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thrown there and deserted by his mother the auspices of an aged grandmother in one of her good humours, to take his except another hero, who appears chance for a nurse of a better temper- somewhat later as a lover in the yes—called by his cries, picked him up: story, a Mr. Harry Lamsbroke, who wrapped the baby in his handkerchief, and put him into his great coat pocket; as George is, he cannot hear his own
outspoons all other spoons)-spoon the lad, knowing Old Crab's way, smiled while Old Crab shook his oaken towel
warm praises from such pretty lips over his head, and had little need be bid without making to them his equally to take care of Old Crop and her foal, warm acknowledgments — much to for he owed Old Crab quite as much as
the surprise of poor Julia.
Howhe could ever pay if he lived to the age ever, the course of their Arcadian of Methuselah. I hope, Mr. Bartho- loves is far from smooth. Old Crab, lomew,' said Mr. Grove, when he came coming to the oak, witnesses their in, you have not been beating, poor endearments, and posts off to apWill; he is one of the best lads in the prise Mr. Grove, and to propose & world.? “No, no,' quoth Old Crab,,"I've match between the young people; done the scoundrel no hurt, not I.'. 'If but Mr. Grove looks higher for you were to see the lad weep, and hear George, and Old Crab forbids Julia him call you his kind father, as poor to see him. Will often does in my presence, I am
However, as we are insure you would not hurt him," said Mr. formed, “fathers and mothers, and Grove. He comes after one of my duty and obedience, fly like moths wenches,' quoth Old Crab, and makes about love's torch, and at last into the baggage as idle as she can hang to. it, and get burned to death.” So the gether: l'il break his bones next time I lovers often meet at milking time, catch him in my kitchen. Your second spite of paternal prohibitions. bell has rung, why the devil don't your Julia and her love, however, are villains bring in the victuals ? At that but subordinate to the principal moment the butler, with four or five female figure, the most wonderful more servants at his tail, came in with heroine ever met with in or out of the dinner; they all smiled at the sight a romance — a Miss Genevieve de of Old Crab for some reason or other, Roma wonderfully rich, wonderwho seized a knife and fork, and put
half & pound of boiled beef upor. his plate
fully strong, and wonderfully beauti
ful. She is six feet high, yet of perthe moment after he had said soon as dinner was over, Old Crab, at
fect symmetry—a splendid brunette, the earnest desire of Mr. and Mrs. Grove, with a fortune which, under the fostergave a very particular account of all hé ing care of that universal steward, had done for his brother John, at which Old Crab, whose niece and ward she Mr. and Mrs. Grove expressed great is, has expanded to fabulous dimensatisfaction."
sions. Of course she has a host of The pretty spark called George is lovers, whose advances she receives the lover of Julia, Old Crab's daugh- more after the fashion of a sheter, who leads on her reverend parent's panther, or a man-hating Amazon, farm a most primitive and pastoral than a modern young lady, treating life, going a-milking duly at morn and them so roughly, whenever they predowy eve. The road from Hinder- sume to touch her hand, that they mark to the castle lies through some are for the most part glad to get of Old Crab's meadows, along which out of her presence with whole bones George frequently passes, and, some —after which we are not surprised at how or other, Julia's cows never will the honest chronicler telling us that stand still properly to be milked ex- "she was rather to be gazed and cept near this road. One day George wondered at than to be loved.” The sees Julia sitting there under a tree only man at that time worthy of her busy about something, and, stealing love in all England must, we think, behind her, finds she is drawing his have been Tom Cribb, then in the likeness, commenting upon it in an full flush of his youthful strength audible soliloquy highly flattering to and science. However, after a sucthe original. Of course, spoon as
cession of lovers as unlike Cribb as he is (and we are sorry to say that a possible, fine gentlemen, foreign noblemore contemptible piece of correct- men, and sentimental young clergyness was never brought up under men, Genevieve returns to the north,
at the close of a London season, with fixed his lips on one cheek, and Doctor her fancy still free, though she has com- Boarcole on the other, their wigs would mitted awful ravages in the hearts of have met over Genevieve's nose! No the other sex. One of Genevieve's such fun for Genevieve, however; who, conquests is made in very reverend during the argument, came in for a very
small share of attention. It has been society. Here is the scene :
said, when there is a contest between “Genevieve fixed her bright eyes on
two, nobody can long stand neuter, that this handsome young clergyman, who is, without siding with one or the other had not as yet run his head into a great of the combatants: Doctor Blow had wig, however a great wig might run in his head; she saw him stare at her, but Doctor Boarcole four times during the
cast his eyes twice on Genevieve, and presently to take his eyes off, and, though discussion, whereupon Doctor Boarcole he had a fair opportunity of sitting next
was Genevieve's man, and she felt her, and she gave him one of her sweet pleased whenever he gave Doctor Blow glances to coax him to her side, she had
a shrewd turn; and whether her smiles the mortification to see him file off, and of applause upon Doctor Boarcole invitake a chair close by the old
maid on the gorated the doctor's wit and genius, or other side of the table. She felt this the loss of them discouraged Doctor very sensibly, but took no notice. Mr.
