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VER!" cried Mr. Punch, removing his sailor cap aud mopping his manly brow, moist with sea-spray, and the
perspiration produced by many Jubilee toasts and much loyal shouting. “Fancy you 're playing umpire at a new gume of naval cricket?" queried NEPTUNE, with a nautical wink.
"Nay, Nep,” answered the smiling Sage. “I'm universal umpire at all known games, from croquet to the kriegsspiel. But cricket on your green sea-fields, old tarry-breeks, has got to be invented. I merely meant that the great Naval Review of June, 1897, is 'over.'”
Humph!" muttered NEPTUNE. “ Your Armstrongs -aptest of names !-might provide excellent ball-practice for an Eleven of Titans, captained by a HYPERION-GRACE, with an Oceanus-RICHARDSON for chief trundler.”
“That would be a novel Tiranomachia, mustered to make a British Bank Holiday ! " responded Mr. PUNCH. the one we have seen to-day, though our armour-clad Titans have only been like Leviathans at play, or Cyclops in rehearsal, hath been splendid, pregnant with immense possibilities, and calculated to astonish the Hecatoncheires themselves."
“ Verily,” said NEPTUNE, " the hundred-handed warders of the vanquished Titans never witnessed such wonders as the Diamond Jubilee Naval Review, of which we have just been sympathetic and admiring spectators. My own favourite modern Titanide, BRITANNIA, has bettered her instructions, and beaten her ancient prototypes, THIA, THEMIs, and TETHYS, hollow."
Ah, here is the greatest of the modern Uranidæ !” said Mr. PUNCH, warued by the barking of that genuine sea-dog, TOBIAS, of the approach of BRITANNIA herself, in her strong, deftly-fashioned steel armour, but unhelmed for coolness' sake and ease, like Britomart after battle. Mr. Punch pertinently quoted the patriot-poct, SPENSER
"Like as Bellona (being late returnd
From her lefte arme, to rest in glorious victorye.” Thanks, Mr. Purch, for the complimentary and poetic comparison !” said the war-mail'd and day-weary nympli, taking her seat at NEPTUNE's side. Have
from your inexhaustible store, no apt extract for Father Nep himself ? "
Mr. PUNCH, the omniscient, responded promptly :
Which foure great hippodames did draw in teem-wise tyde,
His sea-horses did eeeme to snort amayne
And from their nosethrilles blow the brynie streame.
For privy love his brest empiercéd had.
Ne ought but deare BRITANNIA now could make him glad." The brown-faced, brine-soaked sailor-god laughed loud and long, and Britannia blushed smilingly, or smiled blushingly, whichsoever way it may be put. “By the blue-green eyes of Amphitrite,” he cried, “ BRITANNIA has made hiin glad' this day, as he has not often been since that day of days at Trafalgar.”
"A mere playful parade of my naval power in honour of dear VICTORIA's sixty years of benignant sway, 0 saltbearded Sire of mine,” replied Britannia, with a curious double-edged smile.
“Titans who can play 'like that, my shrewd daughter, will give a good account of their steel thews and thunderthroated missiles, when the time for serious tussle comes," said NEPTUNE, grimly.
“I trust so," responded BRITANNIA, looking with pensive pride out seaward, where her miles of ranked and ranged warships were yet visible. “ But, TOBY, I am athirst!"
Tobias, rigged for the great occasion in natty nautical gear, handed round the hospitable Sage's Jubilee jorun, wherein Father Neptune's bearded lip and BRITANNIA's sweet firm mouth were alike ready to dip.
“A toast ! a toast ! " cried Mr. Punch, lifting high his brimming beaker.
And here 's to OUR FLEET, in this Diamond Year,
And the brave lads who man it and never know fear !
Hearts of oak are they still, though their ships are of iron.
Whilst such ships and sea-dogs our white cliffs environ,
Our QUEEN is at rest, and our homes are at ease!
Hooray! Let this Toast, lads, sound loud o'er the seas !! " “Capital !" cried NEPTUNE. “But I 'll venture to add just one couplet ;
“ VICTORIA, BRITANNIA, old NEPTUNE! Brave bunch!
But, to make all things square, add sage-patriot PUNCH!!" “Hear! hear!” cried BRITANNIA. “ Bow-wow!”yapped TOBY.
