Obrazy na stronie
PDF
ePub

the next presentation of a living which, he expects, will soon revert to him—the prospect of which has diffused joy through the whole family.

Lord Delaward has been absent a week on business; and you should have witnessed the gloom and void, his absence spread over the whole circle here, and the cheerfulness his return caused, to feel how wholly the happiness of a family depends on the master. You should have seen the efforts, not always successful, made by Lady Delaward, to conceal her regret at his departure, her pensiveness during his absence, and her joy-beaming eyes at his return, to be sensible of the power of affection, and the happiness it can confer. But you will, perhaps, mock what appears to me so sacred; and such mockery I consider as little short of profanation. Never

had I formed a notion of the comforts of a

well-ordered home until my visit here; for mine, though abounding in all the luxuries of life, wants the animating spirit that only a young master and mistress can diffuse. The regularity at Vernon Hall appeared monotonous to me; and the oft-beginning, never-ending, visitations of our country neighbours served only to render it more tedious. I had learned to dread the thrice-told tales of the deaf and old Lady Hamlyn, and the pointless bon-mots of her gouty lord. Lord and Lady Dorington's old news half set me to sleep; from which happy state I was only awakened by their mutual contradiction of, "Indeed, Lord Dorington, it was not so;" and, "You will permit me to know better, Lady Dorington." Then, the short-sightedness of our old rector, who never could distinguish me from my mother, the taciturnity of his curate, the loquacity of our doctor, and the

[blocks in formation]

vulgarity of his fat wife, did not serve to enliven the periodical dinners at which these worthies graced the board of my paternal home.

Here, one day of every month is set apart for a grand dinner, given to all the nobility and gentry in the neighbourhood, who are conciliated by a dignified hospitality; but, not encouraged to that indiscriminate familiarity which, to the total interruption of all the rational occupations of the luckless owners, converts so many country-houses into inns. The high character Lord Delaward justly bears in his county led all his neighbours to form a favourable estimate of his wife, before they could judge from experience how far she was entitled to it. This is one of the many benefits arising from a high character: it enables him who possesses it to shed a lustre on all that immediately appertains to him; and happy,

thrice happy is she, who derives honour from him who has chosen her for his companion through life. Heigh-ho! will such be my lot? Perhaps, I the more desire it, because I feel that my giddiness and inexperience require the mantle of a husband's superiority to cover them, and protect me from their effects.

We leave this the day after to-morrow; and with deep regret shall I quit a spot where I have learned to respect what I have hitherto been more disposed to scoff at the scrupulous discharge of duties; a spot where I have been taught to think better of others, and more modestly of myself, by having had an opportunity of comparing my own weak, and vacillating character, with that of those around me. I should, under any circumstances, lament my departure from Delaward Park, which I consider the temple of domestic happiness; but, when I reflect that I

leave it to fulfil an engagement that my heart renounces, I feel doubly grieved. The foolish, the unpardonable desire, instigated by vanity, of throwing off the shackles of childhood, first led me to listen to Lord Annandale's flatteries, and to overrule the prudent objections of my family; and the more reprehensible folly of not acknowledging my weakness, lest I should be considered a child, has induced me to persevere in it.

The nearer the time approaches for pronouncing the irrevocable vows, the more do I dread this marriage; and yet I have not

courage to avow my feelings to those who possess the power of extricating me. A presentiment of evil continually hangs over my mind. It was not thus that Lady Delaward met her affianced husband at the altar! Fool -fool that I am, to compare myself in aught with one so good, so wise as she! Come to

« PoprzedniaDalej »