Blow, Doctor Boarcole certainly overSmith wa3 related to the dean, and he turned Doctor Blow, who, converting had introduced him to her, At this his attention to a slice of plum-pudding reverend table, Genevieve seemed to be and Madeira sauce, put such a great bit unusually alone, and actually sat silent into his mouth at once as might very for want of one to converse with her, well make it a doubt whether it had after a little talk, and a glass of wine, been stopt by argument or by pudding.” with the good old dean. On each side of her sat two great wigs, full of powder and This young clergyman makes some very terrible; and Genevieve looked at impression on the magnificent amaone, and then at the other, and was sure zon's heart; but on finding that a there must be a great deal in them if she poor young woman is pining to death knew how to get it out. The talk, as far for love of this faithless son of the as she could hear, ran upon very grave church, who had been engaged to her matters, which the Reverend Doctor before the sight of her splendid rival Blow, who sat on her left, kept pretty caused him to forget his vows, Genemuch in his own hands. conversing directly across her nose with the Rev. vieve takes leave of him, and' insists erend Doctor Boarcole, who sat on her on his marrying his former fiancée right; now Doctor Boarcole was a little forthwith, which he does, and shortly hard of hearing, and Doctor Blow was after dies of a broken heart. Meanfain to lean towards him when he spoke, time, Genevieve grows more and more who, out of politeness, met him half way, stony-hearted out of suspicion that her which inclination on both parts brought admirers are attracted by her fortune their great wigs over Genevieve's face in
- groundless hallucination, which such a manner as to cast her under a
we have known many amiable young total eclipse of hair, during a great part women of property labour under. of the time she sat at the table ; for Doctor Blow and Doctor Boarcole pre- " • Ah, Beauty,' quoth Old Comical sently fell into an argument upon the one day to Genevieve, for so he always divine right of tithes, which waxed so called her Radiance, who is to come in warm, that the two doctors, during the at last for all that's between your cap and heat thereof, frequently gave Genevieve pattens?Why, John,' said she, what's a brush on either cheek, with the eaves between my cap and pattens is the least of their wigs : which, mixing their white of the matter; if the men could get hold powder with her jetty locks on both of my money, the sooner I were thrown, sides, might induce a belief on one who cap and pattens, into the next ditch the knew nothing of the matter, that Ge- better; it is what they are all after; how nevieve had got kissed by both the doc- is such a rich gipsy as I am to know who tors at once to keep her face steady, for is sincere? and who will offer, after all, the ladies have a trick of turning their that is worth having, while all this faces away when they are kissed, a thing money lies in my lap?' 'Ah, Beauty,' very well known to all doctors in divi- quoth Old Comical, “as music is the nity, who may wear great wigs to hide caper sauce to a country-dance, so it is the ladies' blushes, else what use can the chiming of the guineas in a woman's they be of/ Now if Doctor Blow had apron that sets the men a-prancing
about her: who would look at an angel ain't no calling names in it—no angels if one of the sernphim came down from nor wenuses." heaven with empty pockets? A woman “A few days after this and some more cannot get on in the water without of the like advice, Genevieve began to money; she had as good be a fish without any fins in it, Beauty.' 'I hate the open a new plan of works against the
philosopher, and it came to pass that he men,' said Genevieve; they only court dropt upon her unawares under a hedge me because they want to put their in one of Old Crab's meadows. She had hands into my pocket.''
