dence of his aunt. I entreat your acceptance of the enclosed sum: any banker at Paris will give you gold for the bank-note; and do not imagine that, by its acceptance, you put me to the least inconvenience; I am only too happy to be of use to one for whom I entertain so sincere a regard. It is a great relief to my feelings that we have come to spend the first month of our wedded life at Annandale Castle- -a fine seat of my husband's, where Augusta has never been. Here is no portrait, no memorial of her, to remind me that she ever existed; nothing, save the never-dying, still, small voice of conscience, which incessantly reproaches me. Lord Annandale is all kindness all affec -- tion; and every thing around me is marked by a splendour and taste that might satisfy the most ambitious and fastidious of my sex. Now, therefore, for the first time, I am mis tress of the rank and wealth for which I have so long sighed; and for the attainment of which I have committed such fearful crimes. Yet, do I enjoy the that they are mine? coveted baubles, now Alas, no! the thought of how they have been obtained destroys all; and gladly-oh, how gladly! would I exchange them for obscurity, could I obtain peace of mind. The husband who cherishes and smiles on me would turn away in horror, knew he my crimes, or that he was the dupe to my arts; and the very attendants, who approach me with such reverential deference, would shrink back if they only dreamt of the turpitude of the new-made bride. I am forced to exert every energy to conceal the depression of my spiritsa depression attributed by Lord Annandale to a nervous illness, brought on by the awful death of my aunt, and in creased by that of Augusta. He often compliments me on my sensibility (think what I must feel at such unmerited commendations!) and redoubles his attentions, in order to subdue my sadness. He is, naturally, a kind-hearted and goodnatured man, with gentle and agreeable manners; his only failing, and it is a venial one too, is his excessive vanity, which has led him into situations in which his morals have been injured, and his sensibility blunted. He is so grateful for the high opinion of his mental and personal qualifications which he believes me to entertain, that his complaisance and indulgence for me are unbounded, and his generosity equally so. Yesterday he presented me with the family diamonds, which are magnificent. How many thoughts did the sight of them recall! Well do I remember, when, the day previous to Augusta's wedding, I was dwelling, with longing and envious eyes on their dazzling lustre, how she turned away, regardless of them; and only answered me with tears, when I expressed my astonishment that she could be so insensible to the pleasure of possessing them. They are now mine; but do they give me pleasure? Alas! no; for they remind me, that, to obtain them, I have lost a jewel beyond all price the peace that a conscience free -- from guilt bestows. When I look round on the stately saloons, splendid pictures, and magnificent furniture, of this fine castle, I almost wonder that, being its mistress, I can be otherwise than happy; yet, too late I find, that the splendour purchased by wicked schemes, and successful artifices, can never give happiness. I forget the end in the means used to attain it; and turn with disappointment from possessions which cannot banish the sense from my mind. of remorse Yet, I am not ungrateful to Lord Annandale-far from it. Nay, more; a warmer feeling of gratitude than I ever thought I should experience towards him fills my heart. It is a mingled sentiment of pity for his being the dupe of the plot I have practised upon him, and thankfulness for the affection with which he treats me. I wish to repay him, by every exertion in my power for his welfare and happiness; and think, that if there be still a chance of peace for me on earth, it rests on the fulfilment of the duties my new position demands. When he tenderly reproaches me for my altered character and unusual gravity, I feel the colour rise to my cheeks, and vainly endeavour to assume the semblance of gaiety; but I cannot long sustain the effort, and my spirits soon droop again. |