+ THE CHRISTIAN FATHER'S PRESENT TO HIS CHILDREN. BY JOHN ANGELL JAMES, "And thou, Solomon, my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart, and with a willing mind. For the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts; if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.". “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” 1 Chron. 28, 29. ..3 John 3. NEW-YORK: THOMAS GEORGE, JR. 162 NASSAU STREET. PREFACE. The author scarcely need say that his work is not intended for young people below the age of fourteen. In the composition of the book, a seeming tautology sometimes occurs: what is just touched upon in one place, is more expanded in others: and some subjects are intentionally repeated. To give additional interest to the volumes, numerous extracts, and some anecdotes are introduced, which tend to relieve the dulness of didactic composition, and prevent the tedium of unvarying monotony. As a Christian, the author of the following vo- Letters would not have been liable to these objeclumes believes that there is a state of everlasting tions; but upon the whole, he preferred the form of happiness prepared beyond the grave for those, and chapters, in which the style of direct address is prethose only, who are partakers of pure and undefiled served. The advantage of this style is obvious; it religion; and, as a parent, he will freely confess his not only keeps up the reader's interest, but, as evesupreme solicitude is, that his children, by a patient ry parent who presents these volumes to his childcontinuance in well doing, might seek for glory, ren adopts the advice as his own, such young perhonor, immortality; and finally possess themselves sons, by an easy effort of the imagination, lose sight of eternal life, He is not insensible to the worth of of the author, and read the language of their own temporal advantages; he is neither cynic nor as- father. If any thing is necessary to secure this efcetic; he appreciates the true value of wealth, fect, beyond the simple act of presenting the book, learning, science, and reputation, which he desires, it might be immediately obtained by an inscription in such measure as God shall see fit to bestow, both to the child, written by the parent's own hand upon for himself and his children; he has conquered the the fly-leaf. world, but does not despise it; he resists its yoke as a master, but values its ministrations as a servant. Still, however, he views the present state of sublunary affairs as a splendid pageant, the fashion of which passeth away, to give place to the glory which shall never be moved: he looketh not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. It is on this ground that he attaches so much importance to a religious education. To those, if such there In the references which the author has given to should be, who imagine that he is too anxious about books, both in the chapter on that subject, and in this matter, and has said too much about it, he has marginal notes, he does not wish to be considered simply to reply, that " he believes, therefore has he spoken." The man who does not make the religious character of his children the supreme end of all his conduct towards them, may profess to believe as a Christian, but certainly acts as an atheist: besides, Once more let it be stated, and stated with all if this end be secured, the most likely step is taken possible emphasis, that the chief design of this for accomplishing every other; as "Godliness is work, is to form the religious character of its readprofitable for all things, having the promise of the ers, and to implant those virtues, which shall live, life that now is, as well as of that which is to come." (and flourish, and dignify, and delight, infinite ages With these views, the author has embodied in the after every object that is dear to avarice or pride, following volumes his own parental wishes, objects, to learning or science, to taste or ambition, shall and pursuits. Much that is here written, has been have perished in the conflagration of the universe. the subject of his personal converse with his child- Edgbaston, April 10, 1824. ren, and should God spare his life, will still continue to be the topics of his instruction. as laying down, much less as limiting for young people, a course of reading; but as simply directing them to some works, which among others, ought by no means to be neglected. AN ADDRESS TO CHRISTIAN PARENTS. What is beneficial to his own family, the author thought might be no less useful to others; and this was another reason which induced him to pub- MY DEAR FRIENDS-It is a situation of tremendlish. The multiplication of books of this kind, even ous responsibility to be a parent: for the manner in if they make small pretensions to classic elegance which you discharge the duties of this relation, you of composition, is to be looked upon as a benefit, must give an account in that awful day, when the provided they contain sound Scriptural sentiments, secrets of all hearts shall be judged by Jesus Christ. and an obvious tendency to produce right moral im- With every babe that God intrusts to your care, he pressions. Books are sometimes read merely be in effect sends the solemn injunction, "Take this cause they are new; it is desirable therefore to gra- child, and bring it up for me ;" and at the final audit, tify this appetite for novelty, when at the same time will inquire, in what manner you have obeyed the we can strengthen and build up the moral charac- command. It will not then be sufficient to plead the ter by a supply of wholesome and nutritious food.