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A DOCTOR lately was a captain made.
During Lord Malmesbury's negotiations at Lisle, there was publishcd, in a Manchester paper, an advertisement of the sale of an estate, in which the advertiser announces that “he is appointed plenipotentiary to treat in this business; that he has ample credentials, and is prepared to verify his powers ; that he will enter into preliminaries either on the principle of the status quo or the uti possidetis ; that he is ready to receive the projet of any person desirous of making a purchase or exchange, and to deliver his contre-projet and sine qua non, or even at once to give his ultimatum, assuring the public, that, as soon as the definitive treaty shall be concluded, it will be ratified by his constituents, and duly guarantied.”
Between the pulpit and the bar,
While thus you hesitate and trife,
Johnny, indeed you waste your life ill.
If toward the church your zeal draws strong,
Three curacies are just now vacant.
Rouze up, and try what you can make on't.
Let us, at least, an efort see.
Be something, any thing, for money.
You're likely to be nothing, Jolinny.
The following poetical compliment is ascribed to Horace Walpole. Courtiers like him, Lord Bolingbroke, Lord Chesterfield, and Lord Littleton, have a peculiar power of gallantly addressing the ladies, in a manner of which no vulgar mortal can have the least concep tion. Ed.
What a rout do you make for a single sweet kiss!
I seized it, 'tis true, and I ne'er shall repent it.
But for me, I thank dear Cytherea who sent it.
You may pout, and look prettily cross; but I pray,
What business so near to my lips had your cheek?
Saints, resist if you can; but for me, I'm too weak.
But come, dearest Delia, our quarrel let's end ;
Nor will I by force, what you gave not, retain.
If you say that I siole it, why take it again.
The following anecdote is perfectly well pointed :
A minister of state once related to a courtier the ridiculous manner in which the public councils are held in some of the nations of Africa. In the council chamber are placed twelve jar's, half full of water. Twelve statesmen enter naked, and, stalking along with great gravity, each leaps into his jar, and immerses liimself up to the chin, and in this attitude, well adapted for cool reflection, they deliberate on national affairs. You do not smile, continued the minister. No, rejoined the courtier, I sce at home, every day a more ridiculous thing than this. Pray what ? returned the minister. A country, replied the other, where the jars alone get in council.
Dr. Robertson, the historian, in the course of conversation with Horace Walpole, said, you must know, sir, that I look upon myself as a moderate whig. Mr. Walpole replied, Yes, doctor, I look upon you as a very moderate wbig
When a noted state criminal was tried at Edinburgh, for sedition, the
No. Do you lord justice Clark asked him, Hae you ony counsel, mon ? want to hae ony appointed. I only want an interpreter, to make me understand what your lordship says.
A gentleman being informed that two of his female relations had quarrel. ed, asked, Did they call each other ugly? No. Well, well, I shall soon. reconcile them,
Lord Kelly, once asking one of your gentle shepherds for a toast, be gave Mirth and Innocence. The next toast being his lordship's, be gave Milk and Water.
The late Dr. Wilson, fellow of Trinity college, Dublin, in passing, through the quadrangle one morning, met sone wild Irish students, who passed without saluting bim. The doctor called to one of these Ilored sparks, and asked him, Do you know who I am, sii? No. How log have you been in college ? Eight days. Oh! very well, said the doctor, walking off, puppies dont open their eyes till the ninth day.
A PICTURE of a certain divine, well known by the nickname of Snake, having appeared at one of the exhibitions of the Royal Academy, the following pungent paragraph, published in a morning paper, was made the subject of a prosecution in the Court of King's Bench, when lord Mansfield observed that he should be apt to excuse the libel for the sake of the wit.
“ An artist admires the picture of the reverend parson Snake, in the exhibition, where he is drawn at full length, in a beautiful landscape, with a large tree, and attended by his faithful Fidel. He thinks, however, the tree wants execution, and that the painter has not done justice to the dog.
