VER! 99 'O' cried Mr. PUNCH, removing his sailor cap aud mopping his manly brow, moist with sea-spray, and the perspiration produced by many Jubilee toasts and much loyal shouting. "Fancy you 're playing umpire at a new game of naval cricket?" queried NEPTUNE, with a nautical wink. 66 Nay, NEP," answered the smiling Sage. "I'm universal umpire at all known games, from croquet to the kriegsspiel. But cricket on your green sea-fields, old tarry-breeks, has got to be invented. I merely meant that the great Naval Review of June, 1897, is over.' "Humph!" muttered NEPTUNE. "Your Armstrongs-aptest of names !-might provide excellent ball-practice for an Eleven of Titans, captained by a HYPERION-GRACE, with an OCEANUS-RICHARDSON for chief trundler." "But "That would be a novel Titanomachia, mustered to make a British Bank Holiday!" responded Mr. PUNCH. the one we have seen to-day, though our armour-clad Titans have only been like Leviathans at play, or Cyclops in rehearsal, hath been splendid, pregnant with immense possibilities, and calculated to astonish the Hecatoncheires themselves." "Verily," said NEPTUNE," the hundred-handed warders of the vanquished Titans never witnessed such wonders as the Diamond Jubilee Naval Review, of which we have just been sympathetic and admiring spectators. My own favourite modern Titanide, BRITANNIA, has bettered her instructions, and beaten her ancient prototypes, THIA, THEMIS, and TETHYS, hollow." "Ah, here is the greatest of the modern Uranidæ !" said Mr. PUNCH, warned by the barking of that genuine sea-dog, TOBIAS, of the approach of BRITANNIA herself, in her strong, deftly-fashioned steel armour, but unhelmed for coolness' sake and ease, like Britomart after battle. Mr. PUNCH pertinently quoted the patriot-poet, SPENSER:— "Like as Bellona (being late returnd From slaughter of the giaunts conqueréd; Where proud Encelade, whose wide nosthrils burnd With breathèd flames like to a furnace redd, Transfixed with her speare downe tombled dedd From top of Hemus by him heaped hye ;) Hath loosd her helmet from her lofty hedd, And her Gorgonian shield gins to untye From her lefte arme, to rest in glorious victorye." "Thanks, Mr. PUNCH, for the complimentary and poetic comparison!" said the war-mail'd and day-weary nymph, taking her seat at NEPTUNE's side. "Have you, from your inexhaustible store, no apt extract for Father NEP himself?" The brown-faced, brine-soaked sailor-god laughed loud and long, and BRITANNIA blushed smilingly, or smiled blushingly, which soever way it may be put. "By the blue-green eyes of Amphitrite," he cried, "BRITANNIA has made himn glad this day, as he has not often been since that day of days at Trafalgar." "A mere playful parade of my naval power in honour of dear VICTORIA's sixty years of benignant sway, O saltbearded Sire of mine," replied BRITANNIA, with a curious double-edged smile. "Titans who can play like that, my shrewd daughter, will give a good account of their steel thews and thunderthroated missiles, when the time for serious tussle comes," said NEPTUNE, grimly. "I trust so," responded BRITANNIA, looking with pensive pride out seaward, where her miles of ranked and ranged warships were yet visible. "But, TOBY, I am athirst!" TOBIAS, rigged for the great occasion in natty nautical gear, handed round the hospitable Sage's Jubilee jorum, wherein Father NEPTUNE's bearded lip and BRITANNIA's sweet firm mouth were alike ready to dip. "A toast! a toas'!" cried Mr. PUNCH, lifting high his brimming beaker. "Here's to VICTORIA, honoured and dear! Many happy returns of this Jubilee Year! And long may her banner float free o'er the wave! On the daughter he loves, and his favourite Isle ! "Capital!" cried NEPTUNE. And here's to OUR FLEET, in this Diamond Year, "But I'll venture to add just one couplet ; "VICTORIA, BRITANNIA, old NEPTUNE! Brave bunch! "Hear! hear!" cried BRITANNIA. "Thanks!" responded