PREFACE.

IN presenting to the public the history of the last twelve months of my life, I have not been prompted by vanity. My adventures had been of so extraordinary and wonderful a nature, that they would interest the reader even as a romance; how much more then must they interest him as a true story?

But reasons of a more important nature than the amusement of the reader have determined me to publish the history of that year. All Germany, and I may venture to add a considerable part of Europe, have expressed some interest in my fate, arising either from motives of curiosity, or from a principle of benevolence. It has been everywhere asked, what could have been the cause of my banishment? The effect was too striking not to induce an inquiry into the cause. A thousand tales have been invented and propagated. A book entitled, according to the reports of some, The White Bear,' according to others, The Bear of the North,' has been ascribed to my pen. There are people too, who pretend to have read it. Some maintain that this book was written by another person, whose name began with the same letter as mine, and that I was the victim of this mistake. Others there are, who lay indiscreet conversations to my charge; while others again, attribute my banishment to certain satirical passages, which they have discovered in some of my

pieces composed ten years ago. Among a variety of conjectures, no one, however, imagined the real cause, which originated solely in a momentary impulse of suspicion I conceive then, that in justice to my reputation, my children, and my friends, I ought to relate frankly, and with the strictest regard to truth, every circumstance relative to the affair; and thus rectify the various conjectures of which I have been the subject.

There is still another important obligation which renders this task necessary. To the monarch, whose conduct respecting me has been so generally and so severely censured, I owe, not indeed a justification of that conduct, but a publication of the exalted generosity with which he acknowledged and repaired the wrongs he had done me. I do not consider as reparation the rich presents I have received from him, and which have been so much exaggerated in the newspapers; for presents cost monarchs little, and titles cost them nothing. What I deem reparation, is the manner in which he conferred those favours, and in which he sought me out, treated, and conversed with me. Such conduct would have rendered even a private individual dear and amiable in my estimation; how much more so then the sovereign of a mighty empire! One virtue he possessed, which is seldom found in common life, and still more rarely on a throne: he was ever ready to acknowledge, voluntarily, the wrongs he had committed; and he repaired them, not as an emperor, but as a man.

Another duty, as sacred as that which commands me to honour the memory of an emperor who is now no more, still farther prompts me to take up the pen, namely, gratitude to the reigning monarch, whose clemency and humanity are above all praise. He it is who has restored me to an infirm and aged mother, and to the muses. He it is who, adding to the beneficence of his father, has made me for ever his faithful subject, even beyond the limits of his empire.

May his reign be happy! May every day of his life resemble that of his accession to the throne, to which I was witness! And may he long live the joy and admiration of a people who adore him!

Such were the motives which induced me to compose the following sheets, and to offer them to the perusal of the public.

September 1801.

VOL. I.

T

THF

MOST REMARKABLE YEAR OF

MY LIFE, &c.

THREE years had nearly elapsed since my wife and myself quitted Russia. The flattering reception we met with there strengthened the endearing ties which held us to the north: there we had children, relations, and friends; it was also the native country of my wife. I had promised her, that in the course of three years I would conduct her there again; and I was proud to keep my word. The journey, it is true, tore me away from a mother justly beloved, from a circle of worthy friends, and a little possession at Weimar but the separation was only to be for four months; it was merely a visit necessary to the health and happiness of my wife, who passionately desired to see her native home once more.

The free ingress into the Russian territories being interrupted, it was indispensably necessary to provide myself with a passport from the emperor. Of this I was aware, and applied to baron de Krudener, privy counsellor to his imperial majesty, and his minister at the court of Berlin. The baron, in answer to my letter, informed me that he would instantly lay my request before his court, but that I should do well to make direct application at the same time myself. In consequence of this I wrote to the emperor, explained the object of my journey, stated that my property in Russia required my presence there, and entreated his