either strangled me, or threw me into a straining to vomit. Oh the distress of this evening. I had little expectation of living the night through, nor indeed had any about me; and I longed for the finishing moment. —I was obliged to repair to bed by six o'clock; and through mercy enjoyed some rest, but was grievously distressed at turns with the hiccough.-My soul breathed after God, while the watcher was with me. When shall I come to God, even to God my exceeding joy? Oh for his blessed likeness.

Friday, Sep. 25. I was unspeakably weak, and little better than speechless all the day: however, I was able to write a little, and felt comfortably some part of the day. It refreshed my soul to think of former things, of desires to glorify God, of the pleasures of living to him. "Oh my dear God, I am speedily coming to thee, I hope. Hasten the day, oh Lord, if it be thy blessed will. Oh come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen. *??

Saturday, Sep. 26. I felt the sweetness of divine things this forenoon, and had a consciousness that I was doing something for God.

Lord's day, Sep. 27. This was a very comfortable day to my soul; I think, I awoke with God. I was enabled to lift up my soul to him, early this morning; and while I had little bodily strength, I found freedom to lift up my heart to God for myself and others. Afterwards, was pleased with the thoughts of speedily entering into the unseen world.

[Early this morning, as one of the family came into the room, he expressed himself thus: "I have had more pleasure this morning, than all the drunkards in the world enjoy, if it were all extracted." So much did he esteem the joy of faith above the pleasures of sin.

He felt that morning an unusual appetite to food, with which his mind seemed to be exhilarated, looking on it as a sign of the very near approach of death.

He re

*This was the last that he ever wrote in his Diary with his own hand; though it is continued a little farther in a broken manner; written by his brother Israel, but indited by his mouth in this weak and dying state.

marked, "I was born on a Sabbath day, and have reason to think I was new-born on a Sabbath day, and hope I shall die on this Sabbath day. I shall look upon it as a favour, if it may be the will of God that it should be so: I long for the time. Oh "why is his chariot so long in coming; why tarry the wheels of his chariot ?" I am very willing to part with all: I am willing to part with my dear brother John, and never to see him again, to go to be for ever with the Lord. * Oh when I go there, how will God's dear church on earth be upon my mind!"

Afterwards, the same morning, being asked how he did; he answered, "I am almost in eternity: I long to be there. My work is done: I have done with all my friends: all the world is nothing to me. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorifying God with the holy angels: all my desire is to glorify God."

During the whole of the last two weeks of his life, he seemed to continue in this frame; loose from all the world, as having done his work, and done with all things here below; having nothing to do but to die, and abiding in an earnest desire and expectation of the happy moment, when his soul should take its flight, and go to a state of absolute perfection. He said, "That the consideration of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had a long time been peculiarly sweet to him." He frequently spake of his being willing to leave the body and the world immediately, that day, that night, and that moment, if it was the will of God. He also expressed his longings that the church of Christ on earth might flourish, and that his kingdom might be advanced, notwithstanding he was about to leave the earth, and should not with his eyes behold the desirable event, nor be instrumental in promoting it. He said to me one morning as I came into the room,“ My thoughts have been employed on

He had before this expressed a desire, if it might be the will of God, to live till his brother returned from New-Jersey; who, when he went away, intended if possible to perform his journey, and return in a fortnight; hoping once more to meet his brother in the land of the living. The fortnight was now nearly expired, it ended the next day.

the old dear theme, the prosperity of God's church on earth. As I waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God's Spirit, and the advancement of Christ's kingdom, which the dear Redeemer did and suffered so much for. It is that especially makes me long for it." He expressed much hope that a glorious advancement of Christ's kingdom was near at hand.

He once told me that "he had formerly longed for the out-pouring of the Spirit of God, and the glorious times of the church, and hoped they were coming; and should have been willing to have lived to promote religion at that time, if that had been the will of God; but, says he, I am willing it should be as it is. I would not have the choice to make for myself, for ten thousand worlds." He expressed on his death-bed a full persuasion that he should in heaven see the prosperity of the church on earth, and should rejoice with Christ therein; and the consideration of it seemed to be highly pleasing and satisfying to his mind.

