to bestow on a wife? or what funds, not appropriated to his own personal gratification, to meet the additional expense she would unavoidably create? No; the individuals who form the genus of which I have sketched a specimen, know that a wife, however amiable, or delightful, would only be an obstacle to the pursuit of their selfish pleasures; and, therefore, sedulously avoid matrimony. The following lines were given to me, the other day, by Lord Charles Fitzhardinge, descriptive of the miseries entailed on a man by marriage; and they are so expressive of the feelings of all this sort of men here, that I send them to you: YOUR WIFE "Who meets you in your days of youth, And makes you plight to her your truth? — Your Wife. "Who greets you with the smiles most bland, Until a flame of love is fanned; And you, poor fool! demand her hand?— Your Wife. "Who, when the Gordian knot is tied, Ere yet she ceases to be bride, Casts all her winning ways aside?— Your Wife. "Who jealous is of each past flame, She ever guessed, or heard you name; And counts them o'er with sneer and blame?— Your Wife. "Who says they all were perfect frights, And in defaming them delights To pass whole days - nay, often nights?. Your Wife. "Who, as you cool, grows still more fond, And strains to bursting wedlock's bond, Till you would joyfully abscond? "Who forces you to dine at home, Your Wife. When you to Crockford's fain would roam To feast beneath his gilded dome? Your Wife. A BACHELOR'S NOTION OF a wife. 221 "Who gives you soup ye gods, what stuff! And fish, of which the smell's enough! With mutton cutlets, cold and tough ?— Your Wife. "Who gives you wine, that ice ne'er knew, To wash down each unsav'ry stew; And talk-how little sav'ry too! Your Wife. "Who has the children-pretty dears!'To come when the dessert appears; And with their bon mots fills your ears? Your Wife. "Who forces you, for quiet's sake, Appointments with choice friends to break, Hoping, at last, escape to make?— "And, while, in pensive reverie, You think of where you wish to be, Your Wife. Your Wife. "Who, when at length you rise to go, Reproaches loud and deep lets flow, With tears that spring from rage, not wo? Your Wife. "Who lets you find 'twas all in vain You starved, and gave up iced champagne, For one determined to complain? — Your Wife. "Who selfish is, and void of tact, Refusing aye to let you act, As though you garçon were, in fact?- Your Wife. "Who thinks a husband - there's the rub !' -- Should give up living at a club; And if he wont, will pout and snub ? "Who gets shewn up each Sabbath morn, With reputation sadly torn, While you're pronounced a blockhead born? Your Wife. "Who runs you into debt each day, Although she knows you've lost at play, Caring not whether you can pay? Your Wife. "Who every bright illusion rends, Proving you never could have friends, "Who tells your faults to every dame Your Wife. name ? Your Wife. "Ye Benedicts of Fashion, own Here's no exaggeration shewn; The miseries I relate you've known Through Wives." The love of money, and deference to those who are imagined to possess it, is another striking peculiarity of my compatriots. He, or she, who can boast of wealth, no matter how obtained, is sure of being well received in society; though such persons may be illiterate, |