, made their gods out of wood, Stand forth, Man of Bibles-not Mahomet's pigeon, When, perched on the Koran, he dropped there, they say, Great Galen of souls, with what vigour he crams Down Erin's idolatrous throats, till they crack again, Bolus on bolus, good man !—and then damns Both their stomachs and souls, if they dare cast them back again. Ah, well might his shop-as a type representing The creed of himself and his sanctified clan On its counter exhibit the Art of Tormenting,' Bound neatly, and lettered Whole Duty of Man.' As to politics-there, too, so strong his digestion, Having learned from the law-books, by which he's surrounded, The rinsing of any old Tory's dull noddle, Made radical-hot, and then mixed with some grains A great part of the income of Joanna Southcott arose from the Seals of the Lord's protection which she sold to her followers. 2 Mrs. Anne Lee, the 'chosen vessel' of the Shakers, and Mother of all the children of regeneration.' 3 Toad Lane in Manchester, where Mother Lee was born. In her Address to Young Believers, she says that it is a matter of no importance with them from whence the means of their deliverance come, whether from a stable in Bethlehem, or from Toad Lane, Manchester.' |