Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee;

And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
And golden times, and happy news of price.

Fal. I pray thee, now, deliver them like a man of this world.

Pist. A foutra for the world and worldlings base! I speak of Africa and golden joys.

Fal. O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news? Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.

Sil. And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.

Pist. Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?

And shall good news be baffled?

Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.

[Singing.

Shal. Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
Pist. Why, then, lament therefore.

Shal. Give me pardon, sir: — if, sir, you come with news from the court, I take it there 's but two ways, either to utter them, or to conceal them. I am, sir, under the king, in some authority.

Pist. Under which king, besonian? speak, or die.
Shal. Under King Harry.

Pist.

Shal. Harry the Fourth.
Pist.

Harry the Fourth? or Fifth?

Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king;
Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth:
When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.

Fal. What, is the old king dead?

Pist. As nail in door: the things I speak are just. Fal. Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities. Bard. O joyful day!

-

I would not take a knighthood for my

fortune.

Pist. What, I do bring good news?

Master Shallow, my

--

Fal. Carry Master Silence to bed. Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt; I am fortune's steward. Get on thy boots: we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph! [Exit Bard.] - Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and, withal, devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow: I know the young king is sick for me. Let us take any man's horses; the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed are they that have been my friends; and woe to my lord chief-justice!

Pist. Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also! "Where is the life that late I led?" say they: Why, here it is; - welcome this pleasant day!

SCENE IV. London. A street.

[Exeunt.

Enter Beadles, dragging in Hostess and DOLL Tearsheet. Host. No, thou arrant knave; I would to God that I might die, that I might have thee hanged: thou hast drawn my shoulder out of joint.

First Bead. The constables have delivered her over to me; and she shall have whipping-cheer enough, I warrant her: there hath been a man or two lately killed about her.

Dol. Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie. Come on; I'll tell thee what, thou damned tripe-visaged rascal, an the child I go with do miscarry, thou wert better thou hadst struck thy mother, thou paper-faced villain.

Host. O the Lord, that Sir John were come! he would make this a bloody day to somebody. But I pray God the fruit of her womb miscarry!

First Bead. If it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions again; you have but eleven now. Come, I charge you both go with me; for the man is dead that you and Pistol beat

among you.

Dol. I'll tell thee what, thou thin man in a censer, I will have you as soundly swinged for this, you blue-bottle rogue, you filthy famished correctioner, if you be not swinged, I'll forswear half-kirtles.

First Bead. Come, come, you she knight-errant, come. Host. O God, that right should thus overcome might! Well, of sufferance comes ease.

Dol. Come, you rogue, come; bring me to a justice.
Host. Ay, come, you starved bloodhound.

Dol. Goodman death, goodman bones!
Host. Thou atomy, thou!

Dol. Come, you thin thing; come, you rascal.

First Bead. Very well.

[Exeunt.

SCENE V. A public place near Westminster Abbey.

Enter three Grooms, strewing rushes.

First Groom. More rushes, more rushes.

Sec. Groom. The trumpets have sounded twice. Third Groom. "Twill be two o'clock ere they come from the coronation.

First Groom. Dispatch, dispatch.

[Exeunt.

Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and the Page. Fal. Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow; I will make the king do you grace: I will leer upon him as 'a comes by; and do but mark the countenance that he will give me.

Pist. God bless thy lungs, good knight.

Fal. Come here, Pistol; stand behind me! -[To Shallow] O, if I had had time to have made new liveries, I would have bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of you. But 'tis no matter; this poor show doth better: this doth infer the zeal I had to see him;

Shal. It doth so.

Fal. It shows my earnestness of affection,

Shal. It doth so.

Fal. My devotion,

Shal. It doth, it doth, it doth.

Fal. As it were, to ride day and night; and not to deliberate, not to remember, not to have patience to shift me, Shal. It is most certain.

Fal. But to stand stained with travel, and sweating with desire to see him; thinking of nothing else, putting all affairs else in oblivion, as if there were nothing else to be done but to see him.

Pist. 'Tis semper idem, for absque hoc nihil est: 'tis all in every part.

Shal. 'Tis so, indeed.

Pist. My knight, I will inflame thy noble liver,

And make thee rage.

Thy Doll, and Helen of thy noble thoughts,
Is in base durance and contagious prison;
Hal'd thither

By most mechanical and dirty hand:

Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto's snake, For Doll is in. Pistol speaks naught but truth.

Fal. I will deliver her.

[Shouts within, and the trumpets sound. Pist. There roar'd the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.

Enter the King and his Train, the Lord Chief-Justice among them.

Fal. God save thy grace, King Hal! my royal Hal!
Pist. The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp
of fame!

Fal. God save thee, my sweet boy!

King. My lord chief-justice, speak to that vain man.
Ch. Just. Have you your wits? know you what 'tis you
speak?

Fal.

My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
King. I know thee not, old man: fall to thy prayers;
How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!

I have long dream'd of such a kind of man,
So surfeit-swell'd, so old, and so profane;
But, being awake, I do despise my dream.
Make less thy body, hence, and more thy grace;
Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape
For thee thrice wider than for other men.

Reply not to me with a fool-born jest:
Presume not that I am the thing I was;

For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,
That I have turn'd away my former self;
So will I those that kept me company.
When thou dost hear I am as I have been,
Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
The tutor and the feeder of my riots:
Till then, I banish thee, on pain of death,
As I have done the rest of my misleaders,
Not to come near our person by ten mile.
For competence of life I will allow you,
That lack of means enforce you not to evil:
And, as we hear you do reform yourselves,

We will, according to your strength and qualities,
Give you advancement. - Be 't your charge, my lord,

To see perform'd the tenour of our word.
Set on.

[Exeunt King and his Train. Fal. Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pound. Shal. Yea, marry, Sir John; which I beseech you to let me have home with me.

Fal. That can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not you grieve at this; I shall be sent for in private to him: look you, he must seem thus to the world: fear not your advancement; I will be the man yet that shall make you great.

Shal. I cannot perceive how, unless you give me your doublet, and stuff me out with straw. I beseech you, good Sir John, let me have five hundred of my thousand.

Fal. Sir, I will be as good as my word: this that you heard was but a colour.

come,

Shal. A colour, I fear, that you will die in, Sir John. Fal. Fear no colours: go with me to dinner: Lieutenant Pistol; - come, Bardolph: - I shall be sent for soon at night.

Re-enter Prince JOHN, the Lord Chief-Justice, Officers, &c. Ch. Just. Go, carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet; Take all his company along with him.