PUNCH, feelingly, looking like Erin, "with a smile on his lip and a tear in his eye." "In return let me present you with BRITANNIA'S Beacon, the Patriot's Pilot, Queen VICTORIA's most valued Vade Mecum, the true British Mariner's Compass, and Father NEPTUNE's Friend and Fun-provider. ToвY, hand 'em my One Hundred and Twelfth Volume!" THE LATEST ART NOTES. [An exhibition is shortly to be opened of drawings and paintings by children under fifteen years of age."] THE Academy picture of Master THOMAS TITTLEBAT is now nearly completed, and it is certain to prove one of the masterpieces of the year, appealing as it does strongly to the military and patriotic instincts of the public. It depicts a British soldier in action, and the scarlet of his tunic and the yellow helmet form prominent parts of its colour-scheme. A large cloud of smoke is issuing from his rifle, and, by a brilliant piece of poetic imagination, the bullet (represented by a brown blot) is depicted as visible to the sight as it whistles through the air. Beneath the picture is the inscription, in Prussian blue, "This iss a Soldger." We are glad to say the indisposition of Miss ANGELINA SNOOKS is less serious than it was at first reported to be. This talented young lady, whose representations of windmills are so justly popular, attempted, in a moment of aberration, to eat a cake of gamboge. Fortunately her nurse was able to interrupt the meal, and it is hoped that in a few days' time she will be completely restored to health. It is said, on good authority, that Master WILLIAM JENKINS is likely to be appointed to the Slade Professorship, at present vacant. Some of the critics, while admitting his claims on other grounds, are inclined to demur to his election on the score of his advanced age. It is true that Master JENKINS has passed his fourteenth birthday, and that therefore his best work must necessarily lie behind him. Still, his brilliant course of lectures on "The Art of Caricature," and his portraits of schoolmasters (executed in chalk, on wooden palings) seem to point him out as one eminently qualified for the post, and it is said that Messrs. WATTS and BURNE-JONES are extremely anxious to take lessons from him. ALL those who value artistic decoration in their homes should not fail to read the lately-published volume, entitled, Practical Hints on the Adornment of the Nursery, with special reference to the Use of Chromo-lithographs from the Illustrated Papers. The brochure on the furnishing of dolls'-houses. distinguished authoress is already well-known, by reason of her Ir is curious to notice how variable are the prices obtained in the auction-marts for the work of our best artists. For instance, an original study in slate pencil by that celebrated artist Master WILLIAM DOBBIN executed, too, in his prime, when he was seven years old fetched only twenty guineas, at CHRISTIE'S, last week, while his "Portrait of an Elephant" realised double that amount less than a year ago. THE Philistinism of parents is almost beyond belief. It is said that while Master HENRY RAPHAEL was engaged the other day in decorating his father's drawing-room wall-paper with cartoons painted in vermilion, that ignorant gentleman not only interrupted the artist's work, but even put him to severe physical pain as a reward for his industry! It is to be hoped that the Council of the Academy will prosecute this barbarous parent, and that he will thus reap the punishment which he so richly deserves. Lord S-1-sb-ry. Now, MR. PUNCH, A SHAKSPEARIAN TOAST FOR THE NEW YEAR! Mr. Punch. AT YOUR PLEASURE, "RENOWNED SALISBURY." "DR. JIM" IS OUT OF PRISON, BUT NOT OUT OF DANGER; TWO OTHERS HAVE FULFILLED THEIR TERM. THEN WHY NOT MAKE THE OPENING OF THE NEW YEAR THE OPENING DAY OF THE PRISON GATES TO THE OTHERS, AND, NOT IN TERMS OF QUESTION, BUT OF CHARITY, EXCLAIM, WITH KING HENRY THE FOURTH, "PARDON AND TERMS OF LOVE TO ALL OF YOU!" |