-strength of your affection, nor the ceaseless efforts Nor is it always necessary that new books should to which it gave rise; for if these efforts were not contain new topics, or new modes of illustration, directed to a right end, if all your solicitude was laany more than it is necessary that there should be vished upon inferior objects, you will receive the a perpetual change in the kinds of food, in order to rebuke of him that sitteth upon the throne. attain to bodily strength. Whatever varieties may be introduced by the wisdom that is sensual, bread will still remain the staff of life. So there are some primitive truths and subjects, which, whatever no velties and curiosities may be introduced for the gratification of religious taste, must still be repeated, as essential to the formation of religious It is of infinite importance that you should contemplate your children in their proper point of view. They are animal beings, and therefore it is highly proper that you should use every effort to provide them with suitable food, clothing, habitations, and every thing else that can conduce to the comfort of their present existence. They are social beings, and therefore it is important that you should qualify The author has not selected the sermonic form of them to enjoy the comforts and discharge the duties discussion, because some of his subjects did not ad- of social life. They are rational beings, and theremit of it: and also because sermons are perhaps the fore it is your duty to furnish them with every posleast inviting species of reading to young people.-sible advantage for the culture of their minds. But character. if you look no farther than this, you leave out of David's sorrowful complaint uttered by the distresssight the grandest and most interesting lights ined and disappointed Christian father, “ Although which they can be seen, and will of course neglect the most important of your duties towards them; for they are immortal beings; the stamp of eternity is upon them: everlasting ages are before them. They are like all the rest of the human race, depraved, guilty, and condemned creatures, and consequently in danger of eternal misery. Yet are they, through the mercy of God, and the mediation of Christ, creatures capable of attaining to glory, honor, immortality, and eternal life. Looking upon them in this light, and this is the light in which you profess to contemplate them, say, what should be your chief anxiety concerning them, and what your conduct towards them? my house be not so with God." Too often do we see the child of many prayers and many hopes forgetting the instructions he has received, and running with the multitude to do evil. Far be it from me to add affliction to affliction, by saying that this is to be traced, in every case, to parental neglectI would not thus pour as it were nitre and vinegar upon the bleeding wounds, with which filial impiety has lacerated many a father's mind. I would not thus cause the wretched parent to exclaim, "Reproach hath broken the heart, already half broken by my child's misconduct." I know that in many cases no blame whatever is to be thrown on the parent; but it was the depravity of the child alone, Recognising in your children, beings placed in which nothing could subdue but the power of the this world in a state of probation, and hastening to Holy Ghost, that led to the melancholy result. The eternal happiness or torinent, will you be contented best possible scheme of Christian education, most to seek for them any thing short of eternal salvation? judiciously directed, and most perseveringly mainEven a deist, who has any belief of a future state tained, has, in some cases, totally failed. God is a of reward and punishment, cannot act consistently, sovereign, and he hath mercy on whom he will have unless he is supremely desirous of the everlasting mercy. Still, however, there is, in the order of welfare of his children. None but an avowed athe-means, a tendency in a religious education, to seist can, with the least propriety, fix his aim lower cure the desired result; and God usually does bless, for his children, than the possession of a happy im- with his saving influence, such efforts." Train up mortality. But in the case of a Christian parent, it a child in the way he should go, and when he is old is in the highest degree inconsistent, absurd, cruel, he will not depart from it." This is certainly true, and wicked, ever to lose sight of this even for an in- as a general rule, though there are many exceptions stant, in the arrangements which he makes for his from it. family, or the manner of conducting himself towards them. Do you really believe in the ruin of the human race by sin, and their recovery by Christ; in the existence of such states as heaven and hell; in the necessity of a life of faith and holiness, in order to escape the one and secure the other?then act up to these solemn convictions, not only in reference to your own salvation, but to the salvation of your children. Let a supreme desire of their immortal interests be at the bottom of your conduct, and be interwoven in all your parental habits. Let them have, in the fullest sense of the term, a Christian education. Act towards them, and for them, so that you shall be able to say to them, however they may turn out, "I take you to record that I am clear from your blood." But my principal object in this address is, to point out what appear to me to be the most prevailing obstacles to success, in the religious education of children. I shall now lay before you the principal obstacles to success in religious education, as they strike my mind. First.