“ Thanks!" responded Purch, feelingly, looking like Erin, “with a smile on his lip and a tear in his eye.” “In return let me present you with Britannia's Beacon, the Patriots Pilot, Queen Victoria's most valued Vade Mecum, the true British Mariner's Compass, and Father NEPTUNE's Friend and Fun-provider. Toby, hand 'em my
THE LATEST ART NOTES.
ALL those who value artistic decoration in their homes should
not fail to read the lately-published volume, entitled, Practical "An exhibition is shortly to be opened of drawings and paintings by Hints on the Adornment of the Nursery, with special reference to children under fifteen years of age.”]
the Use of Chromo-lithographs from the Illustrated Papers. The The Academy picture of Master Thomas TITTLEBAT is now
distinguished authoress is already well-known, by reason of her nearly completed, and it is certain to prove one of the master- brochure on the furnishing of dolls”-houses. pieces of the year, appealing as it does strongly to the military and patriotic instincts of the public. It depicts a British soldier
It is curious to notice how variable are the prices obtained in in action, and the scarlet of his tunic and the yellow helmet the auction-marts for the work of our best artists. For instance, form prominent parts of its colour-scheme. A large cloud of an original study in slate pencil by that celebrated artist Master smoke is issuing from his rifle, and, by a brilliant piece of poetic WILLIAM DOBBIN_executed, too, in his prime, when he was seven imagination, the bullet (represented by a brown blot) is depicted years old-fetched only twenty guineas, at CHRISTIE's, last week, as visible to the sight as it whistles through the air.
Beneath while his
Portrait of an Elephant” realised double that amount the picture is the inscription, in Prussian blue, “This iss
less than a year ago. Soldger.”
THE Philistinism of parents is almost beyond belief. It is said We are glad to say the indisposition of Miss ANGELINA SNOOKS that while Master HENRY RAPHAEL was engaged the other day is less serious than it was at first reported to be. This talented in decorating his father's drawing-room wall-paper with cartoons young lady, whose representations of windmills are 80 justly painted in vermilion, that ignorant gentleman not only interpopylar, attempted, in a moment of aberration, to eat a cake of rupted the artist's work, but even put him to severe physical gambege. Fortunately her nurse was able to interrupt the meal, pain as a reward for his industry! It is to be hoped that the and it is hoped that in a few days' time she will be completely Council of the Academy will prosecute this barbarous parent, and restored to health.
that he will thus reap the punishment which he so richly deserves. It is said, on good authority, that Master William JENKINS is likely to be appointed to the Slade Professorship, at present
On the Bourse. vacant. Some of the critics, while admitting his claims on other grounds, are inclined to demur to his election on the score of his
Wigsby. I'm seriously thinking of going in for one of these
new motor-cars. advanced age. It is true that Master JENKINS has passed his fourteenth birthday, and that therefore his best work must neces
Grigsby. Much better stick to your old public vehicle. sarily lie behind him. Still, his brilliant course of lectures on
Wigsby (taken Unawares). My old public vehicle! What's “The Art of Caricature," and his portraits of schoolmasters (exe
that? cuted in chalk, on wooden palings) seem to point him out as one
Grigsby. The promoter trap, of course! eminently qualified for the post, and it is said that Messrs. Watts
[Vanishes into Capel Court. and BURNB-JONES are extremely anxious to take lessons from him.
At Florence. BRITISH sculpture is decidedly looking up. We have rarely First Tourist. Hullo ! BARKINS, what brought you here ? seen finer specimens of the art than the mud-pies recently de- Second Tourist (facetiously). The railway, of course. And signed by Master PHIDIAS BROWN. Should the season permit, it you? is understood that this clever sculptor will produce à colossal First Tourist (getting mixed, but thinking he has his friend). figure in snow during his Christmas holidays.
My wife's wish to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa !
OUR OPENING DAY! Lord S-l-sb-ry. Now, MR. PUNCH, A SHAKSPEARIAN TOAST FOR THE NEW YEAR !
Mr. Punch. AT YOUR PLEASURE, “RENOWNÈD SALISBURY.” “DR. JIM” IS OUT OF PRISON, BUT NOT OUT OF DANGER ; Two OTHERS HAVE FULFILLED THEIR TERM. THEN WHY NOT MAKE THE OPENING OF THE NEW YEAR THE OPENING DAY OF THE PRISON GATES TO THE OTHERS, AND, NOT IN TERMS OF QUESTION, BUT OF CHARITY, EXCLAIM, WITH KING HENRY THE FOURTH,
"PARDON AND TERMS OF LOVE TO ALL OF YOU !”