George II one day, sent, in a rage, for Mr. Pelham, to know why the civil list was not paid. Mr. Pelham said the money, destined for it, had been appropriated to another use, then more urgent. The king, with an oath, told Mr. P. that if he would not pay it, another minister should be selected who would. I shall not, said the sovereign, tamely consent to be the only master in the kingdom, who does not pay his servants.
A gentleman, haranguing on the perfection of the English law, and of its being equally open to the poor and the rich, was answered by his friend, So is the devil tavern.
The late witty earl of Kelly, in the younger part of his life, was terribly addicted to dissipation. One day 'his mother took him very severely to task for a debauch, and advised him to profit by the example of a certain gentleman, wliose constant food was vegetables, and his drink pure water. What! Madam, said his Lordship, do you wish me to imitate a man, who eats, like a beast, and drinks, like 12 fish.
The same nobleman was once amusing his friends with an account of a sermon he had heard in Italy, in which the priest related the miracle of St. Antony, when preaching on shipboard, attracting the fishes, which, in order to hear his pious discourse, held their heads out of the water. I can perfectly believe the miracle, said Harry Erskine. How so? Why, when your Lordship was at church, there was, at Jeast, one fish out of the water.
One day, when Mr. Woodward and Mr. King were walking through the streets of Liverpool, where they were then performing, a chimney sweeper and his boy came up. The boy stopped and stared at them, and although his master called to him several times to come along, he still stood at a gaze, and, at length, exclaimed, Why they be players. Hold your tongue, you dog, said the old sweep, you dont know what you may come to yourself.
The Russian minister for the home department, has communicated to the Imperial academy of Petersburg, the following account of a meteoric stone, weighing about one hundred and sixty pounds, that fell in the circle of Ichnow, in the government of Smolensko.
“ In the afternoon of the 13th of March, 1807, a very violent claj of thunder was heard in that district. Two peasants, in the village of Timochim, being in the fields at the time, say, that at the instant of this tremendous report, they saw a large black stone fall about forty paces from them. They were stunned for a few minutes, but, as soon as they recovered themselves, ran towards the place, where the stone fell. They could not discover it, however, it had penetrated so deeply into the snow. On their report, sereral persons went to the spot, and got out the stone, which was above two feet beneath the surface of the snow. It was of an oblong shape, blackish, like cast iron, very smooth on all parts, and on one side resembling a coffin. On its fat surfaces were very fine radii resembling brass wire. Its fracture was of an ashen grey. Being conveyed to tlie synınasium of Smolensko, a pro- fessor of natural philosoply there considered it at once as ferruginou!
from the simple observation of its being extremely friable, and staining the fingers. The particles of which it is composed, contain a great deal of lime and sulphuric acid.
“On the 19th of April, 1808, at one o'clock in the afternoon, a great quantity of meteorolites fell in the commune of Pieve di Casignano, in the department of Taro (formerly the dutchess of Parma, and Placentia). The air was calm and the sky serene, but with a few clouds. Two loud explosions were heard, followed by several less violent, after which, several stones fell. A farmer, who was in the fields, saw one fall about fifty paces from iiim, and bury itself in the ground. It was burning hot. A fragment of one of these stones is deposited in the museum at Paris.
The cultivation of the cotton-tree, as well as of the sweet potato, from St. Domingo, has been introduced in the southern departments of France:
We have so much respect for the Rolliad, one of the wittiest of local and temporary satires, and for the Fugitive, legitimate comedy, justly praised by the exquisite taste of Mr. Sheridan, that we are delighted to find à complete edition of the works of their admirable author thus announced: Literary Relics of the late Joseph Richardson, Esq. formerly of St.
John's College, Cambridge, Barrister, and Member of Parliament for Newport, in Cornwall.
THESE remains of a gentleman highly esteemed and admired by his friends, who were unfortunately, deprived of him, while he might be said to be in the prime of life, consist of the comedy of the Fugitive, and a few short poenis, which were chiefly college exercises. The Fugitive is a work, that shows a degree of intellectual power, which surpasses most of those authors who may be considered as tlie dramatic corps of the day, the body guards of theatrical mo