Sad news in the papers-G―d knows who's to blame !
The colonies seem to be all in a flame-

This stamp act, no doubt, might be good for the crown,
But I fear tis a pill that will never go down-
What can Portugal mean !—is she going to stir up
Convulsions and heats in the bowels of Europe?
"Twill be fatal if England relapses again,

From the ill blood and humours of Bourbon and Spain.'

Says I- My good doctors, I can't understand

Why the deuce ye take so many patients in hand;
Ye've a great deal of practice, as far as I find;
But since ye're come hither, do pray be so kind
To write me out something that's good for the wind.
No doubt ye are all of ye great politicians,

But at present my bowels have need of physicians :
Consider my case in the light it deserves,

And pity the state of my stomach and nerves.'

But a tight little doctor began a dispute About administrations, Newcastle, and Bute, Talk'd much of œconomy, much of profuseness : Says another-This case, which at first was a looseness, Is become a Tenesmus, and all we can do

Is to give him a gentle cathartic or two;

First get off the phlegm that adheres to the Plicæ, Then throw in a med'cine that's pretty and spicy; A peppermint draught,-or a-Come let us begone, We have another bad case to consider at one.'

So thus they brush'd off, each his cane at his nose, When Jenny came in, who had heard all their prose; 'I'll teach them, (says she,) at their next consultation, To come and take fees for the good of the nation.'

I could not conceive what the devil she meant, But she seiz'd all the stuff that the doctor had sent, And out of the window she flung it down souse, As the first politician went out of the house. Decoctions and syrups around him all flew, The pill, bolus, julep, and apozem too; His wig had the luck a cathartic to meet, And squash went the gallipot under his feet. She said 'twas a shame I should swallow such stuff, When my bowels were weak, and the physic so rough; Declar'd she was shock'd that so many should come To be doctor'd to death such a distance from home, At a place where they tell you that water alone Can cure all distempers that ever were known.

A PUBLIC BREAKFAST.

[IBID.]

WH

HAT blessings attend, my dear mother, all those Who to crowds of admirers their persons expose! Do the gods such a noble ambition inspire; Or gods do we make of each ardent desire? O generous passion! 'tis yours to afford The splendid assembly, the plentiful board : To thee do I owe such a breakfast this morn, As I ne'er saw before since the hour I was born; 'Twas you made my Lord Ragamuffin come here, Who they say has been lately created a Peer, And to-day with extreme complaisance and respect, ask'd

All the people at Bath to a general breakfast.

You've heard of my Lady Bunbutter, no doubt, How she loves an assembly, fandango, or rout: No lady in London is half so expert

At a snug private party her friends to divert;

But they say that, of late, she's grown sick of the town, And often to Bath condescends to come down :

Her ladyship's favourite house is the Bear;

Her chariot, and servants, and horses are there.

My Lady declares that retiring is good;

As all with a separate maintenance should:
For when you have put out the conjugal fire,
"Tis time for all sensible folk to retire :
If Hymen no longer his fingers will scorch,
Little Cupid for others can whip in his torch,
So pert is he grown, since the custom began
To be married and parted as quick as you can.

Now my Lord had the honour of coming down post, Το pay his respect to so famous a toast;

In hopes he her Ladyship's favour might win,
By playing the part of a host at an inn.
I'm sure he's a person of great resolution,
Though delicate nerves, and a weak constitution;
For he carried us all to a place 'cross the river,
And vow'd that the rooms were too hot for his liver:
He said it would greatly our pleasure promote,

If we all for Spring Gardens set out in a boat.

I never as yet could his reason explain,
Why we all sallied forth in the wind and the rain,
For sure such confusion was never yet known;
Here a cap and a hat, there a cardinal blown :
While his Lordship, embroider'd and powder'd all o'er,
Was bowing and handing the ladies ashore.

How the misses did huddle and scuddle, and run ;
One would think to be wet must be very good fun;

For by waggling their tails, they all seem'd to take pains
To moisten their pinions like ducks when it rains;
And 'twas pretty to see how, like birds of a feather,
The people of quality flock'd all together;
All pressing, addressing, caressing and fond,
Just the same as those animals are in a pond.
You've read all their names in the news, I suppose,
But, for fear you have not, take the list as it goes:
There was Lady Greasewrister,

And Madam Van-Twister,

Her Ladyship's sister.

Lord Cram, and Lord Vulter,

Sir Brandish O'Culter,

With Marshal Carouzer,

And Old Lady Mouzer,

And the great Hanoverian Baron Pansmowzer.
Besides many others, who all in the rain went,
On purpose to honour this great entertainment.
The company made a most brilliant appearance,
And ate bread and butter with great perseverance,
All the chocolate too, that my Lord set before 'em
The ladies dispatch'd with the utmost decorum.
Soft musical numbers were heard all around,
The horns and the clarions' echoing sound:
Sweet were the strains, as od'rous gales that blow
O'er fragrant banks, where pinks and roses grow.