a little basket in her hand, and his
favourite pointer Ponto was lying by At length, however, Genevieve her side as she sat upon the grass. The meets her fate, and falls desperately philosopher saw her very busy with her in love; but her passion does not seem fingers in her basket, and felt some curilikely to be requited, as the object of osity to see what she was doing; and preit seems perfectly ignorant of liis good sently she gave Ponto a bit of sweet cake fortune, till she gets some hints from into her lap, and fell to licking her face,
out of it, who put his two paws directly her cousin, Lady Charlotte Orby, re
as if it were something very savoury. specting the management of backward She did not seem to take Ponto's kisses lovers.
much in anger, however, for she caught This Lady Charlotte Orby is the him in her arms and gave him some in third heroine of the book, and we return, and another piece of sweet cake, think we like her best of the three. when the pointer curled himself round She is very pretty, very cunning, and and lay down at her feet. Love me love very shrewd—which is surprising con- my dog, quoth the philosopher to himsidering her parentage, for she is the self
, and, plucking a leaf, put it between danghter of Lord Budemere, and her the pages of a folio edition of Aristotle noble parent, besides being a shock- to keep his place, and then laid the old ing rascal, is such a fool that we are
Stagirite down under an oak: having so told, 'if Old Crab had combed Lord done, he crept round the bush ander Budemere's head with a three-legged
which Genevieve sat, and saw her pick stool, and combed out brains and all
, her basket. Ponto, sinelling his master,
a great caterpiller off it and put it into pouring milk, eggs, and sugar, in the jumped up at that moment and began place of them to serve for understand- to whine and wag his tail; Genevieve ing, it would have altered his lord- jumped up too, and saw the philosopher ship’s intellects a world for the better, standing behind the bush.
You great and his soul would have sat much blockhead,' said she, 'what are you come more at her ease in the middle of a for!' Come for!' said Acerbus, ' why, custard.” This shrewd young lady this is the way I usually walk in an rightly divines the object of Gene- evening-what makes Ponto and you so vieve's affections to be the philoso- fond of one another all on a sudden? pher Acerbus, and though' Gene- what have you got in that basket,
fool?' vieve attempts to deny it, and Jenny? What's that to you, you
said she, 'nothing at all. I see some says she would 6
as lief marry the wonderful fish that was shown in under its lid. “Keep your nasty fingers
leaves in it,' said he, poking his fingers Piccadilly for a shilling,” yet Lady out of my basket
, or I'll beat it about Charlotte lays down some hints for your stupid pate, said she.
"You are entangling his heart in cunning very cross this evening, Jenny,' said he meshes, which her friend acts upon. come, I know what is in it; there is Here is one of the scenes between her some cake in it, for I saw you give and the philosophic Acerbus (a very Ponto a bit of cake out of it—and I saw handsome as well as very amiable you put some leaves and a caterpillar man), in which it appears that, under into it.” “Then, if you know, why d'ye
* To see if Old Crab's guardianship, Genevieve ask, ye great ass ? said she. has picked up a good smattering of you made any secret of what it had in it, that eccentric ecclesiastic's peculiar
said he ; let me just look at your catervocabulary. However, after the ultra pillar, Jenny.'. You shall not see it, so sentiment of the love-scenes of most get along,' said she. I lost a very curimodern novelists, we find something made its escape among the leaves; pray,
ous one in that very bush yesterday; it racy in these, odd as they are—for the tell me, cousin, has it got a horn upon its same reason that Old Weller liked tail? The philosopher, a little too eager his son's valentine" because there to see Genevieve's caterpillar, laid hold on her basket, upon which she gave him a quoth the old farmer, 'you must bear great push and rolled him upon the grass. me half in that matter, it will cost me Lady Charlotte, who had wandered from three hundred pound.' • Not a penny,' her friendsin search of wild-flowers,came quoth Old Crab. ‘I have put five hunround some trees just as the philosopher dred pounds to my wench's fortune in was tumbled upon the ground. She ran order to take a step towards you, Masto him, and asked him kindly if he was ter Cartland, so now it is your turn to hurt? Seeing him laugh, she said, 'I de- take a step towards me. Come, come,' clare, if I were you, cousin, I would go qnoth the old farmer, you will build and tumble her down out of pure re- a cow-house!' “No,' quoth Old Crab. venge! 'li the blockhead comes near • A cart-house?' 'No,' quoth Old Crab. me again,' said Genevievewith a haughty “A fatting hog's sty?' 'No,' quoth Old frown, “I will break his neck.' Upon Crab. ‘Find me tiles for the wheatthis Acerbus walked away.”
