then to fix with awful intensity on Mr. Spatula ; | classes, the devotion of poor men to their rich concluding the exhibition by sliding down on her back, and drumming the Rogue's March on the floor with her heels.

Mr. Spatula's old medical habits burst forth on the moment; he threw down his dear bills, routed out his lancets, and was by the side of the senseless witness in half a minute, perfectly prepared to bleed, bleed, bleed, to the last drop. Mr. Mouldy well aware that nothing more could be on this occasion elicited from the witness, and sufficiently satisfied in his suspicions to prompt him to continue his researches after the lost will, permitted Martha to be carried out of the court; and Spatula, having resigned his new patient into the hands of the village apothecary, returned to his judicial seat to sum up the evidence and charge the inquest.

Not being readers of the Early Purl, the only paper whose reporter was allowed to be present during the inquest, it is impossible to present to our friends a full, true, and particular account of the learned doctor's speech. Our memory, however, will supply us with the heads of that remarkable oration-an oration as remarkable for its length as for the variety of the topics introduced into it—and what it must have been, we shall be able to guess, when we remember its effect on the twelve jurymen as demonstrated in the verdict.

tyrants, and the cold, unfeeling, uncharitable, unchristian conduct of the aristocracy—the entire excursus being the greater part of the learned gentleman's last harangue at the Cat and Whistle, on the enormities of New Bastiles, water-gruel, dry rooms, and clean beds. Mr Spatula, in conclusion, after alluding to Draco's sanguinary code-Norfolk Islands, the hulks, and solitary confinement, and informing his jury and the audience in general of his view of punishments, and how that he would punish murderers by transportation for life, informed the twelve wise men, that after the luminous manner in which the evidence had been summed up by him, and the elaborate way in which he had laid down the common sense of the affair, they would not be many minutes in returning their verdict.

After some short consultations among themselves, the jury requested, much to the coroner's surprise, to be allowed to retire, and it was not until nearly three-quarters of an hour had elapsed that they returned and gave in, through their foreman, the following sensible verdict.

'We find that John Sampson came to his death by a pistol, but there is no evidence to prove that the pistol was loaded-we also find the prisoner guilty of transportation for life.'

the case, and also furnished them with a proper form, they once more deliberated and found, that John Sampson came to his death from a pistol, but that there was no evidence to prove by whom the same was fired.' And this verdict having been duly registered, the assembly departed for their several works, and restored the Hog and Codfish to its usual state of peaceful tranquillity.

CHAPTER VIII.

After Mr. Spatula had explained to the enThe learned coroner commenced his address, lightened twelve that their verdict was rather by informing the jury that they were to deter-wrong, and that there was not any prisoner in mine why John Sampson died-from that point he took a short excursion into the nature of life and death, advocated a little materialism and freethinking, gave a few sneers at religion and its ministers and came back rather out of breath to the evidence of the early witnesses. From this he once more digressed into his favourite subject, the election of medical coroners, and spoke of the goddess of anatomy and medicine sitting enthroned on the pedestal whence the idol of legal chicanery had been ignominiously hurled. He then proceeded to consider Dr. M'Gilliflower's evidence, commenting upon the absolute necessity of the legislative wisdomso M. P.'s always talk of themselves-enacting that all doctors and surgeons should proceed regularly from shop-boys to shop-men, from shop-men to masters, and from masters to physicians or surgeons. A pistol,' he said, was heard, one of the combatants was found dead, his body was pierced through, a bullet was found in the room, but there was no evidence to prove who fired the pistol, or whether it was a pistol at all, or whether the pistol was loaded, or whether, if loaded, with the ball which had been found, or whether the ball already found, or the supposed pistol, in any way had contribut ed to the death of the servant. At this part of his charge, Mr. Spatula looked with surprising dignity at Mr. Mouldy, thinking that he was laying down a legal judgment on the evidence, and was greatly surprised at the grave smile which played over the solicitor's countenance. He then eulogized the nurse Martha, spoke of her evident sufferings in her master's cause, of the cruelty of attempting to confound witnesses by legal subtleties, and then went off into a general harangue on the acute feelings of the lower

Our hero determines to reform and retrench, and thereby obtains some slight insight into the say. ings and doings of certain inhabitants of the city of Oxford.