He also still dwelt much on the great importance of the work of ministers of the gospel; and expressed his longings, that they might be filled with the Spirit of God." He manifested much desire to see some of the neighbouring ministers, with whom he was acquainted, and whose sincere friendship he enjoyed, that he might converse freely with them on that subject before he died. And it so happened that he had opportunity with some of them, according to his desire.

Another thing that lay much on his heart, and which he often mentioned in these near approaches of death, was, the spiritual prosperity of his own congregation of Christian Indians in New-Jersey. When he spake of them, it was with peculiar tenderness; so that his speech would be presently interrupted and drowned with tears..

He also expressed much satisfaction in the disposals of Providence, with regard to the circumstances of his death; particularly that God had before his death given him the opportunity he had had at Boston, with so many considerable persons, ministers and others, to give in his testimony for God, and against false religion, and many

mistakes that lead to it and promote it; and there to lay before pious and charitable gentlemen, the state of the Indians, and their necessities, to so good effect. Also that God had since given him opportunity to write to them further concerning these affairs, and to write other letters of importance, which he hoped might have some influence on the state of religion among the Indians and elsewhere, after his death. He expressed great thankfulness to God for his mercy in these things. He also mentioned it as what he accounted a merciful circumstance of his death, that he should die here.* Speaking of these things, he said, "God had granted him all his desire;" and signified that now he could with the greater alacrity leave the world.]

Monday, Sep. 28. I was able to read, and make some few corrections in my private writings; but found I could not write as I had done. I felt myself sensibly declined in all respects. It has been only from a little while before noon till about one or two o'clock, that I have been able to do any thing for some time past; yet it refreshed me that I could do any thing, either public or private, that I hoped was for God.

[This evening he was supposed to be dying: he thought so himself, and was thought so by those who were about him. He seemed glad at the appearance of the near approach of death. He was almost speechless, but his lips appeared to move. One that sat very near him, heard him utter such expressions as these: "Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly.-Oh, why is his chariot so long in coming!" After he revived, he blamed himself for having been too eager to be gone. And in expressing the state

*The Editor takes leave to make the remark, that when Mr Brainerd was at Boston, sick nigh unto death, it was with reluctance he thought of dying in a place where funerals are often attended with pomp and show, which (especially on occasion of his own) he was very averse to. And though it was with some difficulty he got his mind reconciled to the prospect then before him, yet at last he was brought to acquiesce in the divine will, with respect to this circumstance of his departure. However, it pleased God to order the event so as to gratify his desire, which he had expressed of getting back to Northampton with a view particularly to a more silent and private burial.

of his mind at that time, he said, he then found an inexpressible love to those whom he looked upon as belonging to Christ, beyond almost all that he ever felt before. To use his own words, " it seemed like a little piece of heaven to have one of them near him." Being asked whether he heard the prayer that was offered at his desire, he said, "Yes, he heard every word, and had an uncommon sense of the things that were uttered in that prayer, and that every word reached his heart."

On the evening of Tuesday, Sep. 29, as he lay in his bed, he seemed to be in an extraordinary frame; his mind greatly engaged in meditations concerning the prosperity of Zion. Two young gentlemen of his acquaintance being present at that time, who were candidates for the Ministry, he desired us all to unite in singing a Psalm on that subject, even Zion's prosperity. At his desire we sung a part of the 102nd Psalm. This seemed much to refresh and revive him, and gave him new strength. Though before he could scarcely speak at all, he now proceeded, with some freedom of speech, to give his dying counsels to those two young gentlemen forementioned, relative to their preparation for, and prosecution of the work of the ministry for which they were designed; and in particular, earnestly recommended to them frequent secret fasting and prayer. He enforced his counsel with regard to this, from his own experience of the great comfort and benefit of it; which (said he) I should not mention, were it not that I am a dying person. After he had finished his counsel, he prayed in the audience of us all; making supplication for this family, for his brethren, and those candidates for the ministry, and for his own congregation, more especially for the reviving and flourishing of religion in the world.

Till now, he had sat up part of every day; but after this he never rose from his bed.]

Wednesday, Sep. 30. I was obliged to keep my bed the whole day, through weakness. However, I redeemed a little time, and with the help of my brother, read and corrected about a dozen pages in my manuscript, giving an account of my conversion.