To the FARCE of the MAN-MILLINER.
Enter haftily, Mrs. Mattocks, with a band box.
ORGIVE me, Sirs, that I come in thus bounce!
You know me, Ladies-your old friend, La Flounce:
Sov'reign of Fancy, Regent of the Mode,
To all your wants and wishes toute commode;
For artificial fprigs a Winter Flora,
With rouge that gives the blufhes of Aurora;
A Woman Milliner! for fure no Man
Would be a Milliner, or ever can.
Horfe-Milliner, indeed, a Man's true trade is;
But, faucy grooms, fuch trappings fuit not ladies.
Yet Men affail our persons several ways,
They make our Mantuas, and they make our Stays;
And though to Curry-Combs we scorn to truckle,
They frize toupees, and give the locks their buckle.
Hence ftrange reverses rife and we're betray'd,
By turns, their neighbour province to invade;
Husbands the Distaff take; Wives feize the Club,
At home their patient Hercules to drub:
While Sir appears fo feminine and trim,
And Madam looks fo mafculine and grim,
You scarce know him from her, or her from him.
In changes thus if humbler ranks should strive, Maid fervants foon will mount the Box and drive; Or elfe, to Reason and Decorum blind,
Seifing a place unfit for woman-kind,
With flambeaux in their hands, jump up behind.
While Footmen, women grown, as now grown Fops,
Shall darn old hofe, fweep rooms, and trundle mops.
Ladies and Gentlemen, 'tis your's to-night
To end difputes, and fet the fexes right;
To check the inroads of the Tyrant Man,
And keep within due bounds the Woman's Plan.
Let me then, as a Female Envoy greet ye,
And here negociate a Commercial Treaty!
Forbid the Men, by fome reftraining Claufe,
To deal in Ribbands, Muflin, Blond, and Gause;
Bid Women too, refign the Barber's trade,
And cease to shave the Guards on the Parade!
Equal to Male and Female fhow compaffion,
Affert what's right, and laugh it into Fashion!
AYI come in?-The Prompter bids me enter-.
And yet, I vow, I'm half afraid to venture.
Advancing.]
"Be your eyes wet? yes, faith!-nay truce with forrow!
Julia's quite well, and dies again To-morrow.
To-morow did I fay? To-morrow's Sunday:
So, if you please, fhe'll die again on Monday.
I've heard the Tragedy with ftrict attention-
The Tale they say is fact, and no invention:
And while deep Criticks ponder on its merits,
I'll tell you how it acted on my spirits.
As by the Scenes I took my filent ftand,
Each Act that past I hail'd this happy land!
Bards who from history or fiction glean,
Rarely in England place the Tragick Scene:
Led by the Muse they fail o'er diftant feas,
Scale Alps on Alps, or pierce the Pyrenees:
Abroad in fearch of Cruelties they roam;
Follies and Frailties may be found at home.
Paffions in warmer climes that fiercely burn,
Here lofe their rançour, and to humours turn;
Not cank'ring inwards with a treach'rous ftealth,
Break nobly out, and keep the foul in health.
No Lovers here, contending for a Wife,
Mix pois'nous bowls, or draw the murd'rer's knife;
No Julia here fhould find her virgin fame
Arraign'd for crimes the fhudders but to name;
Safe from fuch horrors in a generous nation,
Where Madness only dreams Affaffination.
No! tho' the moonlight walk, and precious Picture,
Conspire with jealous Fulvia to convict her;
Tried, fairly tried, in our High Court of Drury,
She'll ftand acquitted by an English Jury.
Wife was the man, who each returning morn
Thank'd his kind ftars he was in England born;
And wifer ftill the Fair, that lot poffeffing,
Who proves she knows the value of the Bleffing:
With pity who beholds poor Julia's fate,
Yet prizes, as the ought, her happier state;
The charms of English worth who can discover,
And never wifh for an Italian Lover.
I did not know that the pen of Malice or Slander had afcribed the fuppreffion of this Epilogue at the Theatre to the pretended Indelicacy of its contents,
contents, till I had feen the generous Vindication of it by another hand. The Epilogue was written at the particular instance of a very worthy friend of Mr. Jephfon, by whom and by the author it was received with cordial thanks and the warmeft approbation. Mrs. Siddons however feeming to expect the Epilogue, her Importance to the Piece rendered the friends of the Author unwilling to queftion her Claim, and a few alterations were made in the introductory lines, which the change of the Supposed Speaker required.-Suppofed, for Mrs. Siddons, after keeping the Epilogue fome days, returned it with a declaration that he would not speak it; and a request of another. The alterations, with an additional couplet, occurred between the 6th and 13th lines, and are here fubjoined with the variations printed in Italicks.
You've heard the tragedy with due attention-
The tale they say is fact, and no invention.
How ill our Bard has touch'd it, or how well,
Many fage Criticks will precifely tell :
Let me then, while they ponder on its merits,
Say how it mov'd a Patriot Female's spirits,
While crimes like thefe on foreign records ftand,
How warmly must we hail this happy land!
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