WHILST Spencer, in accordance with the suggestions conveyed to him by his father, in the letter which we have lately read, was making up his mind to submit with the best possible grace to the freaks which fortune seemed likely to play him. and, by resolutely applying his shoulder to the wheel, to extricate himself from his difficulties, the Oxford world was studiously employed in speculating, asserting, contradicting, and deciding on the vastness of the wealth, the number of the acres, the rental of the lands, the stateliness of the mansions, the hundreds of pictures and the cupboards of plate, to which their fortunate Oxonian was immediately to succeed.

By the living Jingo,' lisped the hopeful scion of the house of Mowbray, gentleman commoner

Nothing exclaimed the friends.

Literally nothing. My mother, you perhaps know, was the daughter of a poor country clergyman; the small portion which my father inherited must all be sold to pay off the last quarter's expenses at the hall, and to help me out of my debts.' Expenses at the hall?'

Most inequitable, but I suppose legal,' repli ed Hamilton.

'Of course it is,' grumbled Tom Davis, knocking the white ash from his third cigar,-' of course it is strictly legal,-I never knew a hard case that was not strictly legal.'

'But your debts, Spencer-surely they cannot be very large,' said Gerard Hamilton.

Perhaps not as the heir of River Hill, but very heavy as only the poor but extravagant son of a poor vicar,' replied Spencer.

What's their amount?' inquired Hamilton. 'Much more than I expected-some two hundred and over.'

Humph,' said Hamilton, humph-pretty well for about two months; but come, what do you propose doing?

'Selling off everything here, paying all I owe, or at least as far as I can, and leaving Oxford for ever.'

The news was rapidly and extensively circulated; cards came through the letter-box at a most rapid pace; the reverend the president's blue and yellow servant made anxious inquiries Yes-as my uncle died before his usual day after Mr. Middleton's health; the common-room for payment of his handsome allowance, everyman brought the common-room's compliments thing falls on my father.' and inquiries on the same subject; the senior tutor sent his scout to say he hoped Mr. Middleton would not over excite himself by attending his lectures; whilst the Dean remitted his last week's imposition, and voluntarily gave him at carte blanche for the next seven days. To his friends Davis and Hamilton the whole affair was a matter of perfect astonishment, especially when they contrasted our hero's previous account of his prospects with the reserved manner in which he received the congratulations of his friends and his acquaintances, and seemed studiously to throw cold water on all the many fine compliments which his rumoured good fortune had brought upon him. Bad news always travels fast, and more especially so when treading on the heels of more pleasing intelligence. Doubts began to be expressed; newspapers began to set out dark paragraphs; and when the full account of the inquest appeared in the Early Purl, accompanied with a little special relation from their own correspondent of the supposed loss of the will, hin s grew into assertions, At last, it was not to be denied that a nearer heir than our hero was in existence had put in his claim-nay more, some said he had taken possession of Riverhill-had | been claimed by the Cap of Liberty as one of the people-and unless the will turned up in answer to the proffered reward, was likely to remain in possession. Round went the weathercock. The cards ceased; the president's blue and yellow did not make his morning call; the tutor requestYou must do this-give up being a gentleed Mr. Middleton's attendance at lecture, and man commoner; get out of your present expentried to find fault with his construing, and took sive rooms, ask for and obtain the bible clerkship especial care to disagree with and cavil at every-which Hitchins resigns next term, ascend to his thing he said or did; the dean became religious-garrets, pay off your debts from the produce of ly particular about morning chapels; and the your furniture, and make up your mind to work youthful scion of the Mowbray tree passed his hard for a class, and live on the proceeds of your dear friend Spencer without recognizing him, bible clerkship.' through his shortsightedness; whilst the duns, quick-sighted, or quick-scented as the vulture, came pouncing down on all sides, each eager to have first pick at the fallen prey.