barn ? No,' quoth Old Crab. “Be While Genevieve is thus wooingthe
something towards the philosopher , and Lady Charlotte pot- a bedr No' quoth Old Crab. "Come,
No,' quoth Old Crab. What, not ting her own principles in practice said Mrs. B. Decastro, • I have feawith Harry Lamsbroke, who is such thers enough by me to make a bed, a shocking young fool that we will if my husband will allow me to make a say nothing more about him, Old little offer on my part.' 'Well, well, Crab, by way of effectually separating quoth Old Crab, “I shan't stick out for a George and Julia, has brought a new few feathers; give us your hand, Master lover to his daughter, one John Cart- Cartland, if 'tis a bargain.' Upon which land, a country bumpkin, who com'es Old Crab and the old farmer shook a-tourting; and all his family are in- hands." vited to dinner. And this is the way The bumpkin lover, however, dies by that Old Crab deals with the subject, an accident; but another obstacle has so interesting to parents and guardi- arisen, for Mr. Grove bas commandans, of marriage settlements.
ed George to marry Lady Charlotte “Now it came to pass, after the Orby (who, not having at that time boiled beef and cabbage, the ham and taken a fancy to the fool Lamsbroke, the fowls were removed, and the wine, has no objection), and the worthy punch, pipes, and strong beer put upon young man, in obedience to his parent, the table, "Look ye, Master Cartland,' is actually at the church door, on his quoth Old Crab,' we will have no way to be married, when Genevieve, forcing and driving in this business; we hearing of it, seizes him there, hustles shall be glad to see your son at a leisure him into her carriage, and makes off hour at the farm, and if he and my, with the prize. wench can agree we'll have a wedding.' other hindrances and distresses, Julia
Eventually, after - And if so be that they cannot,' interrupted the old farmer, why, there's and George are happily united about no harm done.' 'I loves Miss Julee the middle of the third volume. A rarely well,' quoth Madam Cartland, less sentimental, though perhaps more and if as why she can get the better of diverting love-affair than any of the her heart and hankerings, for I have others, is that of Old Comicai, whose been told that the Squire don't care for inamorata is thus described :a match betwixt her and his son, why, “Now there was a lady in these days as I says, I hopes as how my son John, named Madam Frances Funstall, who heaven bless him, may be her man after had a duke for her father and a dairyall, but yet, as why, as I says, I ban't for maid for her mother, and lived at a neat cramming force-ment into her mouth little house in a village called Dillieswhether she wool or no.'. 'Well, well,' piddle: Her noble father seeing she was quoth Old Crab, we shall see how not like to be a beauty, left her in his matters will be; you and I understand will a legacy of ten thousand pounds, one another, Master Cartland. Bullocks- part of which she had laid out in a purHatch and the water meads come with chase of a house and garden, and lived your son, if the thing take place, and upon the interest of the remainder like three thousand pounds go with my a gentlewoman of figure: now this was wench. But the homestall must be re- very considerate in his grace, for a wopaired at your expense, I insist upon man without beauty and without money that, and I will keep the young fólks may get up before sunrise and look for until the farmhouse be got ready for a husband till ’tis dark, and then go to them.' 'Look you, Master Decastro,' bed without one. As for beauty, Madam
Funstall had not as much as she could in his mouth, with the end thereof stickcover with her hand, which was so ing out of the post-chaise window. Old small, and her fingers so short and thick Crab hearing a great noise among the that she could not shut it: she had the pigs, and a cracking of whips, as he sat duke's nose only, all the rest belonged in his little parlour, came forth at the to the dairy-wench.”
moment Old Comical drove up to the
back of the house, for he had too much Old Comical's brother dies and modesty to come up to the grand enleaves him heir to £3000 a-year, and trance. Why, you scoundrel !' quoth the manor of Cock-a-doodle. The Old Crab, 'I expected you to run mad, good news has a singular effect upon but this is not the way to Bedlam; him.
what the plague d'ye come here for ?'
