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But this comes, Master Ben, of your curst foreign notions,
And (as Jim says) the only one trick, good or bad,
By the fist of my father, I blush for thee, Ben.
To show the white feather is many men's doom,
But, what of one feather?-Ben shows a whole Plume.
AN AMATORY COLLOQUY BETWEEN BANK AND GOVERNMENT,
Is all then forgotten?-those amorous pranks
You and I, in our youth, my dear Government, played
When you called me the fondest, the truest of Banks,
And enjoyed the endearing advances I made.
When left to do all, unmolested and free,
That a dashing, expensive young couple should do,
A law against paying was laid upon me,
But none against owing, dear helpmate, on you?
And is it then vanished?-that 'hour (as Othello
Even so, my beloved Mrs. Bank, it must be,
This paying in cash plays the devil with wooing—
We've both had our swing, but I plainly foresee
Even Reverend Malthus himself is a friend to;
But ours, my dear corporate Bank, there's no end to! So,-hard as it is on a pair who've already
Disposed of so many pounds, shillings, and pence ; And, in spite of that pink of prosperity, Freddy, Who'd even in famine cry, D-n the expense !'— The day is at hand, my Papyrial Venus,
When, high as we once used to carry our capers, Those soft billets-doux we're now passing between us Will serve but to keep Mrs. C-tts in curl-papers; And when-if we still must continue our love
After all that is past-our amour, it is clear (Like that which Miss Danaë managed with Jove), Must all be transacted in bullion, my dear!
ODE TO THE GODDESS CERES.
BY SIR T--S LE.
Legiferæ Cereri Phoeboque.'-Virgil.
DEAR Goddess of Corn, whom the ancients, we know (Among other odd whims of those comical bodies), Adorned with somniferous poppies, to show
Thou wert always a true Country-gentleman's Goddess!
Behold, in his best shooting-jacket, before thee,
An eloquent 'Squire, who most humbly beseeches,
"Tis now the Corn-growers, alas! that are roasted!
There's B-nth-m, whose English is all his own making,—
As he would of smoking his pipe, or of taking (What he himself calls) his post-prandial vibration."2
To distinguish her from the 'Aurea'
The venerable Jeremy's phrase for his after-dinner walk.
There are two Mr. M——s, too, whom those that like reading
In short, my dear Goddess, Old England's divided
For therein I've proved, to my own satisfaction,
And that of all 'Squires I've the honour of meeting,
On the contrary, such the chaste notions of food
That would make thee dear Goddess, less dear than thou art!
And, oh! for Monopoly what a blest day,
When the Land and the Silk shall, in fond combination,
(Like Sulky and Silky, that pair in the play),
Cry out, with one voice, for High Rents and Starvation !1
Long life to the Minister!--no matter who,
Or how dull he may be, if, with dignified spirit, he,
As for myself, who've, like Hannibal, sworn
To hate the whole crew who would take our rents from us,
That last honest Uni-corn2 would be-Sir Th―s!
DIALOGUE BETWEEN A SOVEREIGN AND A ONE-POUND NOTE,
1 Road to Ruin
'O ego non felix, quam tu fugis, ut pavet acres
SAID a Sovereign to a Note,
In the pocket of my coat,
Where they met, in a neat purse of leather,
That though I'm wedded with thee,
allusion to the natural history of the unicorn,
Dicta Fames Cereris (quamvis contraria which is supposed to be something between the
Illius est operi) peragit.-Ovid.
Bos and the Asinus, and, as Rees clopædia tells us, has a particular liking for anything
2 This is meant not so much for a pun, as in chaste.
Like your sex, fond of change,
With silver you can range,
While with me on my word,
Not my Lady and my Lord
The indignaut Note replied
(Lying crumpled by his side),
One cannot look askance,
But, whip! you're off to France,
* Your scampering began
From the moment Parson Van,
“ For better or for worse
Is the usual marriage curse :
• In vain are laws passed,
There's nothing holds you fast,
At the smallest hint in life,
You forsake your lawful wife,
'I flirt with Silver, true
But what can ladies do,
And as to falsehood, stuff!
I shall soon be false enough,
The Sovereign, smiling on her,
Now swore, upon his honour,
But, within an hour or two,
Why-I sold him to a Jew,
AN EXPOSTULATION TO LORD KING.
Quem das finem, Rex magne, laborum ?'—Virgil.
The Peers of the realm about cheapening their corn,
'Tis hardly worth while being very high born!
i See the proceedings of the Lords, Wednesday, March 1, when Lord King was severely reproved by several of the noble Peers for making so many speeches against the Corn Laws.
Why bore them so rudely, each night of your life,
As to weavers, no matter how poorly they feast,
You might see, my dear Baron, how bored and distrest
Bright Peer! to whom Nature and Berwickshire gave
And then, those unfortunate weavers of Perth
Not to know the vast difference Providence dooms
"Twixt those who have heir-looms, and those who've but looms
To talk now of starving, as great At-1 said2
(And the nobles all cheered, and the bishops all wondered) When, some years ago, he and others had fed
Of these same hungry devils about fifteen hundred ?
It follows from hence-and the Duke's very words
Should be published wherever poor rogues of this craft are
When Rome was uproarious, her knowing patricians
'No Bread and the Tread-mill's' the regimen now.
So cease, my dear Baron of Ockham, your prose,
1 This noble Earl said, that when he heard the petition came from ladies' boot and shoe makers, he thought it must be against "the corns which they inflicted on the fair sex."'
2 The Duke of Athol said, that at a former period, when these weavers were in great dis
tress, the landed interest of Perth had supported 1500 of them. It was a poor return for these very men now to petition against the persons who had fed them.'
3 An improvement, we flatter ourselves, on Lord L.'s joke.