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wards fat down in full communion, to my foul's great comfort and edification, in the knowledge of Christ.

Notice being taken in the family where I lived, that I discontinued going to the cathedral worship, the which I commonly attended with a more than ordinary zeal, fometimes three times and fometimes four times in the fame day, and that I was not feen at the parish church on fabbath days, or at the facrament, as I used to do; the eyes of my obfervers were upon me to watch me what ways I took in religion. Innumerable were the taunts and fcoffs caft on that way of worship which I had efpoufed and clofed with, through all which I was carried with invincible courage: many and sharp were the combats wherewith I encountered from my own relations, especially the Lord of Santry, in whofe family I then lived, and my father, his brother, who, by their authority over me, and the greatness of their learning and parts, between which and mine there was no more compare than between the fun and a little twinkling ftar, did frequently attack me to bring me back to the forfaken church of England, but all in vain.

One time, above all others, my Lord obferving that I abfented not only from public worship, but that of his family alfo, fent up his fecretary, another brother's fon, to call me to prayer in the family at night. My coufin delivering my Lord's command, I replied, that I was under fome indifpofition, and therefore

therefore prayed my coufin to excufe me to my Lord. Down he goes; and no fooner had he delivered my anfwer but up he comes again with the fame meffage from my Lord. I threw him off the fecond time with the fame excufe, alleging that I could not come. This anfwer brought to my Lord the fecond time, he in a great rage fends up my coufin, with a peremptory command that I must come to prayer. My coufin ftood fome confiderable time, expecting that I would answer my Lord's peremptory command; but my answer was, that, feeing my Lord had fo plainly imposed on my conscience, in commanding me to act against my conscience, I thought it was my duty to declare, that, until I better understood it to be my duty to obey his Lordship in a thing of this nature than as yet I did, I neither could nor would go to join in prayer with the family. This reply coming to my Lord's ear, he let me alone for that night. The next day my Lord took me to tafk, examining very ftrictly and demanding of me a reason wherefore I came not to prayer with the family, seeing they never used the Common Prayer in the family?

To whom I made this reply: My Lord, it is not from any averfion I have to prayer that keeps me back from coming to prayer with the family, but the great diffatisfaction lodged in my conscience; for, my Lord, faid I, fhould I, under my prefent light and conviction, go on my knees to join in fuch a fervice, where God is fo notoriously dif

honoured,

honoured, and his glorious name fo greatly profaned, my confcience would like a flame of fire fly face.

in

my

Q. The Lord then demanded of me, what I could object against the service performed in the family?

A. To whom I replied, that the chief objection I made was against the perfon who performed the fervice.

Q. The Lord demanded what I had to object against the perfon who prayed in the family?

A. To whom I replied, that I objected against him for two things: First, that he was a rotten Arminian, denying the doctrine of election and juftification by the alone imputed righteousness of the Son of God, and that he alfo held falling from grace.

Secondly, For that he was in his life and converfation a notorious drunkard, and a common curfer and fwearer, &c.

Q. My Lord then demanded why I did not come to family prayer when his fon James faid prayers? [Reader, thou must know, that when the chaplain would be drinking and rioting abroad, fometimes my Lord's fon would be commanded to read one of the evening prayers at the end of fome bibles.]

To this I answered, that his fon was but a child, and did not understand what he read.

Q. Lord

Q. Lord have mercy on me, faid my Lord, who would you have pray in my family?

A. My Lord, faid I, I humbly conceive no man living is fitter for a fervice of this nature than your Lordship, the great God having made your Lordfhip king and lord over your own family, and hath endued your Lordship with fuch incomparable gifts of knowledge and learning, and I hope of grace too.

Q. And pray, fir, faid my Lord, how would you have me pray?

A. My Lord, faid I, I humbly conceive that you are to pray according to the present condition of the fouls of your family.

Q. Pray, fir, faid my Lord, how is it poffible for me to know the inward thoughts and condition of my family's fouls, fo as to order my prayers accordingly?

A. My Lord, replied I, albeit your Lordship cannot poffibly acquaint yourself with all the fecrets of your family, yet you may, by catechizing your family, and frequently examining them about the state of their fouls and God's dealing with them, find matter enough to enlarge on in putting up prayers to God for them in the general, which is as much as the rule of duty directs or obliges to.

My Lord, finding that the truth I was called to vindicate, and the Spirit by which 1 fpoke, to be too powerful for his great learning, let fall the difpute, which I am very fure was his wifdom, and

his best advantage fo to do, confidering that none ever yet profpered who continued to fight against God*.

My Lord by this means found how I ftood affected in religion, and accordingly communicated to my father his judgment and apprehensions of me. Immediately a confultation was held about me, to confider what methods were most proper to take, not only to prevent my farther advancing in that way of religion, which they accounted fanaticism, but also to bring me back to the church of England, whereon I had turned the back.

The refult of their confultation, as foon afterwards appeared, iffued in a fixed resolution to carry it towards me with all the urbanity and gentleness imaginable, my relations confidering and knowing that my temper and fpirit was to be drawn and won by fair and gentle means, not to be forced by violence.

According to the methods agreed on, I was at a strange and unusual rate treated by my father, my Lord, my grandmothers, my uncles and aunts, with the rest of my relations, in fuch ways of

*The reader may obferve here, that when men have invented a religion, it must be supported, and men must be drove into it by the fame affumed carnal authority by which it was invented. They have no notion of the Spirit's fufficiency to lead people into all truth, therefore they will drive them into lies by violence, or ftarve them out of the truth by cruelty. W. H. S. S.

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