-It is frequently too negligently and capriciously maintained, even where it is not totally omitted. It is obvious, that if at all attended to, it should be attended to with anxious earnestness, systematic order, and perpetual regularity. It should not be taken up as a dull form, an unpleasant drudgery, but as a matter of deep and delightful interest.The heart of the parent should be entirely and obviously engaged. A part of every returning Sabbath should be spent by him, surrounded by his filial charge; and it should be embodied, more or less, with the whole habit of parental conduct.The father may lead the usual devotions at the family altar: the mother may join with him in teaching their children catechism, hymns, Scripture; That in many cases the means employed by but if this be unattended by serious admonition, viChristian parents for their children's spiritual wel-sible anxiety, and strenuous effort to lead their fare are unsuccessful, is a melancholy fact, esta- children to think seriously on religion, as a matter blished by abundant, and, I fear, accumulating evi- of infinite importance, little good can be expected. dence. I am not now speaking of those families- A cold, formal, capricious system of religious inand are there indeed such ?-where scarcely a sem-struction is rather likely to create prejudice against blance of domestic piety or instruction is to be religion, than prepossession in its favor. found, where no family altar is seen, no family Then, again, a religious education should be conprayer is heard, no parental admonition is deliver-sistent-it should extend to every thing that is likely ed! What! this cruel, wicked, ruinous neglect of to assist in the formation of character. It should their children's immortal interest in the families of not be mere abstract tuition, but should be a comprofessors!! Monstrous inconsistency! Shocking dereliction of principle! No wonder that their children go astray. This is easily accounted for. Some of the most profligate young people that I know, have issued from such households. Their prejudices against religion, and their enmity against its forms, are greater than those of the children of avowed worldlings. Inconsistent, hypocritical, negligent professors of religion, frequently excite in their sons and daughters an unconquerable aversion and disgust against piety, which seems to inspire them with a determination to place themselves at the farthest possible remove from its influence. But I am now speaking of the failure of a religious education, where it has been, in some measure, carried on; instances of which are by no means unfrequent. Too often do we hear the echo of plete whole. It should select the schools, the companions, the amusements, the books of youth; for if it do nothing more than merely teach a form of sound words to the understanding, and to the memory, while the impression of the heart, and the formation of the character are neglected, very little is to be expected from such efforts. A handful of seed, scattered now and then upon the ground, without order or perseverance, might as rationally be expected to produce a good crop, as a mere luke warm, capricious, religious education to be followed by true piety. If the parent is not visibly in earnest, it cannot be expected that the child will be so. Religion, by every Christian parent, is theoretically acknowledged to be the most important thing in the world; but if in practice the father appears a thousand times more anxious for his son to be a good scholar than a real Christian, and the mother more solicitous for the daughter to be a good dancer or musician, than a child of God, they may teach what they like in the way of good doctrine, but they are not to look for genuine piety as the result: this can only be expected where it is really taught and inculcated, as the one thing needful. Secondly. The relaxation of domestic discipline is another obstacle in the way of a successful religious education. A parent is invested by God with a degree of authority over his children, which he cannot neglect to use without being guilty of trampling under foot the institutions of heaven. Every family is a community, the government of which is strictly despotic, though not tyrannical. Every father is a sovereign, though not an oppressor: he is a legislator, and not merely a counsellor: and his will is law, not merely advice. He is to command, to restrain, to punish; and children are required to obey: he is, if necessary, to threaten, to rebuke, to chastise; and they are to submit with reverence. He is to decide what books shall be read, what companions invited, what engagements formed, and how time is to be spent. If he sees any thing wrong, he is not to interpose merely with the timid, feeble, ineffectual protest of Eli, "Why do ye thus, my sons ?" but with a firm, though mild prohibition. He must rule his own house; and by the whole of his conduct, make his children feel that obedience is his due and his demand. The want of discipline, wherever it exists, will be supplied by confusion and domestic anarchy.Every thing goes wrong in the absence of this. A gardener may sow the choicest seeds; but if he neglect to pluck up weeds, and prune wild luxuriances; he must not expect to see his flowers grow, or his garden flourish; and so a parent may deliver the best instructions, but if