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write a little better than I do now, companion, whatsoever or whosoever and make such a wise little woman of that companion may be, will be one ine; and if I wore gingham, but it you will like." need not be dingy, Grandy, it would "I don't believe it," said Sophy, be all mine, and you would be all mine shaking her head.

“I only like you. too, and we'd keep a bird, and you'd But who is it ?" teach it to sing; and oh, would it not “ Alas” said Mr. Waife, “it is no be nice!"

use pampering ourselves with vain “ But, still, Sophy, we should have hopes; the three pounds are not forthto live, and we could not live upon coming. You heard what that brute daisies and butterflies. And I can't Rugge said, that the gentleman who work now—for the matter of that, I wanted to take your portrait had callnever could work-more shame for ed on him this morning, and offered me, but so it is. Merle says the fault 10s. for a sitting that is, 5s. for you, is in the stars with all my heart. 5s. for Rugge; and Rugge thought the But the stars will not go to the jail or terms reasonable.” the workhouse instead of me. And " But I said I would not sit." though they want nothing to eat, we

“ And when you did say it, you do."

heard Rugge's language to me—0 “But, Grandy, you have said every you.

And now we

must think of day since the first walk you took after packing up, and be off at dawn with coming here, that if you had three the rest. And," added the comedian, pounds, we could get away and live colouring high, “I must again parby ourselves, and make a fortune!” ade, to boors and clowns, this mangled

"A fortune-that's a strong word; forin; again set myself out as a speclet it stand. A fortune! But still, tacle of bodily infirmity—man's last Sophy, though we should be free of degradation. And this I have come this thrice execrable Rugge, the to~I!” scheme I have in my head lies remote “No, no, Grandy, it will not last from daisies and butterflies. We long! we will get the three pounds. should have to dwell in towns, and we have always hoped on :-hope exhibit!”

still! And besides, I am sure those “On a stage, Grandy ?” said Sophy, gentlemen will come here to-nigbat. resigned but sorrowful.

Mr. Merle said they would, at tell No, not exactly—a room would o'clock. It is near ten now, and your do."

tea cold as a stone." “ And I should not wear those hor She hung on his neck caressingly, rid, horrid dresses, nor mix with those kissing his furrowed brow, and leavhorrid, horrid painted people ?" ing a tear there, and thus coaxed him "No."

till he set to quietly at his meal; and " And we should be quite alone, Sophy shared it, though she had no you and I ?"

appetite in sorrowing for him but to " Hum! there would be a third." keep him company ; that done, she

“ Oh, Grandy, Grandy !" cried lighted his pipe with the best canaster Sophy in a scream of shrill alarm. -his sole luxury and expense ; bat "I know-I know; you are thinking she always contrived that he should of joining us with the Pig-faced afford it. Lady!”

Mr. Waife drew a long whiff, and MR. WAIFE (not a muscle relaxed.) took a more serene view of affairs

. " A well-spoken and pleasing gen- He who doth not smoke hath either tlewoman. But no such luck : three known no great griefs, or refuseth himpounds would not buy her."

self the softest consolation, next to SOPHY." I am glad of that; I don't that which

comes from hearen. care so much for the Mermaid she's - What softer than woman ?" whisdead and stuffed. But, oh” (another pers the young reader. Young regler. scream), “perhaps 'tis the Spotted woman teases as well as consoles. Boy!"

Woman makes half the sorrows which MR. WAIFE." Calın your sanguine she boasts the privilege to soothe. imagination ; you aspire too high! Woman consoles us, it is true, while But this I will tell you, that our

we are young and handsome; when

we are old and ugly, woman snubs weigh them both; and if thou give and scolds us. On the whole, then, the preference to woman, all I can woman in this scale, the weed in that say is, the next time Juno ruffles Jupiter, hang out thy balance, and thee~0 Jupiter, try the weed!




The Historian, in pursuance of his stern duties, reveals to the scorn of future ages

some of the occult practices which discredit the March of Light in the Nine

teenth Century “May I come in ?” asked the Cob- you looked into this ball, pretty one, bler outside the door.

as I bade ye?” Certainly come in,” said Gentle- “Yes, two or three times." man Waife. Sophy looked wistfully “Ha! and what did you see?" at the aperture, and sighed to see that “My own face made very long," Merle was alone. She crept up to said Sophy—“as long as that. him.

stretching out her hands. “ Will they not come ?” she whis- The Cobbler shook his head dole

fully, and, screwing up one eye, apI hope so, pretty one; it ben't ten plied the other to the mystic ball.