That will not do,' replied Hamilton; 'you must not think of leaving; where else, and in what other way, can you expect to get on?' •If very lucky, 1 may obtain a clerkship in a counting-house,'

'Ay, and keep a cat, send Tommy out to the Sandwich Islands, and set up as a modern Whittington,' said the incorrigible Tom.

'No, no,' said Hamilton, business is not suited for you-you must stay here.'

'I would willingly, if I possibly could but the expense would be ruinous-ridiculous.'

Willingly, willingly, Hamilton, if it can be done,' exclaimed Spencer.

It shall be done-my cousin the vice-president has already hinted to me that the clerkship is at your service if you will apply for it-you say your debts are about two hundred pounds-well, your rooms-Tom Mowbray wants them-will produce half that; can you reasonably expect to be able to provide the rest?' Spencer expressed his doubts.

Indeed it is too true, Hamilton,' said our hero, as he sat over his college fire, and endeavoured to charm away his melancholy by the conversation of Hamilton and Davis, assisted by a bottle of old port. Indeed it is too true, we are ruined; the will which my poor uncle had executed in our favour has been stolen, and although a reward has been 'Very well, then, something else must be done offered, we have not got on its scent yet; the-tell your duns that I guarantee your debts.' heir, a son of my uncle the priest, has claimed, and, as we have no right to resist, must turn us out forthwith; indeed, my mother and Emily have already gone to the parsonage at Wicherly, and my father waits but to deliver up the keys before he joins them.'

The fall is great,' said Gerard, 'but yet there is the vicarage to retire on.'

'And I'll go your halves,' said Davis, 'Come, come, Spencer boy,' he continued don't look so miserable; it will not ruin either of us if you don't pay at all; and if you do, why, confound it, here are we the worse for it after all! why, I

feel more comfortable now.'

Thank you, thank you, my dear friends,' gasped our hero,

score," mutters the fish as he lounges up St. Ald- I Stipple, that, though the latter has treated the gate's, entirely oblivious of the fact, that he has former with unexampled barbarity, and compellalready twice, if not three times before, appro-ed him to dissolve their long and lucrative partpriated a similar sum, if not the self-same one, nership, yet he still retains him as his foreman, mentally at least, to the liquidation of some ear-heads his bills and notices with the old names, lier and more lively ticks.' and retains the original firm over the shop front.' 'Supposing it is a case of convenient death?' suggested Spencer.

'Is that all that comes of the tickling?" said Spencer.

O no, Tom has hardly put him to sleep yet, he'll land him soon,' said Hamilton; he's get ting up his steam for the next train; whirr, whirr, whiz, winiz—off.'

"O then, although poor Mr. Daub has died, much to his partner's pain and grief, yet, wonderous to relate, he has left behind him a twin brother, whom he has recommended to Mr. Stipple, so wondrously like him in voice, look, size, and manner, that every one is tempted to ask him whether he is himself or his brother.'

Well, then, suppose the town agent has run," said Davis, anxious to finish off Gerard and get to work again himself.

'Well,' continued Davis, 'terms roll on, and pictures roll in. "A pet lamb," a "Duke" or two, a “Nature," and half-a-score more "Clara de Guzmans" and "Imoindas," tend to swell the account; but still the day for payment seems, and is in reality, studiously and intentionally deferred by Messrs. Daub and Stipple, who firmly 'Why then,' said Gerard, though Mr. Adams and in a most fascinating manner refuse any par- of Barbican has fled across the herring-pond, yet tial liquidation of the bill, greatly preferring a he has left a brother or cousin of the same name, fresh order for one sovereign to a check for five. a most honourable man, who carries on his busiIn one of the summer terms, a delicate note in-ness, and is Messrs. Daub and Stipple's agent, at forms the victim, that, by the kind permission of the same address and with the self-same christian the painter or the publisher, Sir Theophilus Me- and surname as before.' gilp's last picture will be shown to their numerous friends by Messrs. D. and S. for two days only, previous to its being committed to the hands of that talented engraver, Mr. Copperplate Scratchface. Of course, such an opportunity is not to be lost, consequently Mr. Browning, multis cum aliis, strolls down to speer at the canvass, and to his unwonted astonishment returns a registered future proprietor of a proof impression of Mr. Scratchface's engraving of Sir Theophilus Megilp's most talented picture, "The Toad in a Hole," to be delivered to subscribers early in July.'

