foolish; but then, it was a love-match, -and, and our dear Patty is so amiable.".

"Yes, so amiable," said Myrtilla, burning with a dozen different passions.

"And so gentle," added he. "Yes, and so gentle," echoed she. "And then," said he, "there is no accounting for tastes."

"Exactly so," said she, "no accounting for tastes. This, too, I must say, that I part with our dear Patty most reluctantly; no girl, I do assure you, was more adroit at dressing hair; and never yet did I detect her in a theft beyond a pin-cushion."

If Myrtilla ever felt any particular desire to knock a man down, it was Wildwood at that moment. However, she contented herself with a bitter smile of great satisfaction.

Just then in came Patty, curtseying and looking down, and hesitating her steps. Wildwood advanced, and taking her hand, introduced her formally to Myrtilla. The latter congratulated her as well as human nature could do in such an extremity, and begged of her to sit down. The bride plumped into a chair.

"And now tell me, Myrtilla," said she," had you never any suspicion of our little courtship?"

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Why, to be candid," answered Myrtilla, I did imagine at times I could perceive something particular between you."

"Ah, sly one !" exclaimed Patty. "That accounts for your having so often tried to raise my jealousy." "I" cried Myrtilla. "Ay, you. Wer'nt you always praising husband, and saying as how he was the handsomest, properest young fellow”

"I confess," said Myrtilla, much embarrassed," I did sometimes say things of the kind, just in order to try you.'

"But, mind now," resumed the bride, "I depend upon you to patronize or matronize me, or whatever you call it, into high life. And I must get music masters, and learn to waltz or valtz-or whatever you call it; and I must perfect myself in the passingby curtsey, and the side-long curtsey, and the right-down curtsey, and all the little curtsies. And I must get a whole heap of new dresses too."

"Ay," cried Myrtilla, eager for a hit at the ci-devant waiting-maid, "white satin, with a border of roses. Why, now, my dear, how came you, a married lady, to fly into such a pas sion, just because I gave my servant Susan an old satin slip?"

"Old!" exclaimed Mrs Montalbert; "ecod, you never wore it six times in your life; and it was the most deceitfullest thing ever done to a poor sarvant; and though I don't value your casts-off one brass farthing, I'll have you to know—”

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"My life, my love!" interrupted Wildwood, you forget yourself strangely."

"Let her go on," said Myrtilla, laughing," she diverts me beyond

measure."

"Divert the devil," cried Patty, "you are as mad as Bedlam at Mr Montalbert's having deserted you, and you are dying for love of him, and—”

"I desire you will desist, Patty," cried Wildwood, who now feared the jest was going too far.

"I leave you with your precious creature," said Myrtilla, " and wish you all the happiness you deserve;" and out she sprang.

Wildwood, after cautioning Patty not to discover the mystification till he saw her again, hastened down

stairs.

On entering the coffee-room, he found Adderape and an old gentleman there.

"This is Sir Frankley Wildwood,'

said Adderape;" and business having brought him hither, I called him in here for the purpose of introducing you. Mr Montalbert, sir, an old and esteemed acquaintance; he has done us the favour of saying he will sup with us to-night."

To describe the feelings of Wildwood, at thus finding himself in his father's presence for the first time since his infancy, is impossible. Fortunately, prudence interposed, and with evident agitation, he made the formal obeisance of a stranger. They sat down, and Wildwood endeavoured, as well as his perturbed state would permit, to make a favourable impression upon his parent. In fact, he was proceeding in high style, when, to his utter dismay, the voice of his old tormentor, Verity, sounded outside. Up he jumped instinctively, and bolted the door.

"What is the matter?" exclaimed Sir Frankley.

"Only an old servant of mine," replied Wildwood, "who has crazy fits, and, I fear, may molest you.”

Verity now tried the door, and finding it fastened, vociferated, "Sir Frankley, Sir Frankley Wildwood!"

"It is the voice of old Verity," said Sir Frankley. "I remember it well."

"Truc," replied Wildwood, "he once lived with you; and the fact is, your son's profligacy has turned his brain; indeed, so much so, that of late he takes me, ay, and twenty others, for Mr Henry Wildwood."

Verity now began knocking still louder, and exclaiming, "Will nobody let me in ?”

I must see the poor wretch," said Sir Frankley.

"Better not," replied Wildwood. He will probably take you for your

own son."

"No matter," said the other, "I wish to make some enquiries about

Harry;" and he went to the door and opened it.

My dear honoured master," cried Verity," that I ha'nt seen these twenty years !"

"Poor good old soul," said Sir Frankley, "I rejoice at this meeting."

"Let us all rejoice," cried Verity. "And if you haven't forgiven him already, forgive him now."

"Whom, my friend, whom?" "Your son, sir, your son. Here, take his hand, be friends, be friends." "You see how 'tis," whispered Wildwood.

