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The Inexperienced Barber-a Tale.

At length our hero silence broke,
And thus in wildest accents spoke :
"Cut off my whiskers! O ye gods!
I'd sooner lose my ears, by odds;
Madam, I'd not be so disgraced,
So lost to fashion and to taste,

To win an empress to my arms,

Though blest with more than mortal charms.
My whiskers! Zounds!" He said no more,
But quick retreated thro' the door,
And sought a less obdurate fair,

To take the beau with all his hair.

THE INEXPERIENCED BARBER.

The other day, a certain beau,
Before he could a courting go,
Must needs be dress'd; so off he flew,

To the first shop that met his view;
"Come, Barber," he exclaims in haste,
"Display for once a little taste,

"Exert your powers, and don't be stupid,
"But make me pretty as a Cupid.
"Consult my visage now with care,
"And to my looks adapt my hair."

The Inexperienced Barber.

The man, a novice in his trade, His best abilities display'd; And Cupid from his chair arose, A finished beauty, we suppose; Approach'd the glass, his visage spied, Then turning to the Barber, cried"Is this your boasted taste?-for shame! "Such dressing don't deserve the name; "My head, with all these curls and plaster, "Looks like the very devil, master." The barber in a humble tone,

Replied, "Dear sir, the fault's your own, "You bade me view your face with care, "And to your looks adapt your hair."

[graphic]

QUARTER-DAY,

OR THE

Horrors of the First of May.

A POEM.

NOTE.

It

The following Poem is founded on a custom peculiar to the city of New-York, where rents and leases uniformly commence on the first day of MAY. was the production of a few leisure evenings in the spring of 1812, and dedicated (see line 42d) to the honourable Dewitt Clinton, then Mayor of the city of New-York.

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