MR. WAIFE.-"Perhaps you will "Take a pipe, Merle,” said Gentle- see if those two gentlemen are comman Waife, with a grand Comedian ing." air.

Sophy.—“Do, do! and if they will “No, thank you kindly; I just give us three pounds!" looked in to ask if I could do anything The COBBLER (triumphantly).for ye, in case-in case ye must go “ Then you do care to know the to-morrow."

future, after all?" "Nothing; our luggage is small, Sophy.--"Yes, so far as that goes ; and soon packed. Sophy has the but don't look any farther, pray." money to discharge the meaner part The COBBLER (intent upon the ball, of our debt to you."

and speaking slowly, ana in jerks).“I don't value that,” said the Cob

" A mist now.

Ha! an arm with a bler, colouring.

besom-sweeps all before it." “But we value your esteem,” said Sophy (frightened).

" Send it Mr. Waife, with a smile that would away, please." have become a field-marshal. 66 And COBBLER.

Ha! so, Merle, you think, if I am a broken- there's Rugge-looks very angrydown vagrant, it must be put to the savage, indeed." long account of the celestial bodies !". WAIFE.--"Good sign that! pro

“Not a doubt of it," returned tho ceed.” Cobbler, solemnly. “I wish you COBBLER.-"Shakes his fist; gone. would give me date and place of Ha! a young man, boyish, dark Sophy's birth-that's what I want, hair." I'd take her horryscope. I'm sure SOPHY (clapping her hands).she'd be lucky.”

" That is the young gentleman-the “I'd rather not, please," said Sophy, very young one, I mean—with the timidly.

kind eyes; is he coming ?mis he, “Rather not?—very odd. Why?” is he?" “I don't want to know the future." WAIFE.--"Examine his pockets !

" That is odder and odder,” quoth do you see there three pounds ?”. the Cobbler, staring; “I never heard COBBLER (testily.)Don't be a a girl say that afore."

interrupting. Hal he is talking with "Wait till she's older, Mr. Merle," another gentleman, bearded.” said Waife; "girls don't want to Sophy (whispering to her grandfaknow the future till they want to be ther).—" The old young gentleman.” married.”

COBBLER (putting down the crys"Summat in that,” said the Cob- tal, and with great decision).-"They bler. He took up the crystal. “Have are coming here; I see'd them at the


6. It is gone.


corner of the lane, by the public- The COBBLER (indignantly).—“I house, two minutes' walk to this did not think to hear this from you, door.” He took out a great silver Mr. Waife. Teach her-you! make watch: “Look, Sophy, when the her an impostor, and of the wickedest minute hand gets there (or before, kind, inventing lies between earth if they walk briskly), you will hear and them as dwell in the seven them knock."

spheres? Fie! No, if she hasn't the Sophy clasped her hands in mute gift natural, let her alone; what here suspense, half-credulous, half-doubt- is not heaven-sent, is devil-taught." ing; then she went and opened the WAIFE (awed, but dubious).room-door, and stood on the landing- " Then you really think you saw all place to listen.

that you described, in that glass Merle approached the Comedian, egg?" and said in a low voice, “I wish for COBBLER.-" Think!-am I a liar? your sake she had the gift."

I spoke truth, and the proof is there!" WAIFE.—“ The gift !—the three-Rat-tat went the knocker at the pounds !-so do I!"

door. COBBLER.—“Pooh! worth a hun- “The two minutes are just up," dred times three pounds; the gift, said the Cobbler ; and Cornelius the spirituous gift."

Agrippa could not have said it with WAIFE.—“ Spirituous! don't like more wizardly effect. the epithet,-smells of gin!"

They are come, indeed," said COBBLER.—“Spirituous gift to see Sophy, re-entering the room softly; in the crystal: if she had that, she “I hear their voices at the threshold." might make your fortune.”

The Cobbler passed by in silence, GENTLEMAN WAIFE (with a sud- descended the stairs, and conducted den change of countenance).--"Ah! Vance and Lionel into the Comedian's I never thought of that. But if she chamber; there he left them, his brow has not the gift, I could teach it overcast. Gentleman Waife had disher-eh?"

pleased him sorely.