"Pray, good Verity," said Sir Frankley, "compose yourself, and tell me something about my son. Where is the wretched boy now?"

"Where?" exclaimed Verity. "Zooks, here, here, here!" "Recal your wandering senses, man," said Wildwood.

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Why, you young dog," exclaimed Verity, "do you deny that Sir Frankley Wildwood is your father?" "Of course I do," replied Wildwood.

"By the mother that bore me," cried Verity, "this beats all the world! A young reprobate, who came down here for the special purpose of contriving an interview with his father, and now the moment he has obtained it, confound me, but he disowns him, smack!"

"What is my name, Adderape?" said Wildwood.'

"Tom Montalbert. Every one knows Tom Montalbert."

"Tom Fiddlestick!" cried Verity. "And you, it seems, are that Adderape, the scoundrel of a step-brother.

Here is a job now. Denying his own father Sir Frankley, making high fellow well met with his deadly foe, Adderape, and christening himself Tom Montalbert! Death alive, am I in my senses?"

"I regret to say," replied Sir Frankley, "that you are not. So pray,

my friend, retire till you can recover yourself."

Ay, retire," said Wildwood. "And don't collect a crowd about me, as you did about the blind fiddler yesterday, when you swore pointblank he was Harry Wildwood, and forced two bottles of claret upon him in the open street."

"I had no notion you were such a villain!" exclaimed Verity.

"Silence, sir," said Wildwood, "I command you not to open your lips upon that mad subject again."

"Mighty well, Master Harry, 'tis mighty well. I am silent. Howsomever, time may come when you will give your eyes for me to speak upon it; but I'll be silent,-remember that, dumb as a mouse,-remember that-Tom Montalbert!"

And with these words, old Verity stalked indignantly out of the room.

The party sat a short time longer; and in the course of conversation Wildwood found, that his mistress, Myrtilla, was actually going on a visit to his sister Blanche, and had only stopped at the inn till Sir Frankley should send his carriage for her. This being now announced, Sir Frankley and Adderape took their leave, after reminding Wildwood of his engage

ment.

Our hero was soon after joined by Clermont, to whom he related all that had occurred; and they then began to scheme, in good earnest, about their evening manœuvres at Sir Frankley's. Long was the debate, and difficult the adjustment, but at length they decided upon the following plan. Clermont had a groom and a valet, the one vulgar and stupid enough, the other smart and saucy. These two, then, for want of more efficient performers, they resolved to bedizen out in foreign costumes, which Clermont had brought from Russia, instal them a nobleman and a baronet, and introduce them at Sir Frankley's as the per

sonages whom Wildwood had cheated at play.

"Égad, though," said Clermont, 66 as both our mistresses are now at Sir Frankley's, if we do not take good care, they will flirt with the groom and valet."

"No doubt they will," replied Wildwood, "since I shall introduce my friends as a marquis and a baronet. But so much the better. For just when our coquettes are in the act of enjoying our jealousy, and praising our vulgar rivals to make us mad, lo! the coronet and bloody hand shall suddenly be metamorphosed into hatbands and board-wages."

Clermont now hastened to give his groom and valet some intimation of the brilliant career destined for them; and as he had himself some business in the village, he sent them to Wildwood, that they might receive farther instructions.

Accordingly, the groom and valet made their appearance in the coffeeroom.

"My name is Prime, sir," began the smarter of the two, "this is Mr Slink, and master has sent us here to rehearse our parts."

"Well then, gentleman," said Wildwood," for I must now give you the habit of hearing yourselves called by that title."

"As you say, sir," interrupted Prime," we must even inure ourselves to it as well as we can. But, sir, under favour, there is such difficulty now-a-days in acting the gentleman, for want of good models." "Well, sir?”

"And our fellow-sarvants might think as how we were disgracing the livery, sir."

"Well?"

"And our characters being all we have to depend upon, sir." "Pray, Mr Prime, whither does this preamble tend?"

"Plainly then, sir," answered

Prime, "master has promised us ten pounds a-piece for shamming gentle men; and we don't think the sum half enough, considering the sacrifice."

"Here is a special fellow!" cried Wildwood. "Why, sir, there are hundreds of gentlemen about town not worth quarter the money. But come, I will intercede for ten pounds more, provided you perform your parts well."

"Thank you kindly, sir," said Slink. "To do you justice, Mr Slink, said Wildwood, "you seem somewhat less cunning and artful than your friend Prime."

Ay, bless your heart," returned Slink, "I'm quite a mere natural, unfisticated poor sarvant."

"If so, my friend," returned Wildwood, "I fear you stand but a bad chance of these additional ten pounds." "Oddsheart, sir," cried Slink, "don't you be alarmed. For considering I'm only half-witted, I'm a surprising keen hand. Bless you, why, I cheats the whole kitchen at cribbage. Doesn't I, Prime?" And he whispered, "Put in a good word for me, can't you?"