'Well, Davis, but at any rate they give immense credit,' observed our hero.

'Just the contrary, Spencer,' said Hamilton; they charge long credit prices on the score of a far-off day of reckoning, and contrive to call in their money within a year and a half, or even less.'

By what means?' asked Spencer.
By convenient losses, sham dissolutions of
partnership, and make-up bankruptcies,' said
Hamilton.

Exactly-as my friend Mr. Trout Browning discovered, when his account had swelled to some forty odd pounds, and the long vacation had set in and given the duns time to be troublesome,' said Tom Davis, trying to continue his tale.

'Whatever the cause may chance to be,' said Davis, returning to his story, the accounts are placed in the hands of Mr. Thomas Screw, jun., accountant, who forthwith sends certain loving epistles to the debtors. By one of these epistles Mr. Browning is informed that Mr. T. Screw is empowered by Messrs. Daub and Stipple-in consequence of their dissolution of partnership— to apply for the immediate payment of the sum of 497. 13s. 6d., the amount of his account with the above firm, and is requested to pay the same within seven days to Messrs. Coutts and Co., Mr. T. Screw's bankers. On the receipt of this kind invitation, (which too often is but one of many of a like nature, as the Long is the rife time for dunning by these means such men as they look upon as nearly drawn dry, "dead men,") Mr. Browning cogitates for a day or two whether he can muster up the ready, and having nine times out of ten decided in the negative, informs Mr. Screw that he is sorry that he cannot have the pleasure of at present settling his account, but hopes to be able to do so on his return in October. At the same time, he hints to his correspondent that he is rather astonished at the application, as Messrs. D. and S. had so frequently refused to let him settle the account in the last term, and also suggests that although he has subscribed for a proof of the "Toad in a Hole," a proof of which he finds included in the account, yet that he has not as yet received his copy; and after all this, he is his obediently, R. Browning.' You must have taken that letter from my

Ay, I suppose Messrs. D. and S.,' said Gerard, ⚫ dissolved partnership, having never entered into it, or Mr. Daub died conveniently, at least on paper, or even in the paper, or their London agent went off to America, as his employers re-room,' said Spencer. late, and compelled them to call in their debts.' 'Not he,' said Hamilton, 'it's an old one of I forget exactly which it was-but we'll set it down as a dissolution case,' said Tom.

mine.'

'Both wrong, and both right,' replied Davis; 'it's neither yours alone, Spencer, nor yours, Gerard, nor mine; but it is common property to all, and to three-fourths of the university besides. Why, I should not wonder if you laid claim to the answer to it-here it is

set aside for you, and will be sent to your residence on your undertaking to pay the expenses, or delivered to you on your return to Oxford. I am very sorry that, in consequence of a settlement of the accounts of the firm being imperatively demanded, no delay can be permitted in the payment of your debt; and, therefore, you have only yourself to thank if, after seven days from this, you compel me, through neglect of payment, to resort to legal means to compel the settlement of your long-standing account.

"Your obedient servant,

"THOMAS SCREW, JUN." 'O, I'd swear to a dozen of them,' said Hamil

ton.