Upon which Old Comical, pulling his “ It brought him trouble in his in
head and shoulders out of the tankard, ward parts, however, and what might for it was a monstrous jug, big enough have turned another man's brains turned for a man to bathe in it, said, “Look you, old Comical s stomach into confusion, master, I am as much your humble seruproar, and astonishment, Adzooks,
vant to command as ever, for all I am what a rumbling and grumbling, what lord of the manor of Cock a-doodle,' a piping, what a squalling of the bowels, blowing a long pillar of smoke out of his what a quarrelling and noise, what a
mouth through the chaise window : 'you piece of work there was in his inside! have been a noble master to me, took he felt as if he had swallowed a great me in when I had nothing but rags upon rebellion and they were fighting for a my back and raw turnips in my belly, new constitution in his belly! but he fed me and clothed me, and 'sume my had no mind to run mad for all that; body if I ever leave your farm as long for then he would have been put into a
as you will let me work for you! no, no, dark room and had his money taken
-you were my friend when I had not away. 'Now,' said he, shutting Old
a sixpence in my pocket, and 'sume me Crab's garden door, ‘I will see if I can
if I ever forsake you now I have three get in time to be chief mourner at my thousand pounds a-year and am lord of brother's funeral, but as for crying, the manor of Cock-a-doodle !'-Upon every body knows how little water I which Old Comical gave his tankard to have to spare that way; folks will be the post-boys, and a crown a piece to disappointed if they take my eyes comfort their constitutions, on the road, pair of water squirts; what! come into
as he told them, threw off his coat and three thousand a year, and put my fin. waistcoat and went afield with the next ger in my eye! A very small bottle will hold all my flittings. No,-as for middle of his wheat barvest. And this
empty waggon, for Old Crab was in the weeping, we will leave all that to be brings us down, as it were by a regular done by all such as come in for nothing flight of steps, to Old Cemical's first by the death of the departed. They may visit, as a lover, at Dillies-piddle; it was weep with a better grace, and never be
a Sunday morning, and Madam Funsuspected of hypocrisy: no, no,-no stall sat tackled out in her best apparel weeping, teare have nothing to do in
at the breakfast-table, when Old Comi. the matter, for my brother is better off
, cal rang at her gate with a calf's heart and so am I; then what occasion is there in his hand, a great skewer stuck in it, for crying when there is no harm done and the blood all trickling through his on either side? A good friend is gone, fingers : Madam Funstall cast her radiit is true; but when he has done us all
ant eyes through her window, as she the good he can do, and left a world of sat sipping her tea and brandy, saw, and troubles for a better, he would call me
knew him in a moment: for Old Comia fool if he saw we fall a-crying, and tell cal, long since her ardent lover, used to me so to my face, if he could speak his stick her pigs and singe her bacon and mind. Upon which Old Comical shut
never told his love : and how should he Old Crab's garden-door, as aforesaid, put dare, when he was a day-labourer on on his best suit, and set off for the ma- Old Crab's farm at a shilling a-day and nor of Cock-a-doodle. Now, having set- his victuals ?” tled all matters to his mind, paid his legacies, settled the widow in her jointure
Madam Funstall, seeing Old Comihouse, and put a good tenant into Cock cal arrive at her gate, and not knowa-doodle hall
, he gat him forth with into ing of the marvellous change in his a post-chaise, and galloped into old fortunes, imagines he has come to be Crab's farmyard with four horses and paid for the last pig he stuck for her, two postilions, a tankard of strong beer and sends him, by her maid Keziah, in his hand, and a long pipe of tobacco a shilling's worth of halfpence, and a