he do not, by discipline, eradicate evil tempers, correct bad habits, repress rank corruptions, nothing excellent can be looked for. He may be a good prophet, and a good priest, but if he be not also a good king, all else is vain. When once a man breaks his sceptre, or lends it to his children as a plaything, he may give up his hopes of success from a religious education. I have seen the evil resulting from a want of discipline in innumerable families, both amongst my brethren in the ministry, and others. Frightful instances of disorder and immorality are now present to my mind, which I could almost wish to forget. The misfortune in many families is, that this regimen is unsteady and capricious, sometimes carried even to tyranny itself, at others relaxed into a total suspension of law; so that the children are at one time trembling like slaves, at others revolting like rebels; at one time groaning beneath an iron yoke, at others rioting in a state of lawless liberty. This is a most mischievous system, and its effects are generally what might be expected. the reins of government into filial hands, or else by his conduct declares his children to be in a state of independence. I am not advising a contest for power; for where a child has been accustomed to obey, even from an infant, the yoke of obedience will always, at least generally, be light and easy; if not, and a rebellious temper should begin to show itself early, a judicious father should be on his guard, should suffer no encroachments on his prerogative, while at the same time the increased power of his authority, like the increased pressure of the atmosphere, should be felt without being seen, and this will make it irresistible. Thirdly.- Undue severity, in the other extreme, is as injurious as unlimited indulgence. If injudicious fondness has slain its tens of thousands, unnecessary harshness has destroyed its thousands. By an authority which cannot err, we are told that the cords of love are the bands of a man. There is a plastic power in love. The human mind is so constituted as to yield readily to the influence of kindness. Men are more easily led to their duty, than driven to it; a child, says an eastern proverb, may lead the elephant by a single hair. You remember, and perhaps have often seen verified, the old apologue of the Sun, the Wind, and the Traveller. Love seems so essential an element of the parental character, that there is something shockingly revolting, not only in a cruel, not only in an unkind, not only in a severe, but even in a coldhearted father. Study the parental character as it is exhibited in that most exquisitely touching moral picture, the parable of the Prodigal Son. When a father governs entirely by cold, bare, uncovered authority; by mere commands, prohibitions and threats; by frowns untempered with smiles; when the friend is never blended with the legislator, nor authority modified with love; when his conduct produces only a servile fear in the hearts of his children, instead of a generous affection; when he is served from a dread of the effects of disobedience, rather than from a sense of the pleasure of obedience; when he is dreaded in the family circle as a frowning spectre, rather than hailed as the guardian angel of its joys; when even accidents raise a storm, and faults a hurricane of passion in his bosom; when offenders are driven to equivocation and ly ing, with the hope of averting by concealment those severe corrections which disclosure always entails; when unnecessary interruptions are made to innocent enjoyments; when, in fact, nothing of the father, but every thing of the tyrant, is seen; can we expect religion to grow in such soil as this? Yes, as rationally as we may look for the tenderest hot-house plant to thrive amidst the rigors of eternal frost. It is useless for such a father to teach religion; he chills the soul of his pupils; he hardens their hearts against impression; he prepares them to rush with eager haste to their ruin, as soon as they have thrown off the yoke of their bondage; and to employ their liberty, as affording the means of unbridled gratification. Like a company of African slaves, they are first tortured by their thraldom, and by that very bondage, trained up to convert their emancipation into a means of destruction. Let parents then, in all their conduct, blend the lawgiver and the friend, temper authority with kindness, and realize in their measure that representation of Deity which Dr. Watts has given us, where he says, In some cases, discipline commences too late, in others it ceases too early. A father's magisterial office is coeval with his parental relation. A child as soon as he can reason, should be made to feel that obedience is due to parents; for if he grow up to boyhood before he is subject to the mild rule of parental authority, he will, very probably, like an untamed bullock, resist the yoke. On the other hand, as long as children continue beneath the parental roof, they are to be subject to the rules of domestic discipline. Many parents greatly err, in, abdicating the throne in favor of a son or daughter, because the child is becoming a man or a woman. It is truly pitiable to see a boy or girl of fifteen, returning from school to sow the seeds of revolt in the domestic community, acting in opposition to pa- In short, let them so act, that their children shall rental authority, till the too compliant father gives be convinced that their law is holy, and their com "Sweet majesty and awful love, Sit smiling on his brow." |