Showing the arts by which & man, however high in the air Nature may have

formed his nose, may be led by that nose, and in directions perversely opposite to those which, in following his nose, he might be supposed to take; and therefore, that nations the most liberally endowed with practical good sense, and in conceit thereof, carrying their noses the most horizontally aloof, when they come into conference with nations more skilled in diplomacy, and more practised in “stage-play,” end by the surrender of the precise object which

it was intended they should surrender before they laid their noses together. We all know that Demosthenes Lord Bolingbroke had “the noblesaid, Everything in oratory was act- man air.” A great comedian Lord ing-stage-play. Is it in oratory Bolingbroke surely was. But, ah, alone that the saying holds good ? had Pope seen Gentleman Waife! Apply it to all circumstances of life, - Taking advantage of the impression “ stage-play, stage-play, stage-play!” he had created, the actor added, with -only ars est celare artem, conceal the finest imaginable breeding,the art. Gleesome in soul to behold “But pray be seated," and, once his visitors, calculating already on seeing them seated, resumed his the three pounds to be extracted easy-chair, and felt himself master from them, seeing in that hope the of the situation. crisis in his own checkered existence,

"Hum !” said Vance, recovering Mr. Waife rose from his seat in su- his self-possession, after a pause perb upocrisia or stage-play, and “hum !" asked, with mild dignity,—" To what “Hem !" re-echoed Gentleman am I indebted, gentlemen, for the Waife; and the two men eyed each honour of your visit?"

other much in the , same way as In spite of his nose, even Vance Admiral Napier might have eyed was taken aback. Pope says that the fort of Cronstadt, and the fort



of Cronstadt have eyed Admiral Na- VANCE.— Certainly not. Why pier.

did you not introduce her to the LonLionel struck in with that youthful don manager who would have engaged boldness which plays the dence with yourself?” all dignified strategical science.

Waife could not conceal a slight “You must be aware why we change of countenance. “ How do I come, sir; Mr. Merle will have ex- know she would have succeeded ? She plained. My friend, a distinguished had never then trod the boards. Beartist, wished to make a sketch, if sides, what strikes you as so good in you do not object, of this young a village show, may be poor enough lady's very “Pretty little in a inetropolitan theatre. Gentleface," quoth Vance, taking up the men, I did my best for her—you candiscourse. “Mr. Rugge, this morn- not think otherwise, since she maining, was willing,—I understand that tains me! I am no Edipus, yet she your grandchild refused. We are is my Antigone.” come here to see if she will be VANCE." You know the classics, more complaisant under your own sir. Mr. Merle said you were a roof, or under Mr. Merle's, which, I scholar!read Sophocles in his native take it, is the same thing for the Greek, I presume, sir?”. present”—Sophy had sidled up to Li- MR. WAIFE.--"You jeer at the unonel. He might not have been flat- fortunate; I am used to it." tered if he knew why she preferred VANCE (confused).—“I did not him to Vance. She looked on him as mean to wound you-I beg pardon. a boy—a fellow-child-and an in- But your language and manner are stinct, moreover, told her, that more not what-what one might expect to easily through him than his shrewd- find in a~ina- -Bandit persecuted by looking bearded guest could she attain a remorseless Baron." the object of her cupidity—“three MR. WAIFE."Sir, you say you

are an artist. Have you heard no “Three pounds!" whispered Sophy tales of your professional brethren with the tones of an angel, into Lio- men of genius the highest, who won nel's thrilling ear.

fame which I never did, and failed of MR. WAIFE.—“Sir, I will be frank fortune as I have done? Their own with you.” At that ominous com- fault, perhaps,-improvidence, wild mencement, Mr. Vance recoiled, and habits--ignorance of the way how to mechanically buttoned his trousers treat life and deal with their fellowpocket. Mr. Waife noted the gesture men ; such fault may have been mine with his one eye, and proceeded cau- too. I suffer for it; no matter- I ask tiously, feeling his way, as it were, none to save me. You are a painter towards the interior of the recess thus - you would place her features on protected. “My grandchild declined your canvass--you would have her your flattering proposal with my full rank amongst your own creations, approbation. She did not consider- She may become a part of your imneither did I—that the managerial mortality. Princes may gaze on the rights of Mr. Rugge entitled him to effigies of the innocent happy childthe moiety of her face-off the stage.” hood, to which your colours lend imThe Comedian paused, and with a perishable glow. They may ask who voice, the mimic drollery of which and what was this fair creature? Will no hoarseness could altogether mar, you answer, 'One whom I found in chanted the old line,

tinsel, and so left, sure that she would

die in rags ! -Save her!" “My face is my fortune, sir,' she said."

