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Thursday, Oct. 1. I endeavoured again to do something by way of writing, but soon found my powers of body and mind utterly fail. Did not feel so happy as when I was able to do something that I hoped would do some good. In the evening, was discomposed and wholly delirious; but it was not long before God was pleased to give me some sleep, and fully composed my mind. Blessed be God for his great goodness to me, since I was so low at Mr Bromfield's, on Thursday, June 18. He: has, except those few minutes, given me the clear exercise of my reason, and enabled me to labour inuch for him, in things both of a public and private nature, and perhaps to do more good than I should have done if I had been well. He has also been pleased to refresh my soul with the comfortable influences of his blessed Spirit. May his name have all the glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Friday, Oct. 2. My soul was this day sweetly set on God, I longed to be with him, that I might behold his glory. I could commit all to him, even my dearest friends, my dearest flock, my absent brother, and all my concerns for time and eternity. Oh that his kingdom might come, that all might love and glorify him, for what he is in himself; and that the blessed Redeemer might see of the travail of his soul, and be satisfied! Oh, come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen. +
[The next evening, we very much expected his brother, John from New-Jersey, it being about a week after the time he proposed to return. And though our expectations were still disappointed, yet Mr Brainerd seemed to continue unmoved, in the same calm and peaceful frame before manifested ; as having resigned all to God, and having done with his friends, and with all things here below.
On the morning of the next day, being Lord’s day, October 4, as my daughter Jerusha (who chiefly tended
*From this time forward, he had the free use of his reason till the day before his death ; excepting that at times he appeared a little lost for a moment, at first waking out of sleep.
+ Here ends his Diary: these are the last words that are written in it, either by his own hand, or by any other from his mouth.
him) came into the room, he looked on her very pleasantly, and said, “ Dear Jerusha, are you willing to part with me ?-I am quite willing to part with you : I am willing to part with all my friends : I am willing to part with my dear brother John, although I love him the best of any creature living. I have committed him and all my friends to God, and can leave them with him. Though, if I thought I should not see you, and be bappy with you in another world, I could not bear to part with you. But we shall spend a happy eternity together. In the evening, as one came into the room with a Bible in her hand, he expressed himself thus; “ Oh that dear book; that lovely book ! I shall soon see it opened the mysteries that are in it, and the mysteries of God's providence, will be all unfolded.”
His distemper now very apparently preyed on his vi. tals, not by a sudden breaking of ulcers in his lungs, as at Boston, but by a constant discharge of purulent matter in great quantities ; so that what he brought up by expectoration seemed to be as it were mouthfuls of almost clear pus, attended with great inward pain and distress.
On Thursday, Oct. 6, he lay for a considerable time as if he were dying. He was then heard to útter in broken
whispers, such expressions as these : “ He will come, he will not tarry-I shall soon be in glory--I shall soon glorify God with the angels. -But after some time he revived.
The next day, Wednesday, Oct. 7, his brother John arrived, being returned from New-Jersey; where he had been detained much longer than he intended, by a mor. tal sickness prevailing among the Christian Indians, and by some other things in their circumstances that made his stay with them necessary. Mr Brainerd was affected and refreshed with seeing him, and appeared fully satisfied with the reasons of his delay ; seeing the interest of religion and of the souls of his people required it.
The next day, Thursday, Oct. 8, he was in great distress and agonies of body; and for the greater part of the day, was much disordered as to the exercise of his
In the evening he was more composed, and had the use of his reason well; but the pain of his body continued and increased. He told me it was impossible for any one to conceive of the distress he felt in his breast. He manifested much concern lest he should dishonour God by impatience, under his extreme agony ;
which was such, that he said, the thought of enduring it one minute longer was almost insupportable. He desired that others would be much in lifting up their hearts continually to God for him, that he would support him and give him patience. He signified that he expected to die that night, but seemed to fear a longer delay; and the disposition of his mind with regard to his death appeared still the same as it had been all along. And notwithstanding his bodily agonies, yet the interest of Zion lay still with great weight on his mind; as appeared by some considerable discourse he had that evening with the Rev. ? Mr Billing, one of the neighbouring ministers, (who was then present,) concerning the great importance of the work of the ministry, &c. Afterwards, very late at night, he had much profitable discourse witla his brother John, concerning his congregation in New-Jersey, and the interest of religion among the Indians. In the latter part of the night, his bodily distress seemed to rise to a greater
height than ever; and he said to those then about him, that “it was another thing to die, than people imagined,' explaining himself to mean that they were not aware what bodily pain and anguish is undergone before death. Towards day, his eyes fixed; and he continued lying immoveable, till about six o'clock in the morning, and then expired on Friday, October 9, 1747, when his soul, as we may well conclude, was received by his dear Lord and Master, as an eminently faithful servant, into that state of perfection of holiness and fruition of God, which he had so often and so ardently longed for; and was welcomed by the glorious assembly in the upper world, as one peculiarly fitted to join them in their blessed employments and enjoyments.
Much respect was shewn to liis memory at his funeral ; which was on the Monday following, after a sermon preached the same day, on that solemn occasion. His funeral was attended by eight of the neighbouring ministers, and seventeen other gentlemen of liberal education, and a great concourse of people.]
REMAINS OF THE REV. D. BRAINERD.
1.-Scheme of a Dialogue between the various powers and
affections of the pious mind. [Mentioned in his Diary,
Feb. 3. 1744.] 1. The understanding introduced, (i.) As discovering its own excellency, and capacity of enjoying the most sublime pleasure and happiness. (2.) As observing its desire equal to its capacity, and incapable of being satisfied with any thing that will not fill it in the utmost extent of its exercise. (3.) As finding itself dependent, not self-sufficient; and consequently unable to spin happiness (as the spider spins its web) out of its own bowels.
This self-sufficiency observed to be the property and prerogative of God alone, and not belonging to any created being. (4.) As in vain seeking sublime pleasure, satisfaction, and happiness adequate to its nature, amongst created beings. The search and knowledge of the truth in the natural world allowed indeed to be refreshing to the mind, but still failing to afford complete happiness. (5.) As discovering the excellency and glory of God, that he is the fountain of goodness, and well-spring of happiness, and every way fit to answer the enlarged desires and cravings of our immortal souls.
2. The will introduced, as necessarily, yet freely choosing this God for its supreme happiness and only portion, fully complying with the dictates of the understanding, acquiescing in God as the best good, his will as the best rule for intelligent creatures, and rejoicing that he is in every respect just what he is; and withal choosing and delighting to be a dependent creature, always subject to this God, not aspiring after self-sufficiency and supremacy, but acquiescing in the contrary.
3. Ardent love or desire introduced, as passionately longing to please and glorify the divine Being, to be in every respect conformed to him, and in that way to enjoy him. This love or desire represented as most genuine; not induced by mean and mercenary views; not primarily springing from selfish hopes of salvation, whereby the divine glories would be sacrificed to the idol self; not arising from a slavish fear of divine anger in case of neglect, nor yet from hopes of feeling the sweetness of that tender and pleasant passion of love in one's own breast, but from a just esteem of the beauteous object beloved. This love further represented, as attended with vehement longings after the enjoyment of its object, but unable to find by what means.
4. The understanding again introduced, as informing, (1.) How God might have been enjoyed, yea, how he must necessarily have been enjoyed, had not man sinned against him ; that as there was knowledge, likeness, and love, so there must needs be enjoyment, while there was no impediment. (2.) How he may be enjoyed in some