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rules, that she was sure to save cent. per cent. in every article. The consequence of this was, that our chickens, being fed with rye instead of barley and wheat, died of the pip; our turkies were crammed with bran and butter-milk, to save the expence of corn, and were most of them carried off by a looseness; our geese were fatted with acorns instead of oats, and were as poor as their plucked brethren in the fens of Lincolnshire. Our hogs cost us nothing in a manner for their keeping, as they lived upon turnip-parings and cabbage-stalks, pease and bean-shells, scalded crab-apples, and bull's blood and liver; in consequence of which our bacon was rancid, and our pork meazly. We had two cows for the use of our dairy; but the very first winter being fed for cheapness with nothing but collart leaves and chopt straw, they gave no milk for half the year, and at last died of the distemper among the horned cattle. Even our poor mare, which used to run in the chaise, fared no better than the miller's horse, as she was kept chiefly upon bran, and very seldom indul. ged with the luxury of oats and beans; so that the poor creature, after a journey somewhat harder than usual, dropt down dead between the shafts. We had scarce better luck in the management of our garden: for though my wife prided herself on her notable skill in these matters, our fruit-trees could never be brought to bear; and when cucumbers were to be had for a penny a dozen, and pease for a groat a peck, we had the pleasure of gathering them fresh from our own garden, after they had stood us in more than ten times their value in the raising.

Among her other housewifely accomplishments, my wife was possessed of the original receipts of her grandmother for all sorts of made wines, which nobody could distinguish from those of a foreign growth. She therefore set about making a large quantity of Port and Claret from elder-berries, and Mountain and Fron

tiniac from raisins and brown sugar: but when these had been kept to a proper age, and were fit to be drank, we had this only consolation, that they were the best vinegar that could be used for our pickles. Our October, which she contrives to brew with as much bran as malt, and mugwort instead of hops, grew dead in the casks, before it had sufficiently fermented; and when we had bottled it off, it burst above twenty dozen bottles, and the remainder was sour. My wife also bought a still, with it's whole apparatus, that she might make Plague and Hysteric Water, for her own use, and to give away among her poor neighbours: but at one time the head of the still flew off, and laid her under the surgeon's hands for three months; and at another, it took fire, and had like to have burnt the house down. To this account I should likewise set down the charge of our apothecary's shop, in preparing ointments for scalds, salves for burns, and other family medicines; in all which I know to my cost, the old saying was inverted, and we lost eleven pence out of a shilling.

You must know, Sir, that (besides her domestic economy) my provident dear is a most passionate admirer of a pennyworth in any shape; and is one of those prudent good ladies, who will purchase any thing, of which they have no need, merely because they can have it a bargain. It would be doing much service to many other poor gentlemen as well as to me, if you could convince these thrifty females, that to purchase useless commodities at any price, can never be good housewifery, and that however nearly they may drive their bargains, there is just so much money flung away, as the purchase costs. We have as much linen by us as would set up a piece-broker, which my wife has purchased under prime cost of the Scotch pedlars, that came to our door; and I am sure we have cast-off clothes sufficient to furnish a sale-shop, which

she has bought of ladies' maids for a mere trifle. She is a frequent customer to pretended smugglers, that whisper in your ear, and offer you right India handkerchiefs made at Spitalfields. But above all, she constantly attends the several Auctions of the Stock in Trade of eminent Tradesmen, that were never heard of, and the household furniture, plate, china, &c. of Baronets and Squires, that never existed but in the brain of the Auctioneer. Here she meets with such excellent pennyworths, that, as my pantry is stored with more provisions than we can dispense with, every room in my house is crammed up with useless beds, tables, chests of drawers, curiosities, peruke-pated beaux and fine ladies (beauties of their times) that are good for nothing but to hide the bare walls of a garret. In short, Sir, unless you can prevail with her to forego the wonderful advantages of making such exquisite purchases, as (she says) all the world would jump at, I shall very soon be quite a beggar: for if she goes on at this rate buying things for nothing, as she calls it, I shall shortly have nothing to buy withal.

As these valuable purchases are daily multiplying upon my hands, and as my house is become a repository for the refuse of sales and auctions, the only method I can think of at present to get rid of them, is to make an auction myself. For this purpose I have drawn out a catalogue; and have sent you the following specimen, that by it you may judge of the rest of my curiosities.

CATALOGUE

OF THE CHOICE AND VALUABLE

EFFECTS OF MR. ****

LEAVING OFF HOUSEKEEPING.

TO BE SOLD BY AUCTION.

In the First Day's Sale (among other Particulars equally curious) will be included

A whole sheet print of King Charles on horseback, by Mr. Henry Overton, finely coloured.

Mary Queen of Scots, by the same master, done after the life, and painted upon glass; the right eye cracked, and the nose a little scratched.

A capital picture of Adam and Eve in cross-stitch. Noah's Ark, in tent-stitch, it's companion.

Fair Rosamond's Bower, in Nun's work, by the same hand.

A lively representation of Chevy Chase, in lignum vitæ, rose wood, and mother of pearl, curiously

inlaid.

Several lesser pieces of birds, beasts, fruits, and flowers; copied from nature in coloured silks, stained feathers, and painted straw.

Merlin's Cave, in shell work; composed of above a thousand beautiful shells, with a cascade of looking-glass playing in the middle.

A most curious Tea-table of rare old japan; with the edges broke off, and one of the legs standing. A most rare and inestimable collection of right old china; consisting of half a punch-bowl, three parts of a dish, half a dozen plates joined together with wires drilled through their middles a sugar-dish

with a piece broke off the side, a tea-pot without a spout, another without a handle, and five odd cups and saucers, the cracks neatly joined with white paint.

Some large and elegant jars and vases in papier macheè, Several figures of dogs, monkeys, cats, parrots, mandarins, and bramins, of the Chelsea and Bow manufactory.

To which will be added,

A small, but well chosen

COLLECTION

OF

MODERN BOOKS;

CONSISTING OF

Pope's Works, and all our best authors-published in ink-stands, tea-chests and quadrille-boxes for fishes and counters.

Miss in her Teens The Fool in Fashion-All for Love-The Way to win him-She would if she could-Much Ado about Nothing-bound together, for the use of the fair sex, in a complete set of dressing boxes.

A new form of Self Examination-in a snuff-box with a looking-glass in the lid of it.

The Spiritual Comfort, or Companion for the Closetin a small pocket volume, containing a bottle of cordial water,

The Posthumous Works of Lord Viscount Bolingbroke -in a close-stool.

I am, Sir, your humble servant &c.

T

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