Lionel drew forth his purse, and Vance smiled Lionel laughed; poured its contents on the table. Sophy nestled still nearer to the boy. Vance covered them with his broad

GENTLEMAN WAIFE (with pathos hand, and swept them into his own and dignity).—“You see before you pocket! At that sinister action Waife an old man; one way of life is the felt his heart sink into his shoes; but same to me as another. But she-do his face was calm as a Roman's, only you think Mr. Rugge's stage the right be resumed his pipe with a prolonged place for her?"

and testy whiff.

"It is I who am to take the por- should put a little more emphasis on trait, and it is I who will pay for it," the word do." said Vance. “I understand that you “ Did I not put enough? I am have a pressing occasion for sure I felt it strongly; no one can feel “ Three pounds !” muttered Sophy the do more !" sturdily, through the tears which her Waife's pliant face relaxed into grandfather's pathos had drawn forth genial brightness — the équitoque from her downcast eyes" Three charmed him. However, not affectpounds-three-three."

ing to comprehend it, he thrust back “You shall have them. But listen; the money, and said, “ No, sir-not a I meant only to take a sketch-I must shilling till the picture is completed. now have a finished portrait. I can- Nay, to relieve your mind, I will not take this by candlelight. You own that, had I no scruple more delimust let me come here to-morrow; cate, I would rather receive nothing and yet to-morrow, I understand, you till Mr. Rugge is gone. True, he has meant to leave ?"

no right to any share in it. But you WAIFE.—"If you will generously see before you a man who, when it bestow on us the sum you say, we comes to arguing, could never take a shall not leave the village till you wrangler's degree-never get over have completed your picture. It is the Ass's Bridge, sir. Plucked at it Mr. Rugge and his company we will scores of times clean as a feather. leave."

But do not go yet. You came to VANCE. -“ And may I venture to give us money-give us what, were I ask what you propose to do, towards rich, I should value more highly, a a new livelihood for yourself and your little of your time. You, sir, are an grandchild, by the help of a sum artist; and you, young gentleman ?" which is certainly much for me to addressing Lionel. pay-enormous, I might say, quoad LIONEL (colouring).—“Iam nome-but small for a capital whereon thing as yet." to set up a business?"

WAIFE.—“You are fond of the WAIFE.- -“Excuse me if I do not drama, I presume, both of you. answer that very natural question at Apropos of John Kemble, you, sir, present. Let me assure you that that said that you have never heard him. precise sum is wanted for an invest- Allow me, so far as this cracked voice ient which promises her and myself can do it, to give you a faint idea of an easy existence. But to insure my him.” scheme, I must keep it secret. Do “I shall be delighted,” said Vance, you believe me?”

drawing nearer to the table, and feel“I do!" cried Lionel; and Sophy, ing more at his ease.

“But since I whom, by this time, he had drawn

see you smoke, may I take the liberty upon his lap, put her arm gratefully to light my cigar ?" round bis neck.

“ Make yourself at home," said “There is your money, sir, before- Gentleman Waife, with the goodhand,” said Vance, declining down- humour of a fatherly host. And ward his betrayed and resentful nose, all the while Lionel and Sophy were and depositing three sovereigns on babbling together, she still upon his the table.

lap: " And how do you know,” said Waife began his imitation of John Waife, smiling, “ that I may not be Kemble. Despite the cracked voice, off to-night with your money and it was admirable. One imitation your model ?"

drew on another; then succeeded Well,” said Vance, curtly, “I anecdotes of the Stage, of the Senate, think it is on the cards. Still, as of the Bar. Waife had heard great John Kemble said when rebuked for orators, whom every one still adtoo large an alms,

mires for the speeches which nobody,

nowadays, ever reads ; he gave • It is not often that I do these things, But when I do, I do them handsomely.""

lively idea of each. And then came

sayings of dry humour, and odd scraps "Well applied, and well delivered, of worldly observation; and time flew sir," said the Comedian, “only you on pleasantly, till the clock struck

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