SER. III. ing Trifles with them: The Reason of which

is, that, though they are Trifles in themfelves, and appear fo to every indifferent Perfon; yet the Warmth of Paffion in the Party concerned magnifies them into fubftantial Injuries.

6thly, Guard against Pride, from which cometh Contention. Perfons of Senfe and Virtue will feldom differ about Things, that are plainly essential to the Happiness of the Family: The greatest Danger is, that they should difagree about Trifles, where cach will think they cannot give up the Point without yielding the other the Superiority: And the Difagreement is often the sharpeft where the Difference is the fmalleft. Do not imagine that every Perfon must exactly adjust their Temper to yours in every Point, fo as to be your exact Counterpart. If Men recede in fome Particulars from their own Inclinations to comply with those of others, there is fome Prospect, that Differences may be adjufted, and a good Understanding kept up: like irregular Stones, that must have their Unevenneffes filed off, and their rough Corners fmoothed; before they can come together, and join to make a compact Building, where there fhall be Harmony

Harmony and Symmetry of Parts.

There SERM. III.

is but one Being, whofe Will we ought to fubmit to intirely and unreservedly; and His Will is perfect unallayed Reafon without the leaft Mixture of Caprice or Humour. Vain is all Strife for Superiority, where the only Strife fhould be, which should oblige each other the moft; and the only Power, that fhould be lodged in any Person, should be, a greater Power of doing good. Never ftrive to gain an abfolute Sway over any Thing, but your own Paffions.

Be not afhamed to confefs, you have been in the wrong. It is but owning, what you need not be afhamed of; that you now have more Senfe, than you had before, to Jee your Error, more Humility, to acknowledge it, and more Grace to correct it. We double the greatest Part of our Faults, by the Excuses, which we make use of to juftify them: Excufes, which are a kind of Patches, when a Rent is made; far more unfeemly and mifbecoming, than the Rentitself. It is a Sign, a Man is generally in the Right, who has the Ingenuity to own himself sometimes in the Wrong; that he is one of those, whofe Fund of ReputatiF

on

SERM.III on is fo great, he is not afraid of impover

ishing it, by taking or lofing a little from it *: Whereas thofe, whofe Stock of Credit and Esteem is very inconfiderable, care not to own any Thing at the Expence of it. Obferve, what Sin most easily befets you, whether it be Morofenefs, Pride, Paffion, Covetoufness, &c. and place there the strongest Guard, where your Nature is weakeft. Few Perfons have more than one predominant great Vice: Nature has guarded them very well in other Respects; here they must take Care to guard themfelves. Particularly guard against any Inequality of Temper: For no Man can have a true Sweetness of Temper, without Steadiness and a fedate Way of Thinking: They that seem to have it, have only, as one observes, a certain Easiness, that quickly turns peevish and four. Yet, when our Affections begin to fall off, and cool gradually and infenfi bly towards any Perfon; we are apt to imagine His are abating toward us. Just as the Land feems to Voyagers in a Ship to be

De futuris fe deceptum effe Hippocrates memoriæ prodidit, more magnorum virorum, et fiduciam magnarum rerum habentium. Nam levia ingenia, quia nihil habent, nihil fibi detrahunt. Magno ingenio, multaque nihilominus habituro, convenit etiam veri erroris confeffio. 1. 8. Cap. 4.

Celfus.

re

retiring from them, when they are retir- SERM.III. ing from the Land.

of

7thly, Take care to distinguish between a Perfon's general standing Sentiments of you, when he is perfectly calm and undif turbed; and his occafional Sentiments, when fome cross Accident may have foured his Temper. Confider, what he is for a Conftancy towards you; and not what he may be now and then, when his Spirits are ruffled and over heated. Unkindly Thoughts us, which vent themselves in unfriendly Expreffions, may be only occafional Vifitants, which tarry but an Hour; whereas tender and endearing Ideas may be the conftant Inhabitants of his Mind. You must reflect that there is no fuch Thing as maintaining a friendly Intercourse, without overlooking Things of this Nature, He who thinks he has difcharged every Duty without any Failure in Point of Kindness and Friendliness to his Domestics, has forgotten one Duty refpecting himself, that of felf Examination. For the leaft Reflection upon himself will ferve to thew, that he has fometimes faid Things, that had better been left unfaid; that he has been. out Humour, when there was not a fufficient F 2

of

Reafon

SERM.III. Reafon for his being fo; and has

gone too

far, when there was. A wife and a good Man will therefore make proper Allowances, and think, that as a generous Enemy may fometimes through a Flush of good Humour fay an handsom Thing in our Behalf, and deviate into Praife; fo a firm Friend, through a Surprize of ill Humour; may let fall a difobliging Expreffion. And whereas an hafty Temper is immediately for proceeding to Extremities; a prudent Man goes more leifurely to Work, and advises a Friend, perhaps he has not faid what has been reported; and if he have, that he speak it no more. And indeed, without fuch a Procedure, all Friendships would be precarious; they would lie at the Mercy of thofe, who were malicious enough to do us an ill Office.

But above all, laftly, Religion is absolutely neceffary to preferve domeftic Union. For Families are but little Societies, as Societies are larger Families; and therefore Religion, which is confeffedly the best Bond and Cement of Union in States and larger Communities, is likewife fo in little domestic Governments: And Family Prayer is as much a Duty in this smaller Sphere

of