"Ay, sure," said Prime," he knows the backs of the four aces, before the cards are a month in use."

"Ees," cried Slink, chuckling. "I marks 'em with my thumb-nail, and then gets the scratches off by heart." "Pha!" said Wildwood, wishing to try how far he would go, "you may have wit enough to cheat the servants, but, I warrant, you have not cleverness enough to cheat your mas ter."

"By the mass then," answered Slink, "I can tell you I does him over nicely."

"A mere brag, sir," said Prime. "The poor soul hasn't one thought beyond minding his business."

'Tis a scandalous lie," cried

Slink; "and I'll leave it to master himself, if I minds my business at all."

"Why, really," said Wildwood, laughing," you are so anxious to get yourself a bad name, that I do think you will make an excellent man of fashion."

"Thank you with all my soul, sir," said Slink; and turning to Prime, cried out, "There now, you dog!"

Wildwood then gave Prime some directions; and Slink, who stood on thorns all the time, at length said, "And pray, sir, what sort of a gentleman am I to be?"

"You, Slink! you are to be a

lord."

"Oh, Lord," said Slink, "that is quite another thing! But now, sir, putting case, that the young ladies happen just to fancy my fizognomony, and beguile me into a chat,-mayn't I be agreeable?"

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Certainly," answered Wildwood. "You may even talk about the tender passion, and hint that you would feel no particular objection to an engagement of marriage."

"Ees, I wull," said Slink.

"Of course," continued Wildwood, "you know what the tender passion signifies ?"

"No more than my heels," answered Slink.

"At least," said Wildwood," an engagement of marriage is plain enough."

"Parfectly," replied Slink." An engagement means a battle, and so an engagement of marriage must mean a battle between man and wife."

Wildwood, who saw the folly of attempting to drill this idiot, advised him to speak as little as possible; and then, after some farther admonitions, dismissed the hopeful pair.

Evening came, the ladies were in expectation; Clermont had already arrived, and while he sat by Blanche,

who seemed anxious to make atonement for past caprices, the servant announced Mr Montalbert and his friends.

Instantly after, Wildwood entered the room, followed by Prime and Slink, who, dressed in an outlandish fashion, and decorated with stars and ribbons, exhibited a most awful and important presence.

Wildwood introduced Prime as Sir Pompey Daggercrest, and Slink as Lord Mushroomstown.

Tea and coffee were handed round, but neither the Marquis nor the Baronet could yet muster words beyond a "yes" and a "no." At length, Myrtilla, who sat next to Prime, made him observe a fine painting opposite.

"As you are a traveller, Sir Pompey," said she, "I suppose you have acquired a taste for pictures."

Split the pictures, madam," replied Prime, resolving to take courage, "I am all for-the ladies," and he bowed.

"I am quite amazed," said Myrtilla, as well she might.

"Madam," answered Prime, "I am amazed at nothing but-the ladies." He thought he could not be much out, while he stuck to that compliment.

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"Then, I presume," continued Myrtilla, you have travelled not so much to measure pillars and pyramids, as to remark how the forms and proportions of the human race differ in different countries."

"Madam," answered Prime," some men travel into some countries to see some things, and other men travel into other countries to see other things. One man feels a particular desire to see ten thousand miles, so sets off on a fine summer's morning, and takes the tour of Europe. Why, now, there was a friend of mine, Lord Herculaneum Torso, who went all the

way to Egypt, for the special purpose of seeing a needle."

"A needle!" exclaimed Myrtilla. "Ay, madam, one Cleopatra's needle, they call it; and egad, judging from its size, she threaded it with a cable, and she was a rare strapping sempstress herself."

"Like Mahomet's Houris in the Khoran," said Myrtilla, "fifty miles high, depend upon it."

"Thank you for the comparison, madam," said Prime, " since 'tis about the ladies.”

In the meanwhile Blanche had a more difficult card to play with my Lord Mushroomstown, who, for a considerable time, could say nothing at all, though he assured her, "he was a decent-spoken man enough, when he got some'at acquainted."

Blanche could not avoid laughing at this his first essay to string ten words together.

"I beg pardon, marquis," said she, "but the fact is, I am laughing to think, that I cannot, for my life, hit upon a subject of conversation. Pray, do, my lord, assist me."

"I will take a try, howsomdever," "said his lordship. "Suppose now we just talk a bit about the tender passion."

"I dare say your lordship is well acquainted with it," answered Blanche, " but I am not, so let us choose some other."

"Well," cried Slink, who now felt himself getting on considerably, "if you are for an engagement of marriage, he, he! I think I am up to that. I am some'at at home thereabouts."

"My lord," said Blanche, " since your evident object in this visit is to insult me

"Oddshead, that an't my object at all," said Slink; "I was only brought here to tell Sir Frankley some bad stories about his son, nothing else, upon my conscience."