"Then you

'Bankruptcies are not such bad things after 'Well, to cut the matter short,' continued Tom all,' said Hamilton; 'they pay sometimes. You Davis, Mr. B. being now "super viridem fron- remember Smithers, the pastry cook of St. Alddem," alias up a tree," rather than confide his gate's-he went smash one day, and I owed him difficulties to his friends, offers about a third down, some five or six pounds. In a day or two he and to pay five per cent. on the rest, hoping to called on me, and asked for his money; luckily I clear off scores at Christmas. Now, as Mr. heard he was a bankrupt, so I refused him. Screw and his clients only want to get a firm "Why not?" said he, trying to look big. "Behold of their debtor, preparatory to further pluck-cause you're a bankrupt," said I. ing, the former gentleman informs him that he won't pay ?" Yes, your assignees." "Damn has no doubt Messrs. D. and S. will be satisfied my assignees." "O certainly, if you wish," I with the present stumping up of the said third replied as I shut the door after him, "and you part, if he will give them his bill for the remain-too.' Well, I never heard of that bill again.' der, with some five or six pounds for interest, 'What, not from the assignees,' said Spencer. stamps, and expenses of Mr. Screw and clerks, 'Devil a bit-the old rogue had written me off payable three months after date, and of course as paid in his ledger, in order that he might pick the bill is given. So far, so good. Now, as the up a few stray accounts, and cheat his creditors. bill is illegal, according to the statutes of the dons, So, as I would not pay him, he dared not tell his it is forthwith handed over at about two-thirds, or assignees of the cheat, and I got my term's ices half-price, to some third person, entirely uncon- for nothing.' nected with the university, and having no fear of the vice-chancellor, and all the horrors of discommonizing before his eyes.'

And what on earth,' asked Spencer, is that discommonizing?"

Cancelling his matriculation and license to cheat and dun, and visiting any unfortunate who buys of him with impositions, rustication, or expulsion, as the matter may be,' was Hamilton's reply.

În about a month, this new hand ferrets out the acceptor, and threatens him with putting his bill or bills into immediate circulation, unless either paid before date, or accommodated with another bill for a larger sum and a shorter period than the other the leader of a long file of accommodation papers, each successive one larger and shorter than its predecessor, until at last the acceptor is so hemmed in on every side, that he gets rusticated, expelled, or lodged in the county jail, unless he is wise enough to tell all to his governor, and he is courageous enough to bring the whole tribe into court, and expose their tricks, at some expense, and no little anxiety; and so ends the matter with the poor fish.'

And, Lord have mercy on his soul! as the old treasurer of the Middle Temple used to say when he had to congratulate the new wigs on their being called to the bar,' said Hamilton with a grave smile.

Live and learn; I shall steer clear of trouting next time,' said our hero.

Yes, and tumble into some one else's net. You must get up over night to outwit an Oxford tradesman, said Gerard; look at that nice trick of selling their small accounts.'

There's one comfort in being in difficulties,' said Spencer.

What's that?'

You escape those horrid touters-you're not worth bothering.'

O, the inimitable grace with which they bob and bow,' said Hamilton, as they come into your room, and request to be allowed to show you some new waistcoat patterns just fresh from London, and the persevering industry with which they cover your sofa with valencias and satins, velvets and checks, the rejected of St. James and Bond Streets, and step back to catch a particular light on a shot silk, or a peculiar shade of a violent check. O, it's a perfect study!'

'And if you are not wide awake, it is not many minutes before you are booked for a rapid vest and a pair of inexpressibles, such as Oxford men alone wear, a cross between a green baize and a horse-cloth. The only way is to take it patiently, look on calmly until the touter has covered the sofa and a chair or two with his patches and remnants, then take up your cap, wish him good morning, walk off, and leave the deputy stitch to bless your eyes and pack up his shreds and patches,' said Davis.

'Well,' said Spencer, you may laugh at our men's dressing, but at least it is manly, and not too dandyish.'

Why, how do you think I saw a Cambridge
man dressed not three months since in King's
Chapel?'
The devil only knows,' muttered Tom, sotto

voce.

'First, polished leather boots with paper soles, then, to ascend gradually, fair white ducks tightly